P*ss on the Toilet Seat, Part III
You guys, OMG. It happened AGAIN.
It was ok after DH addressed it before, another visit with no issues, now full on BACK to it.
I went in there because DH was in the upstairs bathroom - viola. I had it out with him this morning, told him that unless he WANTS me to DEAL with it and fix it immediatly he do it ASAP. He quickly said he'll handle it this once. OH, REALLY? "DH this is not the first time, but the second and I'm done with it. Either you handle it or that's it, I will and I don't care becuase she's 15 and this should.not.be.happening.at.all.period."
FFS
So still not handled.
I know it won't be today. So tomorrow monring I will check and if it's again happened, I will go full Parental on her and that's that.
I am giving him an inch more leeway due to some PAS stuff that has come up and he's also dealing with that. So EFF BM and her household and all the dammed stuff that's bleeding into our home. I'm certain this has do to with that now.
I'll update you all over the weekend as I'm watching to see how this potential PAS thing is going to go. I told DH he needs to confront and call out YSD on it as soon as he's sure of it - call her out and make her explain once he's certain. Do not let her "I don't knows" or shrugs or tears stop you from addressing it. Because then PAS wins.
FFS - he hold me last night he's ready to give up on YSD at this point, just tell BM to keep her (which you all know I don't agree with and I said so).
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There is no way a 15 year old
There is no way a 15 year old FEMALE is "accidentally" or "not knowing" she peed on the toilet seat. This is 100% on purpose.
Wow and to think I was
Wow and to think I was annoyed that SD16 can't figure out how to clean her toilet! I told her 6 months ago she's responsible for cleaning it (meaning with tb cleaner and a scrubber). well I don't go in her bathroom so I assumed she knew how to do it. NOPE! She scrubs the bottom of the bowl but the under rim was DISGUSTING!! I just happened to see it because DH used her toilet last night and left the lid up.
So now I have to show an almost 17 year old how to scrub a toilet! But at least she knows how to go to the bathroom...
This should be very simple to address
You tell hubby, hubby immediately calls her to yhe toilet where he is waiting and says "what is this?" Whilst pointing to the pee on toilet seat then says "it's absolutely disgusting and you're a girl!! Are you peeing standing up??" Then tells her clean it now!! He watches her clean it up and there are no excuses or whatever.
once she has cleaned it and put it in bin, he tells her to get the mop, some soap in water in the mop bucket and she mops the floor whilst he supervised. Then she washes the mop clean and throws that dirty water away!!
shame has a way of bringing them into line. If she bitches to bio mum that daddy made me clean the toilet and she runs off her mouth at your husband, he just directly says "our daughter peed on the toilet seat which is disgusting and as a girl who should be peeing in the bowl and not the seat, she needs to clean this up, not someone else!!"
imagine the humiliation of bio mum bringing up the toilet scenario to a judge, it's embarrassing!!
What a crazy saga! First
What a crazy saga! First thing -do you think she's doing it to be a pain or is it possible that something medical or psychological is happening? I'd suggest getting her checked out by her pediatrician and to have her talk to a counselor since it's so bizarre.
Second, I'd have her or DH buy a bucket or a camping toilet. If she wants to be disgusting and have no aim or care, she can pee outside and clean that up every time(warning: this could kill grass so put in some kitty litter). Hopefully it's still a bit cold where you live and she can be just uncomfortable enough to learn a lesson.
Did you take pictures of the
Did you take pictures of the mess? Because little Miss Look At Me Marking My Territory needs some shock and awe.
I think you should use pictures as leverage. SD should be told that either she straightens up and stops her golden shower games, or you share them on fb, IG, SC, and Tic Tok. Hell, send them to BM, too. And before I get flamed for advocating shaming, this is a behavioral middle finger so in my mind, the gloves need to come off.
As a teen, she's well aware this is unacceptable behavior. And because she's a skid, she's already been gently warned in "pretty please with a cherry on top" fashion. So she's chosen to double down and make it a literal pissing contest.
Give her Hell, Cover.
I don't get your DH cause my DH would have had a
my SD back in the bathroom, toothbrush and cleaner in hand , and told SD get cleaning. I will stand here and watch your clean this ENTIRE bathroom. Do this again...the same thing will happen only you be cleaning not only your bathroom but mine as well. Keep it up and we will visit to the Doctor to determine if you either have a mental issue that you are unable to urinate correctly or if you some sort of physical limitation.
Your DH needs to grow a back bone and deal...she will PAS out whether or not he puts his foot down.
Same here. My SS never so
Same here. My SS never so much as left the toilet seat up because DH (and BM too, I assume) had him well-trained to not act like a wild animal in the bathroom.
He'd have rued the day DH or I found a puddle of piss on the floor/seat.
Neither did GWR or my son
GWR tried the leaving the seat up one too many times.. DH took the toliet seat off and made GWR use the toliet without it. Needless to say GWR did not like cold ass water hitting his ass and we never had an issue after that. Gotta say my DH was BRUTAL about cleanliness and manners.
Ok so she is doing it on
Ok so she is doing it on purpose at this point. Now that some PAS issues are coming out.. is this one of the reasons she is going to use to not come to your house anymore? Sounds like she's purposely trying to piss you off. (pun intended)
OMG THEY MADE ME CLEAN MY TOILET!!! How horrible!!
What is up with these dads?
Your husband needs to take her to the bathroom and make her clean that mess up. Every. Single. Time. Had I done something like that as a step kid, I would've initially had the wrath of my dad and stepmother to deal with. They would've both been there making me clean the entire bathroom. Then I would've had to deal with the wrath of my mother when I got home. She wouldn't have tolerated me disrespecting my stepmother. Both parents raised me to respect my elders and they were strict disciplinarians. I was the same with SS. I put the fear of God in him at a very young age with my husband backing me. I had to because he bulldozed every other woman in his life.
Your husband better start putting the fear of God in this child and stop worrying about her not wanting to come over. If her mom is PASing her, that's going to happen regardless. He would at least have some peace while she was still coming over. I might be of the mind that if she can't respect you and your home then she can bloody well stay away and he can see her outside of your home.
If this would ever happen, or
If this would ever happen, or ever did happen, I wouldn't be here.
He's conflict avoidant about EVERYTHING - except if I stand up to "parent."
OK, update:
OK, update:
Apparently he spoke with her when i was on a walk with the neighbor yesterday evening. Of course I didn't hear anything nor did I hear what he said to her. I am sure it was along the lines of, "Please stop, you know there's cleaning stuff on your counter, please, please use them....blah blah blah." And it's been cleaned perfectly.
And still is this morning.
But by g*d I will be following up with zero warning if this ever, ever happens again.
And yes, i will ask her FIRST thing - because we know this will happen again don't we - "Do you do this at BM's home?!" "Do you do this in your friend's homes?!" "Do you do this in public restrooms?!" No pity and no mercy.