2017 was truly a whirlwind.

The year started off with the children's grandmother (on BM's side) falling very ill. BM quickly used this as an excuse for DH to let her see the children. She even guilt-tripped him by saying "My mom is literally dying and you won't let me see my own children." Her older sister moved in with the grandmother to take care of her. Around this time, BM was freshly out of her another stint in rehab and was living with a new boyfriend about two hours away. SD had received tickets to a concert as an early birthday present and, because her Aunt was busy with her dying mother, I took her myself. A few months later, BM was in town visiting her mother and other family members. BM and her Aunt were at the local mall, and they ran into SD (who was with a babysitter at the time). SD did not even realize that was her own mother and BM didn't dare say anything. The next month, the grandmother was admitted to hospital where she could peacefully die. SS went with his Aunt and unfortunately ran into his mother, who somehow made the tragedy all about her. He was disgusted and after saying his goodbyes to his grandmother, called me to come pick him up. I made sure BM had left and took SS to see her grandmother. She didn't understand that the woman was literally dying and assumed that she would see her again tomorrow. Within twenty four hours, the grandmother passed away. We all dreaded the funeral because we knew BM would be there. DH and I went out of respect, but kept our distance. BM tried to hug SD, who stiffended and looked away. She reached down and hugged SD, who was physically uncomfortable and immediately ran back over to her father. Neither of them spoke to her the entire time we were there. They literally spoke to every family member BUT her. BM begged SD to come with her after the funeral, but he refused, and promptly let her know SD would not be going with her either. Outside, as I was climbing into my husband's truck, I looked over and saw BM standing there, crying and smoking a cigarette. I maintained eye contact with her as I helped SD into the truck, buckled her up, and BM lowered her gaze.

It was less than one month after this that BM was back in prison. She blamed her returning to crime on her mother's death, even though she had been committing crimes with her boyfriend for months. We found out around this time she had been homeless and living on the streets. She spent four months locked up and upon release, immediately went back to another rehab facility. We barely heard from her until around Christmastime when she sent SS a letter from rehab stating this was her "final time" there and she was "turning it all around" and (exact quote): "By this time next year, I'll be a real mom." He let me read the letter, then ripped it up and threw it away. She convinced her older sister to give SD and SS $100 each and say it was from her. She sent them Christmas cards with the same "I love you, I miss you, I'll see you soon." Signing it "Love, Mom" killed me inside. I gave them to DH. He said SD didn't need to see hers, but SD was old enough. He didn't even open the card - just threw it in the trash.

I wish I could say that the whirlwind of 2017 was the last of it, but the saga continues.