Doctor Evil read the custody papers to SD

SD was on the phone tonight with DH. Tonight's convo:

SD: I got the papers you sent.
DH: huh??
Sd: the papers. About custody. About me. I was here when it happened.
DH: they got served to you??
SD: no. My mom. She read them to me.
DH: wow. That's sad.
SD: she says I have the right to know. I do, don't i?
DH: no honey, please don't worry about this. This is between me and your mom. Your job is just to focus on school. Just know I love you and I love spending time with you, okay?
SD: okay.

She seemed to take what DH said well. She said she had a bad day at school though and wouldn't talk about it. We have her tomorrow night. We shall see how that goes.

But seriously, how sad for my SD. How sad that this woman does this and truly believes it's her 9 year old daughters right to know that her father is "taking her away" and her daughter doesn't need a father. How sad that she spends her days laced with hatred for DH. I'm not even angry, but I also saw his coming. I suspected she would do it. She did. I'm not even sad. DH is. But I DEALT first hand with all the alienation for the past year and a half. I spent nights crying and throwing up. I've heard everything you could possibly imagine and more,

Now it's just an empty feeling. I block it out for my sanity. I rubbed DHs shoulders, reminded him we can't control what hex says, and he went to bed,

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It started when she first

It started when she first turned 6, and hex was telling her the full on nitty gritty details.

It still astonishes and

It still astonishes and amazes (and sickens) me what some of these bitter, vindictive women will do to their OWN children all because they are angry at the father.

We went through this - not custody but the PAS and the just vile, nasty, hurtful things she would say to the skids about (ex)OH and I at every turn, for no reason than to be nasty and "get at him" Even to the point of lying to them, I really don't get it, ok - hate the guy all you like but don't fucking damage your kids to hurt HIM - you are hurting THEM more.

Same. It's such a foreign

Same. It's such a foreign concept to me. If I were a hex I would simply state, "we were in love, and are not anymore. However we both still love you. The details of our divorce are between your father and I. It is none of your business. When you get older and start dating, I will give you relationship advice. But what happened in the past is the past, and is nothing for you to worry about."

WHY is that so hard for people to say??

Uberskank used to do the same

Uberskank used to do the same thing to the skid. And she was around the same age as yours.

It's a very shitty thing to do to kids. They should never be aware there is a custody or court situation going on between the parents.

I agree with the other member who considers this abusive behavior.

Ugh. This will predictably be

Ugh. This will predictably be SD.

The horrors of PAS just keep on going...

^^^ agreed. It's makes me sad

^^^ agreed. It's makes me sad for his daughter that THIS is who he chose to be the mother of his child. tHIS is who he chose to at one point marry.

THIS is why choices affect other people.

I completely agree and have

I completely agree and have said this to SO

That's a great way to explain

That's a great way to explain it!

Oh god. sigh

what a beeyotch. "no,

what a beeyotch. "no, sweetie, you dont have a right to know or choose. you are nine years old - you DO have a right to be a child and not have to be burdened with adult matters." i also like what crazytrain said above about children not having a right to choose things that are necessary for them, like brushing teeth or showering. it is necessary for sd to have a very much involved father too.

This is what DH has been

This is what DH has been telling SD for years. "You have the right to be a child, please don't worry about adult subjects."

Which dr evil counters back with, "you are getting old enough sd. Old enough to make a choice. Old enough to know 'the truth". she started telling SD that when she was 6. SD WANTS to be treated like an adult. We treat her like a 9yr old here. She get treated like a fellow 47yr old at her moms.

Hex needs to get over herself and thank her lucky stars that her child HAS an involved father.

will hex allow any sort of

will hex allow any sort of therapy for her? sounds like the poor kid could use it...

Nope! They have joint legal

Nope! They have joint legal but hex has ironclad final say on medical. Counseling is a no-go, therefore we have to go through the courts to get it established.

She doesn't believe sd has a problem...

I've been wanting SD to get a counselor for years.