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P*ss on the Toilet Seat, Part II

Cover1W's picture

This is the link about the earlier issue whic I though resolved it:  https://www.steptalk.org/blog/cover1w/pss-toilet-seat-264951

NOPE

 

So I had 5 min to use the bathroom and get lunch before a meeting today. Being in my office at the furthest location from our master bath, I tried to use the downstairs bathroom (basically SDs bathroom but we all use it sometimes).  NOPE.

Pee all over the seat, not a little, full on pee splatter.  What. THE. EFF. 

After DH gets out of his meeting I let him know HE handles this issue NOW because it is beyond me to a PARENT issue and is NOT acceptable in this house whatsoever. Pointed out to him it must be all over fhe floor too.

Since then, YSD has used the bathroom again. MORE pee on the seat.  I'm 100% certain she's peeing while standing up at this point.

DH has not addressed it yet and it's been almost an hour and a half.

He's either going to ignore it, deal with it too late at dinner, not make her clean it up (my guess in any scenario), and I'm seriously considering a hotel for a night or two on my own if this gets ignored.

FFS!!!!!!

Comments

Evil4's picture

I vote for the hotel room for at least two nights, including spa time, bought beauty products from the hotel and all on your DH's credit card. Oh, and don't forget the new fluffy poofy posh bathrobe that costs $150. Tell your DH it's the least he owes you for having to live with piss that isn't yours. 

yougotthis's picture

Gross! DH should be telling her to clean that up asap. My DH always does. His boys always piss everywhere and leave the seat up and he makes them go in and clean it up/close it everytime. Come on DH!

futurobrillante99's picture

My adult FORMER stepsons would piss on the seat. We shared ONE bathroom.

XH2 was not a good parent and it was a persistent problem. 
 

One day, I was home early from work and one skid was there - Mr. Surly. He pissed all over the seat - bathroom was right outside my bedroom. 
 

As soon as his dad pulled in the driveway, he ran and cleaned it up. 
 

That's some passive aggressive crap right there. 
 

He purposely did that. 

MissK03's picture

It baffles me how she is peeing all over the seat...  why isn't she sitting down? Makes zero sense. 

Cover1W's picture

UPDATE:  it's been almost three hours since I discovered it. She's used the bathroom 2x. STILL there with more added on.

DH has said nothing and now is at the grocery store.

I'm livid at this point.

If this was my issue - and I so want to deal with this but I refuse - she'd be in there like I did last time, march her in and make sure she cleans it immediately.

I mean, DH must not mind pee on the seat so I see this happening in our bathroom if this isn't addressed.

IDontCare3117's picture

That's going on in your house, though.  Get DH and SD, march them both to the bathroom, and tell them it is to be cleaned IMMEDIATELY.  It's disgusting and unhygienic.  If either one complains, hand over a bucket and tell that person that's their new bathroom, and it's used outside ... along with all other farm animals.  

Cover1W's picture

Yeah, you see, I've been there done that and it does not work - EVER and backfires on me.

I am waiting for this evening to see what happens. If nothing, he's lost even more support from me and I'm getting the house cleaner here COVID or not and that's 100% on him.

IDontCare3117's picture

Apparently, your DH doesn't mind living in literal shit, then.  Pull out the commode so nothing is left but a hole in the ground, and give them the option of the bucket.  DH will figure it out when he has to take out buckets of human waste.  I'm not joking about this, either.

Cover1W's picture

Contemplating this....I could seal down the seat.  Then here's your bucket, cloth and sponge. Less water to pay for. Use the bucket in the tub and it cleans up every three days.

Maxwell09's picture

I just want to throw it out there that this is a BOY (and sometimes even MAN) thing and not specifically a stepchild issue. My five year old is driving me up the wall with the pee and the nine year old isn't much better. My husband uses his own bathroom because he lacks self awareness when it comes to cleanliness. 

Floral_SM's picture

Omg. I would be telling SD she can go outside and pee on the lawn with the dog if she pees like that! How frustrating your H doesn't do anything! I'd be so bloody pissed off. I hit the roof when SD refuses to use toilet paper and doesn't flush the toilet. Is it that hard to wipe and flush?? And in your case you pee inside the damn toilet? God. 

Cover1W's picture

Oh yeah been there too.  AND she's not using TP at this point either - I checked, nothing's been used today (I can tell by the loose TP hanging off the roll in a particular way - it's not been touched).  No handwashing either.

 

tog redux's picture

DH never pees on the seat or floor and SS never did either.  How does a girl get pee on the seat? I'm mystified.

 

 

IDontCare3117's picture

She's either intentionally doing it, or she's stand up to pee.  No matter what, I don't see the why or the how.  

Cover1W's picture

I think she's standing up - she's wierd.  Both my SDs are weird.

I wouldn't care if she does but pee everywhere is NOT ok in ANY WAY.

Also - she's not requied to clean a darn thing in the house, ever. So there's that.

Winterglow's picture

"Also - she's not requied to clean a darn thing in the house, ever. "

Why the heck not? Everyone should clean up after themselves (at the very least) and that's a lesson that should have been learned YEARS ago! Does your DuH imagine that a good fairy sweeps in and waves her magic want for it all to go away? Doesn't he understand that his daughter's anti-social behaviour will make her an outcast? Peeing on toilet seats at work will put a target on her back. By not wiping, she is going to stink! Who wants to be around someone who reeks? Dammit, it's time he started parenting!

tog redux's picture

Public - but I assume you sit in your own bathroom? lol.

I can't imagine what would drive a female to stand to pee unless she's hiking and has one of those pee funnels to let women pee outside. Frankly I don't understand why men stand to pee in their own bathrooms.

futurobrillante99's picture

Duh! LOL

I have a pee funnel for hiking! Biggrin It works.

Cover1W's picture

Tog - the gender identitly thing has crossed my mind before. Both SDs have odd sexuality issues and just don't have similar peer milestones or interest in any of it.  Maybe OSD has dated (??) but who knows.  We do know she still "identifies" as bi-sexual but really focuses on lesbian. I think BM is a lesbian or a-sexual. YSD is just....nothing. No crushes, no interest, nothing. She is extremely body-sensitive and wore a t-shirt and shorts this summer for swimming rather than a swimsuit. She will wear nothing but sneakers, leggings and a sweatshirt or t-shrt. So this has crossed my mind.

I'm seriously just waiting for her to cut off all her hair - she has gorgeous long hair.

tog redux's picture

I think it's a gender identity thing. So do what you'd do for a male stepchild who peed on the floor - hand her the cleaning supplies and tell her to clean her piss off the seat and floor and be more careful with her aim next time.

Cover1W's picture

I think I'll ask DH to reimburse me for 1/2 of the bathroom rennovation cost (finished in September) since the bathroom is treated like a squalid dumping ground (towels and hair everywhere too).  Why did we bother making it nice if people are not treating it as a nice place to be?  And he wonders why I never take baths???

Going to do some yoga now - and am planning on eating dinner separately from gross people.

AlmostGone83's picture

A big framed sign hung on the wall that says "SD: (and be sure to use her full name) if you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie"

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I'm sorry but 15 and doing that, something is definitely wrong with that child. 

I was just thinking about this today. Why is it that SKs are so delayed in thier social/ emotional development. What causes this? 

halo1998's picture

that and not plunging the toilet when he clogged it up (that was an every day occurance). 

I am lucky because DH was more skeeved out about it than I was...GWR peed on the floor one too many times and DH introduced him to Navy latrine cleaning...aka...he grabbed GWR's toothbrush, a bucket of water and bathroom cleaner and told him to clean the ENTIRE bathroom with his toothbrush. An no he would not get a new toothbrush..it was just be sanitzed afterward.    DH then proceeded to stand there and watch GWR clean the bathroom for HOURS. 

I will say this did deter GWR from peeing everywhere at our house ever again. Beaver's is another story..he pees in bottles there according to SD.

Cover1W's picture

UPDATE:

Had serious discussion with DH yesterday. Turns out he had a difficult therapy session and his work was very busy (he can get a call to work on something anytime between 6 am - 10 pm.  He made dinner, had it alone with YSD. I stayed in the bedroom because I was going to unleash hell and from experience that is not the way I get this sh*t dealt with with DH. He said nothing to YSD.

So when we talked, I told him the reason I skipped dinner with them and said that it's completely unacceptable to have that happen anywhere, esp. in our own home and I would NOT tolerate it. I told him I was so angry and disgusted I couldn't be in the same room with her, or him. He agreed and said he was upset too (but he HAD NOT SEEN IT YET).  He said he was going to clean it up (I reminded him it was the WHOLE toilet and surrounding floor, not just the seat) and have a very hard talk with her about it.

OK then, when?  No idea., soon.

I told him that if he cleans it up the BOTH of us will be checking on that bathroom after she uses it, ever single freaking time, like she's five or something.

He agreed.

And you better bet I will unleash hell on wheels if he doesn't talk with her today.

....I just checked - Dh cleaned it last night. And this morning - MORE PISS.

acef92's picture

Im just SPECHLESS, how tf in the world a 15 year old girl will piss over the toilet and the floor, are you serious? I think she is doing that on purpose and she is enyoing it, seriously and WHY is he cleaning her mess if he can take over this situation? I just can't believe this. Get her some diappers and tell her she can't use the bathroom anymore lol

Cover1W's picture

Trust me, my SDs are very very STRANGE.

My sister (who has a daughter OSD's age and who is awesome) shakes her head a LOT at my descriptions. My neighbor used to try to defend SDs (she has two well adjusted grown daughters) now she's often just speechless when I describe stuff.

I'm dealing with it the way I know how and how I can manage the situation behind the scenes.  I've been in this for at least 8 years now so I know how these people work.

If this was the master bathroom (as happened last time) I would not be so disengaged, i'd be right up in YSDs face immediately. However, DH knows he has a timeline as I've told him his cleaning job is covered in p*ss again.

futurobrillante99's picture

I would not have it. I would say something or put a lock on the bathroom door and tell her she has to come get the key from you to use it. Then, if she doesn't clean it up, she doesn't get the key next time and can go pee in the yard like an animal.

OMG - that's strange. I wonder if she's afraid something in the toilet will bite her if she sits down. I used to have that fear as a child. My little sister was afraid of black toilet seats like you'd see in older buildings. She'd pee her pants before she'd sit on one.

Cover1W's picture

I know - I was looking into that last night but unfortunately work from home means all my stuff I need is HERE at the house and it's hard to just pick up and go; it's way too busy at work to not have ALL my work needed things with me.

AND there's a huge storm coming and I'm not prepared to be literally stuck in the hotel for three days due to snow; and my cats need daily medication.

If I could do it for one night I would. But timiing is WAY off - I think my active avoidance of YSD is good for now.

Survivingstephell's picture

She's doing it on purpose. She found your weak point and is exploiting it for fun and drama.  Time to outsmart this brat.  I do believe that letting that piss sit around will ruin any renovations and bring down house values that it will have to be redone before selling.  That right there should pointed out to daddy dumba$$.  Your house must stink and if it doesn't I'd complain that it does. There is no way I would keep silent,  I just couldn't.  I sit them both down, call her on it and lay out your new boundaries and consequences surrounding this problem.  Make them too expensive for DH to ignore , financially and emotionally.  She's acting like a toddler so I'd probably treat her like one.   
Sounds like you have two people who forgot you live there.  Remind them. IMO 

Evil4's picture

Everything that Survivingstephell suggested plus telling them both that SD must see a doctor soon as there is something clearly wrong with her. Perhaps the doctor can refer her for a pysch eval. And yes, I would be so damn mad that I would say that. I'd also go get DH each and every time I check the can and find piss and hand him the spray bottle and rags and tell him it's time to clean up his precious' piss. If he's sleeping, wake him up. If he's eating, take his plate. The piss must be cleaned right now or it'll cause damage. Piss literally eats through stuff, so it can't wait to be cleaned. I'd also make DH pay you back for your half of the cost of the renos and he must pay 100% of the cleaning services. If SD can't figure out how to piss, it's time for consequences. Take her door off the hinges, take all of her stuff and issue only the basics. She must go a certain amount of time without leaving her piss behind before she earns one item back at a time. Then tell both DH and SD that you're into progressive discipline so if none of that works, it'll be time to post pics all over social media and to every family member asking advice on how to toilet train a teenager and her weak-ass father. 

Who the hell do they think they are to think for one second that you should have to live with them like that? Perhaps it's time to use their favourite articles of clothing or pillows to wipe up the precious piss. 

1dad4kids's picture

Evil4 I would absolutely do the social media embarrassment for a 15 year old. Tag her in it and call out DH saying he doesn't want to parent her properly. 

Ask advice on toilet training a teenager and recommendations for a good divorce lawyer. Hopefully that gets attention. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Surviving and evil are right - this is likely intentional. Or perhaps she's got an interest in Golden Showers? Regardless, no way would I let a teenager win.

TAKE PICTURES. Revealing, disgusting photos. Send them in a group text to your DH and SD, and post them on social media. You can couch is as "My 15 yo SD Araminta has a problem with urinating and missing the toilet. Any other parents have kids with this issue? I'm worried for her." Tag your DH and SD.

Be savage and put that ridiculousness on public display.

Cover1W's picture

ok, I am listening Survival/Evil....I am listening.

And if it's not cleaned up for the 2nd time after lunch I will drag DH out of his stupor to YSDs room and make sure it's taken care of.

FYI:  YES I took pictures yesterday.

tog redux's picture

Have DH buy her a pee funnel and put it in the bathroom. If she's doing it for gender issues, maybe she'll use it and problem solved (except she'll leave the nasty thing sitting there).

1dad4kids's picture

I don't know what I would do. DH taught SS11 to clean up after himself whenever he used the bathroom. One time about 5 years ago, we were camping and DH went into the public bathroom after SS11 and he had left pee on the seat. DH yelled across the entire campground for SS11 to come clean the pee off the seat. Then he missed out on ice cream when we went. There hasn't been an incident since. 

I think if my daughter was trying to pee standing up, I'd ask her about it and make her clean it up. I think the fact that it's been hours and hasn't been addressed is an asshole move from your DH and I would DEFINITELY be getting out of the house for a spa weekend on his dime where people get fired if there's pee on the seat. 

tog redux's picture

Same with my SS - I don't remember him ever missing the bowl or leaving pee on the seat.  He never even left the seat up. He was well-trained.

Cover1W's picture

So i decided to talk with DH's sister - no worries, she's AWESOME and she's like my own sister. She also has a BM from Hell (she puts some of yours to shame), one wild (drugs, stealing, truancy, arrest record, you name it...)SSteen and one very difficult younger SD. PAS is also strong for her skids. So she GETS IT. And she knows DH very well obviously, they are close but she's no snitch.

So she and I agreed because DH is currently living in fear of PAS, of me (obvs), and of confrontation, AND he's working on a tough deadline for work I'm giving him until end of day today. THEN I will address it no more waiting - it's not something to be drug out. While it's certainly been drug out already, there is a deadline that I will not tolerate being extended.