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Holiday Plans - Question - what are yours?

CLove's picture

Dh has a HUGE family, with some new babies and old folks.

They are planning on getting together for Christmas (I am on the family text thread).

Part of the discussion is the process of getting tested, where and free sites, etc. 

My family, Ive been keeping away from. Completely. So it doesnt seem fair that I stay away from my family, and DH might go see all his family (with or without me it doesnt matter, the exposure is still there). So I am a bit torn. Ive been not doing anything and not seeing anyone and its been really really hard. DH has been a bit more social. I know its super hard for him - he is much more social and involved with his family than I am.

Oh and our house was offered as a place to host lol. I dont think anyone has told Feral Forger that we own the house she grew up in (and trashed) yet, and I havent heard anything on the text from her about attending.

Im wondering what everyone else is doing about these holiday family plans?

Edited to add:

And on top of the COVID illness stress, every darn year that I have been going to these Christmas gatherings, there is always the invoting of Toxic Troll. Dh's elderly mother. during her times of being sort of out of it, would ask her grandkids, my skids, to call "their mother so she could invite her..." And she was 90-96, and known for being very welcoming to everyone, and did not know what happened to her sons marriage and all the abuse. DH never told his mother. I think in all that time here on Steptalk I never mentioned that funfact...

Comments

JRI's picture

I plan to use covid as extensively as I possibly can to avoid anything I dont want to do!   Lol.

CLove's picture

If shes invited again, I am considering a COVID disappearance.

justmakingthebest's picture

For Thanksgiving my MIL in flying in. SS20, my 2 bios, my brother and his new wife will be with us as well.

For Christmas my SS16 will be in town (if he gets on the plane this time), my brother, SIL, Sister, BIL will all be over our house along with my 2 bios and SS20. 

My mom is undergoing Chemo right now so that is the only reason that my parents won't be at both celebrations. We will be doing a big video conference with them and I am dropping off all the food to their house so they don't have to worry about cooking.

We are all careful and take as many procautions as we can. But if my mom's cancer has shown us anything it is that life is short and you should spend time with people you love. 

CLove's picture

Thats why I am up in the air on things...

Winterglow's picture

Where I live, the main vector for infection is small family and friends get togethers... Just sayin

CLove's picture

The new "super spreader" events.

Here too.

advice.only2's picture

I guess the question is do you feel comfortable having everybody over? If you do then have them over and enjoy.

CLove's picture

Mostly because we havent really done any restorations...except to paint the house. Its pretty old. The other option was his mothers house, who passed this year.

Merry's picture

DH thinks we're going to Skidville (800 mile trip)  for Christmas, as we almost always do. My DD lives within a couple of hours of skids, so we see her too. Normally, I dread the trip. Add a pandemic, and I really don't want to go.

Skids and DD do take the virus seriously -- stay home, wear masks, etc. Still we've got to travel--public restrooms, hotel nights, etc.

So, I dunno what we'll end up doing. Ignoring for now. 

CLove's picture

My brother and SIL and niece and nephew live 2.5 hours away. There would be hotels involved. DH's family has the added benefit of all being very close by within 10-20 mins.

Feral Forger is north of us around the location of my brother.

Cover1W's picture

Most all our families live long flights away and the only ones who don't are a looooong drive in potentially bad weather and with COVID it's not possible as they are both high risk.

We don't have and skids over Thanksgiving ever so I take that entire week off. Xmas we'll only have YSD as OSD refuses to acknowledge our presence.  I hope DH wises up and sends no presents as a result....

We'll have a lovely romatic gourmet dinner to ourselves on Thanksgiving.

CLove's picture

ALthough to us, romantic is him watching tv in mancave while I netflix and come in and visit for a few moments...

Travel at this time is not going to happen...

Aunt Agatha's picture

All my fiancé has are his kids and me left.  I've not seen my 80+ YO parents who are a long drive or a shortish flight away.  But after talking it over with my sister who is a pediatric nurse and my BIL who is a critical care nurse, we are waiting until the spring and hopefully the vaccine.  
 

So romantic Thanksgiving it is (as skids always go to BMs family, which is fine with us!)

CLove's picture

Romance and the smell of turkey is in the air!

thinker's picture

From the looks and sound of things, COVID shutdowns will prevent the skids' annual journey here over winter break.  The silver lining for me has been almost a full year of peace, other than a short summer interruption.  I will actually enjoy my holidays this year.  And we have saved SO much money not having to travel back and forth to see them or fund all their travels to see us.  For all that I've given up (I so miss happy hours, live music, international travel, etc.), I now know with certainty that I'd trade it all for emotional and financial peace.  Things can't go back to the way the were before... 

CLove's picture

We so miss our social and musical activities!

But we have saved a lot of moola, too. 

Wow, nice that you can save up for vacation instead of spending on someone elses travel.

caninelover's picture

So happy I disengaged from crazy nacissistic SD23. 

Going to have a small Friendsgiving in Napa at their timeshare with a kitchen.  This couple has been in our COVID circle, and I specifically told SO that his SD was not invited (lives nearby in SF).  SD did fish around for an invite but he said no room at the inn, and he is spending Thanksgiving day with me and friends and will seperate the day after to see SD. 

So SD will spend Thanksgiving with SO's sister (also nearby) as that was the only option SD had - no friends or other close family (SD does not speak to BM and siblings don't speak to SD).  I'm sure SD is disasppointed at not being able to spin more drama but we certainly won't miss it!

Christmas I am spending the week in Santa Fe with a close girlfriend (also been in my COVID circle, works from home, doesn't go out except with us).  I told SO he is free to host the toxic SD if he wants but I want SD gone by the time I return before New Year's.

CLove's picture

Love love love it.

I am itching to travel because for me its a 4-day weekend...so your plans sound lik eheaven.
I JUST found out that Feral Forger plans on visiting her mother the day after TG, bringing a "friend" (of course because no license to drive and no car...) I just wonder what Dh will do...

caninelover's picture

Just keep Feral Forger away from you, drink lots of wine, and imagine you're in Napa with us Smile

thiscantbenormal's picture

I plan on holding my ground on not going to the inlaws. I hear enough stupid comments from my mom so I dont need it tenfold at his family's house. Last Xmas, gmil said DH shouldn't have had more children (our daughter) so his other kids could be there instead.  I dont want to hear anymore about this long drawn out court issue, about BM, and the nutty *ss skids, and what a shame it is they divorced.  And right now they are catering to a drug addict family member that burglarized there house a few months ago. So, no thank you.  The waitress at cracker barrel engages with me more socially than what I get at the inlaws so I'm down with having my holiday meal at CB.

CLove's picture

Im so sorry you have to deal with that!!!!

what a toxic jerk she is!!!!

TheAccidentalSM's picture

But I won't be visiting family at Christmas for the first time in forever.  My partents are divorced so I normally see them on seperate days.  My dad has comprimised lungs from scarlet fever when he was a kid.  My mom has an autoimmune disease (that might be inheritable, what fun).  There is no way it is would be a good idea to hop on an international flight just to see them for a couple of hours each.

We'll do something over zoom.

CLove's picture

right now, if that means that I can SEE my loved ones and protect them at the same time.