So glad I joined this site! Here is my story…
I am a childless woman in my forties and knew my DH since high school but we have only been married 3 years. He has primary custody of kids, SD15 & SD20 live with us 90%of the year. BM walked out when SD was 5ths old to be with another man. MIL helped raised SKids, but also spoils them.
During pandemic I sold my house & moved in with him & SKids. I thought the house looked how it did due to his low salary (come to know now he is just lazy) we moved into new home a week after wedding (which we afford because of my salary - I make 3x what he does) and that's when it went to crap.
I bought everything we needed for new home, furniture, SKids bedroom furniture, lawnmower, etc. Somewhere along the way I became the primary provider for paying most of the bills, while he racked up debt and just assumed I would pay (we have a joint account for household bills that we both contribute to based on the percentage we bring into the marriage. We both have personal accounts for whatever). The issue is my personal account is used to cover the increase in prices, debt he occurred and provide for SD15 extra curricular activities. When asking for him to contribute more, he said he can't (his personal account is used to buy cigarettes and ps5 games)
SKids get whatever they ask for from MIL and BM without having to lift a finger. No chores, nothing. Just get what they want. Not how I was raised at all! I tried to instil some house rules, DH doesn't enforce them, and he ignored most too.
I have decided recently, as I now work a PT job to help supplement our income, that I want our debt paid off in 3 years and I am no longer a human ATM for this family, and no longer want to be the maid and personal chef.. I also have been very direct with SKids that they are lazy, ungrateful, and are not contributing members of society or this household (as I spend my free time picking up and cleang up after all three of them). Anything that I purchase, they assume they can use since it's in the house, and they have broken things of mine a and shrug it off. It's exhausting and not what I signed up for.
my DH and I have exhausted speaking of the topics regarding money, disapline of SKids, or what an adult should just do if their DW works 2 jobs. So I am the b*tch and everything is my fault (so I hear). I still pay the bills, and for SKids activities, but nothing else. My thought is, they have a BM and BD, they can fend for them financially.
thank you for letting vent on this blog! I am sure some might think I am petty, and don't get me wrong, I love my SKids, but I don't have to like them and look forward to the day when they move out!