Sd22 Feral Forger
She texted DH last night. Just a quick little thing. My anxiety went up. Shes in school (no details), and the Grateful Dead remnants are heading to our little town. So she wants to re-engage with daddy-cakes. At least no nasty texting.
And nothing about me. So, I know it makes him happy to have some contact, but it definitely makes all the bad emotions come rushing in. Im trying to let it all go, and telling others "try not to think about it" is a case of do as I say and not as I do.
Have a great weekend folks.
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My OSD is in and out too. She
My OSD is in and out too. She is in now. Who knows for how long. She is civil at the moment. Don't know if it will last.
As long as SD isn't banging on your door I'd not let it bother me. If she wants to reconnect dad could see her for lunch somewhere
I am not sure why something in her texts has to be about you?
My DD is not troubled and has good relationship with my DH but she isn't mentioning him in texts unless it's his birthday or he was sick and she wants to know if he us better. Otherwise we wouldn't expect DD mentioning him in her texts to me.
I don't think you are realistic in your expectations.
Because she's blamed cLove in
Because she's blamed cLove in the past for taking her Daddio away from her. cLive was just noting that FF didn't text anything nasty or negative about her, as FF has done in the past.
Exactly
Feral Forgers routine. Have an argument, get in trouble, call daddy cakes, do the big Ask, blame Clove for problems.
Well but then this is
Well but then this is progress, if she's not mentioning you with nasty comments, that's a win. Why mention you in texts at all....kwim?
She mentions me
to her father, when she wants to make him feel bad about being with me. So yes, her texting and interacting in any way that is positive is progress. No sperm donor comments is progress.
I had to google kwim, lol. Im that old.
Yes
Kwim
I had to look it up too LOL
Not about me
I have her blocked. She sent me some nasty texts last September, then nasty texts to DH a few months ago "your not my dad your just a sperm donor, you chose CLove over your own daughter, and CLove has abused me" etc. Not too long ago. So no I do not expect her to text anything about me, Im grateful for her not mentioning me at all.
Shes tried to ask to move in with us several times, so now shes moved about 3 hours north of us, and Im grateful for that. But it never seems to "stick" because shes so difficult to live with (stealing, dirty, rude).
Im trying not to think about it, definitely.
I encourage his relationship, only because it makes him happy. I just get a sick feeling in my stomach.
Ahh the dreaded reunion
As much as we may want our DH's to reunite with their precious spawn, there is always the memories on just how wonderful, NOT, it is. The drama, the complaining about the evil SM, oh and of course the money they always need.
Clove darling, keep yourself busy, try to focus on what brings you joy.
I so get this. Bittersweet yucky memories.
Nothing positive
I have zero positive memories except for the lunch I bought her.
It won't last
At some point she'll ask daddy for something and he'll say no. At which point the nasty will be back.
Routine
Its an expected routine. Hopefuly this move "sticks" - praying it sticks.
What would he do if she asked
What would he do if she asked for money? And would he be honest with you about it?
Hed give her a small amount
He woud help her out and maaaaaaybe tell me, in passing.
If he gives her money her
If he gives her money her demands will escalate until it becomes unsustainable. My worry is him keeping secrets.
I call them...
"Lies by Omission".
Hes a secretive person. Probably why Ive become super-sleuth on everything. And - yeah, she always escalates things, in her high drama way.
Oh I see about not mentioning
Oh I see about not mentioning you in a bad light. I misunderstood that you are upset she isn't mentioning you in general, its a good thing nothung is said about you
My previous advice stands. Therapy. Get busy. Don't have too much idle time to agonize over them. They live their lives, you live yours.
And I'd not encourage or discourage their relationship. I'd stay out of it. It's their relationship, they can figure it out. Just nod and go get busy
Feels false
Yes, it feels false when I try to be "encouraging". LOL.
Ive been VERY busy! And things are much better between us lately.
When living in dysfunction,
When living in dysfunction, there is no "nice visit." It sucks that there's always a crisis or drama, demands, stress, etc.
Grows up
I hoping her moving away and being away from her parents will make it possible to have a good relationship. For me, I hope I never see her again.
I still get anxiety when SS22
I still get anxiety when SS22 messages DSO, every. single. time. At least he has stopped the sleepovers finally but I still can feel my heart pounding.
Im not alone
And you are not alone in this! Yes, SD22 Feral Forger is a mean nasty person whos done nothing positive in my life, only negative. The best I can hope for is DH has a positive and distant relationship.
I can completely relate to
I can completely relate to your anxiety going up when SD texts!!! I always have to wait and see if her plans are changing, or worse if they are going to fall through. Like tonight she is going to a basketball game with some classmates. Until she is out the door I won't be able to relax and enjoy my evening!
Clink
Im going to have a chilled glass of wine when I get home...
The minute the phone rings....
Every single time one of our phones ring, I worry it might be SD60. Why? Because whenever she calls, she needs something whether money (usually), a favor (a ride, or to fix something) or an ear where she can dump out all her current lies and issues. I can't remember her ever calling to ask how her 84yo dad is doing, or how he's coping with the snowstorm or anything that is not related to her needs. Her calls mean an outlay from us, money, gas, time, effort, or discussions that often turn unpleasant.