No, I don't think its wrong if this works best for your family.

In my situation, skids are rarely around during my family's functions because of the visitation arrangements, but if they are, they usually tag along with us. My family accepts them and treats them like family, which is not always fun and games...lol!

All the kids in my family are treated the same no matter if they belong to friends, me & my H, my siblings, etc. If there are kids at a family function nobody really thinks of them in regards to "whose kids are those"...we hate all the kids the same LOL!! JK

Its not wrong that they aren't included in your family functions if that's they way you and your husband want it...My family accepts my skids though and everyone treats them like they are my bios.

I'm the same way. My parents treat ss kindly. Not like 'their' grandkids though and that's ok. Ss has met my brother and nephews & nieces but they live so far away. When we do see them ss is not around. Ss has also been with my extended family once during a holiday so he doesn't know them really either. This year will be the first in MANY years where we will have ss during a holiday. But even so we'll split that time between mine and dh's family. What most likely will happen is ss will just stay wih dh's family and not be around mine. His choice not our forcing. We just let him. It is fine for us. I feel the same way- ss is not really 'my' family. If I didn't have biokids maybe I'd feel differently and want to include him more? My relationship with ss is just different. He doesn't claim me as a stepmom- just by my name or 'his dad's wife'. My parents aren't his stepgrandparents- just 'my' parents. That's how he wants it and it's fine.

When SS was younger and lived with BM, DH and I tried to take him to visit my family a few times. As soon as BM would find out that we planned to visit my family she would cancel visitation at the last minute. But my family felt it was important to acknowledge SS as a part of the family so they always got him birthday and christmas presents. SS was considered the 1st grandkid for my parents. SS now goes on the yearly camping trip with my family and tries to come at Christmas too if it doesn't conflict with his other side of the family (they always get 1st preference).

We never forced SS to have a relationship with my family. My family reached out to SS and he accepted them. SS now chooses to be a part of my family's vacations and get togethers.

I feel that each and every blended family is unique so there's not a right or wrong here. It's more just what makes sense for you and your situation.

Hope you have a great time with your family.

my mom & dad are divorced... but they are both very nice & loving to skids and always tell me to bring them to what ever thing is going on.... i did many times in the past on my mom's side, but probably not again.. sd hasn't spent the night with her stepcousin (they are the same age) in over 2 years and she used to spend w/e's there all the time.. but after the little brat stole out of my purse, she isn't invited to anything anymore..

every year we have a w/e long family reunion on my dad's side....and if we have skids that w/e, i ask mil to watch them.. i'm sure mil wonders why her little grand angels are never invited to fun stuff that dh & i do with my family, but she's never said anything... anything to me that is..

i don't get to see my parents and extended family all the time and when i do, the last thing i want is skids their bringing me down.