Goodness, I’ve been on this board for almost 8 years!!
I googled “I hate my stepdaughter” back in 2013 and here I am! It was the oldest SDthen13 to which I was referring. She is now SD22 and we get along fine. I’m not very involved, but we are cordial and kind to each other. We remember each other’s birthdays and so forth.

Now my struggle is with SD18. Senior in high school. Lazy as the day is long. Although she hasn’t said ANYTHING to DH about it, it’s apparent that she will NOT be attending community college or any type of tech school or certification after (barely) graduating this spring and is going to move in with SD22 and SD22’s fiancé. While I am THRILLED that she won’t be in the house, I am so disappointed in her and worry that she will try to boomerang back into the house at some point.

SS16 is on the spectrum, high-functioning autistic. I am so proud of him. He is down to the lowest level of ONE medication. He has “graduated” from his social skills therapy. His IEP in school has been changed, he doesn’t have an Associate with him during the school day anymore, he’s in ALL “regular classes” as he has tested WAY out of any type of special education classes. He’s in marching band, he’s learning to cook – made chicken wraps for dinner one night – doing his chores, being a know-it-all-smark-aleck at times……in other words, a regular annoying teenager and I couldn’t be more thrilled. It’s not all perfect, we had a poopy pants issue last summer that has THANKFULLY been resolved, and there are still social skills/manners issues……I mean, people don’t just get cured of autism, but he is obviously stepping up and taking control of his life DESPITE his challenges. If you read my previous blogs, he was a feral mess and I truly worried for his future when he was younger. The last 2 years have made such a difference. He even did well with the whole remote learning Covid situation…. which was a huge mess, but he stepped up, demonstrating MORE dedication and maturity than his older sister SD18.

Present day…….SD18 has a car and drives herself and SS16 to school. DH and I both work from home (covid). SD18 is HORRIBLE about getting out of bed. I give DH ten shades of hell for enabling this and getting her up in the mornings previously, and not having any punishments for being late. SS16 is 90% of the time up and ready to go in the mornings. He gets SD18 up EVERY morning. It’s so pathetic when I’m getting my morning coffee to see SS16 with his shoes, coat, and backpack on, all ready to go, his breakfast dishes and glass rinsed out, just waiting quietly by the door for princess SD18 to get her royal a$$ out of bed.

The other day, I just had it. After the 2nd time of SS16 knocking on her door, “Hey, are you up? Can you please get up so we’re not late again?” I LOST IT. I took my water glass that I always have by my nightstand, went into her room, and doused her with the water.
****pause for those that are going to freak out about the water, to freak out about the water****
I don’t care. Save your moaning and groaning and pearl clutching. It was barely a cup of water and it was all on the blanket that she was encased in. AND she was warned and warned and warned…….

Of course, this is what DH is focusing on…..precious princess had some water thrown on her. I even said this to him FIRST THING when I told him what happened. “DH, ABC happened. Now, I know you’re going to be mad and focus ALL ON ME when the issue really is about SD18 getting up, but this is NOT FAIR to SS16 and I have ASKED you time and time again to handle this….so I am blaming YOU!!!! And I don’t want to talk about it anymore until you DO something about it” Drop mic, exit stage left