Question about mealtimes
So here's my issue. SS14 is autistic and has the emotional maturity of a 5 to 8 year old. His manners are atrocious. He shovels food in his mouth like someone's going to take it away from him, gulps his drink like he's dying of thirst WITH food still in his mouth, talks with food in his mouth, clanks and scrapes his silverware against the plate, slurps and grunts at times, and interrupts and interjects in EVERY conversation. He spills food all around his plate, you get the picture. It's like this every single meal. FDH and I can prep him before dinner, warnings of losing his meal/eating alone if his manners are poor, but it does no good. You would have to be correcting him the entire meal, which ruins everyone's meal. A lot of his behavior is attention-seeking. For example, he will drag his fork across his plate making that awful scraping sound while watching me for my reaction. I am working on ignoring it, but it's hard, because it's EVERY conversation EVERY meal. You can tell him to stop interrupting, but then he gets the attention he is wanting and will just do it again.
So, I get that some things have to slide, in order to have a semi-peaceful meal. I play music or have TV on in the background to help eliminate the disgusting noises he makes, I move my chair a bit and stare at the wall to avoid watching his grossness, but it's not enough. It's not like he does one or two of the above list, it's all of it, every meal.
I've removed myself from the table, but that makes FDH upset. SS has been sent from the table, but then he gets attention, and everyone's meal is disturbed by his behavior. I don't think FDH will go for having SS eat by himself. That just gives SS free range with his disgusting manners.
I need some creative suggestions and ideas, please. How to handle this, what to do.....