does a bear crap in the woods? well, sometimes a SM does!
or the backyard, to be precise.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to discover that some mysterious bandit had apparently broken into our house, headed straight for the bathroom, and clogged the one and only toilet we have with a MASSIVE turd that could have come out of a Russian heavyweight!
Poor dude - he must have really had to go if he'd be willing to break into a home, bypass expensive electronics and the very laptop I am typing this on, just to go take a dump. He's also apparently very dangerous because he moves with enough stealth and ninja silence to not awaken either of our very large, very protective dogs!
It could not possibly have been one of the skids, because they said so, so I guess I'll have to call the police in to take evidence in this case of breaking and pooping. Who knows - maybe we have a serial pooper on our hands!
Sigh. All kidding aside, I am not unclogging skid shit from the toilet just because the are too effing lazy to hold the handle down for an extra 5 seconds. I am so over having one bathroom for four people, especially when two of them are lazy as fuck and can't figure out how to flush or lift the toilet seat so as not to pee all over it. They are 12.5 and 9 FFS - toddlers can grasp these concepts so why can't they? Seriously considering doing like the dogs do and heading out to the backyard to do my business.
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Comments
Well, you can always employ
Well, you can always employ my dads method of finding the culprit, if noone owned up to it, everyone was grounded.
Typically the culprit was then easy to find as the truly innocent party(s) would go the heck off on them and rag them until they confessed.
My dad used to do that
My dad used to do that too.... I remember one very long day of trying to figure out who used the nail clippers last and didn't put them away. I was probably about 5 years old, still got punished because no one would fess up to it. Pretty sure I didn't randomly clip my nails at age 5.
This made me laugh because my
This made me laugh because my niece has had a thing about clipping her toenails since she was 3. I couldn't believe it the first time I saw her doing it, I just knew she was going to clip some skin but she did a fine job! She's 10 now and still cannot stand to have her toenails the slightest bit long.
Yep, we often have mystery
Yep, we often have mystery shits in our house. A shit sitting in the toilet with no toilet paper....and of coarse both kids swear that they haven't even used the bathroom that day. Obviously its wasn't it wasn't me or dh.....and size proves that it wasn't bs4. Hell they even tried to pin it on BS when he was an infant.....that he must ha e crawled into the bathroom taken off his diaper...climbed on the toilet pooped a massive turd, put back on his diaper and resnapped his onsie.
All to avoid just flushed the toilet.
wow your BS has mad skills
wow your BS has mad skills lol! child pooping prodigy!
FDH just said we're going to hide the toilet paper and THEY can go crap in the yard like the dogs! bwahahaha! I know he was just kidding but I hope he can find a creative way to deal with this. I am really sick of it - wouldn't be so annoyed if either of them had just fessed up and attempted to deal with it. FDH said when he was skid1's age, his stepdad banned him from pooping in the house for a month because he never dealt with his clogs. He had to trek to the gas station to do his business :jawdrop: A bit harsh, but it got the point across lol!
EWW! SS14 used to clog the
EWW! SS14 used to clog the toilets here on a regular basis. I could not comprehend the size of the poops that came out of that kid.
Now I have my own bathroom and DH shares with the skids (used to be me sharing) so DH has to deal with clogs. LOL! I don't care if SS clogs the toilet daily! DH is the dumbass who won't make SS deal with it himself! :sick: