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Oh and...

emptyrisksagain's picture

DH and I are thinking of having a kid. I know, I know. I should run like hell.

But we are 35 (young, to me) and sheesh....no kids of our own.

So on top of insane sister (which we didn't expect, the cops were out of nowhere...previous post)...DH'S own insane daughter, my two sons, and just living....

we are supposed to start trying in 3 effing days. THREE DAYS.

My oldest is against us having kids. My youngest is for it. SD16(SLMOST 17) admits "I'LL BE SO, SO JEALOUS, MAYBE IT ISN'T A GOOD IDEA. I won't like more attention on someone else more than ME."

You know what? The latter is reason enough for me. ROFLMAO.

No but really...We are young and SHE will be gone soon, we are happy 80% of the time, and soon I'll have the choice of "more kids" taken out of my hands.

I don't know what to do.

My oldest is 17 (almost 18).
SD? You know her age.
Youngest is 14 (last May).

And now my sister (Sarah--29) is being a psyho-bitch.

Please...feedback? I'm not kidding. I want to try to have another kid. But is it AWFUL at this point? Be honest, please....just not cruel. K? I need real solid advice. My eldest thinks having another would kill my chances of having any life of my own. SHE (SD) thinks only of herself. I can't imagine no pitter-patter in my life until grankids and that could be 10-15 years...I just...I just feel confused. Ya dig?

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emptyrisksagain's picture

I'll totally take that into account. Best to you!

katherz's picture

Well, I am 35, DH is 35. My DD is 13 and SD is 5. SD has already asked when baby season is (she asked us this on the way back from church--one of the cutest and most honest questions I've already heard) and my DD would be fine with it. She already dotes on SD (except for when she's feeling suffocated) and I think everything would be fine with the two of them.

When DH and I met, we both said that we possibly wanted to have more kids. We had a talk last month about the big "B"....still not totally sure. We are really enjoying our time together and since we are newlyweds (married April 4), the kids are finally really settling into their new life (we didn't live together first). We are huge sports fans (baseball and college football) and really enjoy going to those games with/without the kids, going to weddings, meeting up with his college friends, etc...things that are hard to do with a baby....but not impossible.

I got married so darn young the first time and I never really had much of an adult life before I had DD. I am really torn. Being 35, my clock is ticking. I can't see a baby or even worse, smell their hair, without tearing up!! But, we are really enjoying our life right now. When SD is with BM and DD is facebooking, we love to go down to our cave (where the big screen is--coolest cave there is--and curl up to watch a movie....when DH is messing around with his Fantasy Football stuff, I love to just curl up with a book. We just pretty much agreed that not quite yet. I don't exactly know what that means....I'm thinking next year. I wouldn't even call it selfish...we're just taking the time we need first.

The biggest thing is, I so desperatly want to have a child with DH. I want to see a combination of SD & DD....a mini DH. I know nothing about boys (I and SD and DD are extremely girly) but I would love to give him a son. Just love to.....

You do what you and DH want....the kids will adjust. I wanted to post about this myself, but we aren't quite trying yet....well, we "practice trying" all the time....! Dirol

Practice away!!!

emptyrisksagain's picture

and we sound like we're in the same damned boat. We don't know if it's a boat with room for a baby, but darn it they are adorable and fun and they teach us so much they just....are magic (even when they poop, and purp up old milk, and cry in the night, and demand things, and learn the word "no"...LOL).

DH loves his...oh gosh...I think they're called football "pools" ? I love my Sudoku and Sims II/III.
He loves his random naps. I love watching scary movies on the itnernet.
I love to read. He loves to be his quiet, strange, weird self...and mess with the swimming pool chemicals all day on weekends until they're just right.

We have this quiet beauty in us. We're "almost there" by everyone else's standards (kids will all be moving soon). I don't celebrate this "almost there" shit. I don't crave it or adore it.

I adore my kids going out to experience LIFE...that's so effing cool I can't express it. I want...and will LOVE them out in the world learning what they are and can be....etc.

But as I said...in the mean time (and it does feel MEAN, lol)....no "pitter-patter", no laughter of children to fill my ears and heart...maybe just silence.

Can I face that silence? Or is it a wall that will become 2, 3, 4 walls and eventually smother me with "what ifs"?

I just dont know.
But I WILL enjoy practice. LOL.

I wish you the best, my mate in the same boat. *hugs*

melis070179's picture

After 35, the risks go way up. I say if you two want one, get on it. And yes, the older ones will be gone soon. They will get used to it, and hopefully fall in love with the baby Smile

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

emptyrisksagain's picture

Scare a bitch why don't ya?! LOL (kidding)!!!!

I do know what you mean, though. Thanks...

RB's picture

My husband was 52 and I was 32 when we had our first child together. The next time around my husband was 61 and I was 41. We are very happy about those kids. Take Folic Acid and start on a prenatal. See your OB-GYN right away. Before you get pregnant. There are a lot of risks and a lot of tests. So, be ready for the roller coaster ride of your life. But it is worth it!

emptyrisksagain's picture

I started vitamins a while back (LOTS OF FOLIC, and I love you for mentioning it), and have curbed some bad habits. Smile You're right, too, about seeing my doc. I'll do that A/S/A/P. Thank you, sweetie!