4th of July and PLANS
Well, this past weekend ended up strangely and now I have a cough.
I tend to pack in the weekends with go-with-the-flow plans, but I am also wanting to take some earned vacation time as well. SD15 Backstabber/Munchkin was with us for the week (Wednesday to Wednesday ugh. Explanation - she wanted it changed and the parents agreed because of distance learning, ROTC and the difficulties surrounding turning her camera on for extra credit when at Toxic Trolls apartment)
Our weekend went as follows:
Saturday: A car show, then an art opening. Saw friends and made introductions. Artists, musicians, friends. SD15 B/M kind of stayed in the background smiled and waved. Lunch, then walking around our tourist town. DH was sick with something, so I walked around with SD B/M so she could "see things". When asked if she bought anything, she stated she had not thought to bring her money ( gift card my mother had sent and some $$ from relatives) DH mentioned that he could have repayed me, and I could have financed things, and I answered that she didnt seem particularly interested in anything so I did not offer that. I think shes getting it that Im not going to be paying for things from now on.
Then later, we dropped by a popular music space, saw a friend of DH. Now this friend lives up north and has large properties including cabins in forests near rivers. Has been inviting DH for YEARS. DH doesnt take vacations or trips, just weekend excursions. So now that we are focused on doing things, I have it in my mind to approach this friend. I asked "so do we have an open invitation to visit?" (not knowing that accomdations would be provided FREE). The answer was a resounding YES. So, excited about this, I mentioned it to DH, and SD15 B/M, who was also excited to do something fun. I mentioned that it was kind of tough keeping track because instead of Sunday to Sunday, visitation went Wed to wed. I asked if there was consideration on changing it anytime soon...she agreed it was kind of tough keeping track.
So, we went on about calendaring and decided that the next to last weekend in July would be a good time because it was before school started (she doesnt know exactly when that is, just sort of around first week of August) and during a time that I thought would be our visitation. She insisted her mother was "always flexible", but I let her know that its just easier to track. Did I hit a little hard about the schedule being sucky? Maybe.
So, NOW, I am giving up 2 vacation days for the purpose of a trip that includes skid. Im already regretting it, especially after she asked "will I have internet for my music ?" Meaning her friend Kansas City. And Ill be spending Thur-Sunday with her.
Well the conversation unfortunately came out about 4th of July. She started arguing about it being a "holiday, like Christmas and Thanksgiving". I argued back that that was her mothers weekend, and there were no official events, no family gatherings (which she has had over 10 years of HUGE family gatherings for holidays so she is certainly not a deprived child) and that we were going to my friends house party, adults. After arguing back and forth about it, we just left it at "well, there is nothing really legal about fireworks right now, we will be sitting in the front yard watching them happen unofficially in the streets". Pouty mcPouterson came out "you guys are ALWAYS doing adult things..." And Im like "RIGHT. I have no bio kids of my own to organise things for...so why would I not do adult things?" LOL. That was unplanned but hey a good point. Meaning - yeah - why would I go out of my way for YOU? I should have just kept quiet about 4th of July plans.
Sunday: DH went fishing with friends, and I went to a fun afternoon-into evening party alone with friends. Did not invite SD15 B/M to anything. Its freeing but sad...but still really good to let her know that "buh bye YOU do not get to go to fun things with me anymore".
Also Ive stopped talking through her bedroom door even for small things, she has to get off her butt, and open the door and speak face to face, because of her "harrassing through the bedroom door" accusations.