Filthy lazy hag. Fungus update
2 Sundays ago Stepmom to the rescue discovers raging fungus on 13 year old autistic boy. Original thread here. http://www.steptalk.org/node/210213
Medicine was supposed to be put on him 3 times a day for 2 full weeks. We did this religiously at our house and bought latex gloves for ourselves to administer it to him. We also put 2 doses on him when we had him 1/2 days cuz we were both very suspicious of BM's follow through. But even knowing her I figured surely she'll put fungus medication on the boy? Surely?
Well, it's been 10 days on that medication. DH skipped Tuesday visit because BM's grieving widowed dad is in town, she wants the kids to see Grampa rather than dad that night. That was A-OK with us.
DH calls bm this morning to make sure she puts the medicine in SS13's backpack because it's my day to pick him up from school. I can tell, though I can't hear, that she's resistant for some reason but in the end he prevailed. She also avowed to him that she put it on him this morning before school.
So I pick up the boy. Immediately I can still see ringworm between his fingers. It's better, but with only 4 days left to go on the medicine it should be invisible by now. Cue the Gong of Doom. But I said nothing.
Driving home I start telling the child what our sked will be when we get home. It helps him with transitions. When I say "then we'll put on the medicine," I get an immediate freakout reaction from him.
SS13: "Mom told me I'm done with the medicine!!!!"
CGU: "Oh, that can't be. You have 2 full weeks on it."
SS13: "What?! Mom tricked me!" (this is a phrase he uses when he's trying to reconcile inconsistent info)
CGU: "No, no, not that. You simply misunderstood her."
He wants to keep talking about it and we do. Eventually I say, "you had some this morning, didn't you?" "No."
CGU: "Last night?"
SS13: "No."
CGU: "When was the last time you had any put on?"
SS13: (without a moment's hesitation) "Sunday."
In other words, at our house. She not only hasn't put any on the entire week, she told a direct lie to DH that she'd put some on this morning before he called her.
BTW, she also told DH her dad couldn't do the outing she previously planned with him because at 75 he's now "too frail." So she's been exposing her frail and grieving dad to ringworm all week. Willy nilly. Fa la la di dah.
The truth is her dad is more fit than she is. It is she herself who doesn't want to do the outing because she never wants to do anything at all. And she doesn't care who gets ringworm. She's too busy being lazy and telling lies to care.
So, friends, what do we do about the case of the non-compliant BM on ringworm medication? I'd like to hear your ideas. Please fix this for me. I'd like to show DH your brilliant solutions. Thanks in advance.
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Haha! I believe it's Sally,
Haha! I believe it's Sally, isn't it? That is a funny image!
That's a thought. I will definitely share it with DH.
As for confused, damn straight. No one in the history of the world has ever been able to figure that woman out. Not me, not MIL, not DH himself.
Oh, ha! Dh also just suggested to me on the phone maybe we should make sure SHE gets the ringworm. Have ss13 rub his hands all over something that she'll have to touch. Then maybe she'll take it seriously!
Well, we could put my sd15
Well, we could put my sd15 and your Fungus together and lock them in a room somewhere. My feeling is there would be no "winner." They would successfully cancel each other out and both our problems would be solved.
Oooorrrrr.....so much horror in one room would start the apocalypse. Yeah, that's probably what would happen. What a horror story, both of them in my house. I need a fainting couch now.
I thought the exact same
I thought the exact same thing - so glad it wasn't just me!
I would file for full
I would file for full custody. I'm not sure you want that, but this would certainly be grounds. Or call CPS. Neglecting medical treatment is serious.
I don't know your back story. Why would she do this? Is she mentally impaired? Or does she just spitefully ignore everything you guys ask her to do?
That was my first thought,
That was my first thought, too. Tell DH it's time to get the boy over to our house. I'd be fine with it. I'd be glad of it. Less crazy in my life and more sanity knowing the boy was getting proper care.
DH will want to handle that very carefully, though. He's very careful how he handles her and with good reason.
Oh, and is she mentally
Oh, and is she mentally impaired? Yes, she has a chronic case of Lazy with an overlay of Narcicissism and a serious Fantastical Thinking infection. Plus she's afflicted with Don't-Care-itism.
He did take pics the first
He did take pics the first day. We'll see if he's ready to pull the trigger on them, though. Thanks for your reply. It's good to get the perspective of how serious this is.
I know! What the heck is
I know! What the heck is wrong with her that she doesn't care about that????? Or about the ringworm being in her house lurking in the corners ready to attack her?!!
Time to go to court.
Time to go to court.
Thanks for your comment. BM
Thanks for your comment. BM is so condescending to DH that it's good for him to understand everyone in else in the dang world can see it is SHE who is the trainwreck.
OH! That's a good one! Maybe
OH! That's a good one! Maybe we can try that tonight. See if he can put it on himself. Hadn't even thought of that, that's why I knew you gals and lads were just what I needed! Thanks!
DH and I did discuss if we could possibly get him to ask her to put it on, but this is better. Way better. Definitely worth a try!
Get the school nurse to do
Get the school nurse to do it. Put her in touch with his doctor.
We've discussed that, too.
We've discussed that, too. Hadn't thought of getting her in touch with the doc. Good one. Thanks.
This is a great idea and when
This is a great idea and when I read your response to DH he remembered being given this option. But he says he really could not have predicted she'd be this ridiculously neglectful on the ointment. He's figuring out if he should go back for the oral med, thanks. Also, skids are with BM for a rare weekend because the grampa is there. So we don't even have him to get him any meds till sometime next week! BM would have to agree to let us take him --AGAIN--on her time. While her dad is in town.
Stupid hagasaurus. I can't stand her.
UPdate: DH just had SS13 do
UPdate: DH just had SS13 do his own ointment. Kid was a champ! He sang a happy song and rubbed the ointment between each finger like it was a toy. Perfectly content to do it himself. I even took video of the operation.
But making sure he does it 3 times a day is a whole different ball game. We haven't figured that one out. He is barely aware of his phone unless it's currently playing a game or funny video, so calling or texting him 3 times a day to do it is dicey at best. He likely won't notice the messages for days.
At least we have taken away BM's excuse that he won't cooperate. I mean, we don't know that's her excuse but just going on past track record.
In private schools for kids
In private schools for kids with autism where I live they use pagers or phones set to vibrating or buzzing to prompt remotely. You could try that - when the phone buzzes it's time to apply the ointment? Not sure his teachers will appreciate that....I would still get the school nurse involved. You need allies.
That's an interesting idea,
That's an interesting idea, vibrate. I'll pass it along to DH. One of his other major concerns is that if he rings the boy 3 times a day, BM will take it as an indictment of her or trying to control her house so she will retaliate in some way. Sigh.
Yes, if it were up to me I would have had it out with her years ago and I'd drop this pretense of harmony. But this is DH's rodeo. Sadly, he is often right about her.
He IS very frustrated and unhappy tonight. He even was storming around here saying "it's like sending them off to a third world country!" He appreciates the suggestions we got tonight from ST, thanks everybody. He is sure disgusted at her. As are we all!
It IS an indictment of her.
It IS an indictment of her. She's an unfit parent. Neglect is the right word for it. Who cares what she thinks?
My sentiments exactly.
My sentiments exactly. EXACTLY.
You're right. He's out there
You're right. He's out there right now. As of the time he left here to take SS13 back to BM's, he was going to talk to him on the drive over to do it first thing in the morning, then when he gets home from school, then right before he goes to bed.
Then try some form of diplomacy on BM.
How this will all play out remains to be seen.
I told him to sic Grampa on the whole mess. Have SS show off his ringworm to Grampa. Talk about it making sure Grampa hears. Perhaps the woman's own dad will get the heebie jeebies and come down on her and be more effective than we could be. If he knows, just maybe he will.
He decided he would
He decided he would "threaten" her with this. He knows she won't want the school nurse involved apparently because ss gets meltdowny when his routine is disrupted. To me, having your fingers infected is a disruption bigger than all get out. But she doesn't think like I do.
Wow, that sounds awesome. I
Wow, that sounds awesome. I will tell DH about Zedge tonight. Of course he doesn't brush his teeth at his mom's house nor bathe so this has tons of possibilities. Super fantastic, thanks for the tip.