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I would never say this

EvilAngel's picture

To DH but I often wonder if Thunderfoot actually is his. She looks and acts nothing like him or her sister. There is absolutely NOTHING about her that would make me think that they actually share DNA. BM was a one night stand that dropped her off on his door step at 6 months old. And according to Thunderfoot, BM used to be an escort and who's to say that MY DH is the one that knock her up? I hope like hell he had a DNA test done but sometimes I wonder. Yeah yeah, I know I can't say anything or do anything about it..but a girl can dream can't she?!?!?!?


EvilAngel's picture

I have never said anything to him about it. He may have but I am not 100% sure about that though.

fakemommy's picture

Why wouldn't you ask if he took a DNA test? I made sure my DH had one done before I got seriously involved with him.

EvilAngel's picture

I am unsure exactly how to ask. I know he would probably get mad as hell if I even suggested it. If she was younger, I wouldn't have an issue with it. I don't know why I have an issue saying anything. My ex BF got GOT by his exW. He paid CS for almost 18 years before he found out his "daughter" was in fact not his.

kathc's picture

Hell, I'd just tell that story! "You know, my ex had a daughter that he never questioned then when she was 16 his ex wife said "well she's not yours!" Isn't that crazy?" See how he reacts. Maybe he'll say "that's why I got a paternity test!" Or admit he didn't.

hereiam's picture

Since it was a one night stand, I don't think questioning paternity is out of line.

But at this point, I'm not sure what good will come of it. He obviously believes she is his or considers her his, whether she is biologically or not. Nothin' you can do about that.

If it was a one night stand, I'm pretty sure he has questioned it himself so maybe it just doesn't matter to him.

EvilAngel's picture

It should matter but you are probably right. He is just such a softy about EVERYTHING, I have to wonder if he didn't get one pulled over on him.

bellladonna's picture

You can't always go by looks. I don't look anything like my mother. I don't have any of her features. I look EXACTLY like my dad. My younger sister on the other hand looks exactly like my mother and doesn't favor our father at all. DD4stb5 looks like a cross between my mother and my BIL. She doesn't look like me AT ALL. I know for a fact DD is my daughter.

It's interesting how you said BM was an "escort" is that a nice way of saying she was a bona-fide wh*re? Did DH know she was an "escort"?

EvilAngel's picture

I look EXACTLY like my dad but my mom and I sound exactly alike. I am just wishing she isn't his. LOL

I think she became an escort after they did the deed. I sure as hell HOPE so!

Redredwine's picture

There were plenty of reasons to wonder if one of the skids was DHs. So, I made a fun family activity to try one of those dna/family history things you can do now. Turns out the skid is DHs. And it is interesting to have him and the skids compare their chromosomes. I got it for me and my kid too.

EvilAngel's picture

I like how you made that a fun family activity. Wonder if I could get them to go with that? Hmmmmmmm....

hereiam's picture

I would caution you about going about this in an underhanded way. It could really blow up in your face.

Redredwine's picture

True. For me, DH was on board with it and knew full well he might find something he didn't want to know.

learningallthetime's picture

When I was with ex, he claimed he doubted paternity of 2 of the 3 skids with BM2. But he always refused DNA tests - I think because it was far more productive to him to complain about the doubts than actually know the truth. Once kids hit a certain age it seems really unfair to do anything other than assume the paternity, unless the kid questions it.

My BS8 and ex-SD16 look far more alike than any of the other kids (there are 5). Despite only sharing dad's DNA. And BS8 actually looks more like me. So, unless I snuck across continents and gave birth to SD16 (who also looks like me!) when I was 19, I just think genetics likes to have fun!

bearcub25's picture

OT - I've been looking for a Thunderfoot post.

We have a 100lb German Shepherd that sounds like a herd of cows when he runs thru the house. DSO and I were talking about him the other nite and I called him Thunderfoot...DSO loved that name and asked where I heard it....UMmmmmm, I read it somewhere on the web.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

DH found out his younger son (then 9) wasn't his. The kid kept making comments about how DH wasn't his "real dad," obviously fed by BM, so DH had a test done. Sure enough, not his kid. BM wasn't the least bit surprised, and didn't come right out and say it, but told us in so many ways that her current H is the kid's biofather. (And as the kid gets older, he looks more and more like the guy. There's nothing about him that resembles DH). However, none of that would have mattered to DH. He raised the kid. He loved him, still does. He was his son. Except BM made sure he was PASed out, so now he's no longer in our lives.

DNA may not matter to your DH. If it doesn't matter to him, as much as it may bug you, it's good that you're letting it go. The decision would have to come 100% from him. You wouldn't want him to have any resentment toward you down the road.

EvilAngel's picture

Thunderfoot and DH don't have what I would call a close bond either. Not like he and Softheart at all.

EvilAngel's picture

If I brought it up, this would be the main reason he would shoot me down. If she didn't have him she would have no one. It's not like I would tell him to kick her out and ignore her, I would just like to know. BM already owes him God only knows how much in CS BUT...she's in the looney bin so I guess she gets a pass for being a whack job.

EvilAngel's picture

Sounds like my DH. That's why Thunderfoot gets away with being a lazy slob... Because she's had such a rough life. SMH