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SO FINALLY stood up to BM2! And I'm hiding in my office

CBCharlotte's picture

BM2 (mother of SS3 and SS5) is a huge bully. She has a massive case of GUS (Golden Uterus Syndrome). SS5 isn't even biologically SO's since she cheater with her first husband (She's on #3 and in her late 30s).

He only gets to talk to the boys maybe 3 times a month because she NEVER picks up the phone. I get that you're busy with young kids, but call back at a more convenient time or send a text saying "We're in the middle of something now, can you call back at 6:30?"

It pisses me off to no end as it is widening the gap in our relationship with the boys even more. We live in NC and BM2 lives in TX. She got engaged 2 months after the divorce, pregnant 2 months after that,, and married 2 months after that. She has NO BUSINESS in our relationship after all of that!

We've been getting more and more angry at her refusal to answer the phone, facetime, etc. We have them over Christmas this year for a week, and she had the nerve to DEMAND that she must have time AT LEAST once a day (preferably more) and call at least once a day. I said to SO "Absolutely not! She is not installing herself into our Christmas.

I flew to TX alone for the first to fly them back and BM2 was PISSED. She sent ALL kinds of nasty texts to SO, but was sugary sweet to me. She knows I will just block her number if she is nasty to me, as I have done it in the past. I did call after the boys were settled on the plane and sent her a picture. She kept pestering through the day to facetime, which I ignored.

Meanwhile, she is sending NASTY texts to SO about how he's an asshole, making all kinds of excuses for not answering his calls etc.
BM2: Let me know when tonight is a good time to facetime. I'll die if I can't see and hear them
SO: I'm still waiting on you to call me back from the last 3 days I tried to talk to the boys
BM2: Was that text meant for me? If it was, you're an asshole. I'm busy when you call. If the text wasn't meant for me, then Merry Christmas.
SO: Of course it was meant for you, you answer my call maybe 1 out of every 15 times. I call all different times of the day and you never answer, never call back. I send videos and texts for the boys and never get a response. I miss my boys very much, just as much as you do when they're away
BM2: FUCK YOU I don't have to answer to you bla bla bla

Meanwhile we are at a restaurant and SD14, who has a weirdly close relationship to BM2 (her former stepmom) was reading over his shoulder trying to read his texts. I alerted SO to this. He was perfectly calm and respectful in all of his texts, and she was on a rant. SD14 and read half of the texts anyway, so SO actually handed her the phone and said "Here, go ahead!"

I tried to stop him but he insisted. He's so sick of BM2 playing games with his daughters (her former stepdaughters) acting like Ms. Sweet and Innocent, pretending it's Daddy who keeps their brothers away. She uses the girls as pawns and it is sickening to me.

SO told her in the texts she could talk to the boys when it is convenient for us and that we were out to dinner and to stop texting. BM2 threatened to call the girls if we wouldn't let her talk to the boys and make them let her. SD14 quietly handed the phone back and finished dinner. BM2 has no idea that SD14 read all of her disgusting words, behavior, etc.

I kind of don't agree with him showing SD14 the texts. I don't believe in involving children in adult problems. However, she WAS snooping and thinks BM2 can do no wrong....it's about time she saw who she really was. BM2 who stole half of her college fund during the divorce. BM2 who went to TX from NC to clear her head "only for 2 weeks I promise" and then moved there to be with her BF and didn't see the girls who she LOVED for nearly 2 years.

Sorry if this is a run on rant. It's day 1 with 4 kids in the house and I'm already hiding in my office. I'm used to SD14 and SD11 EOW but now SS3 and SS4 are wreaking havoc and clogging toilets and waking me up at 6am. This is going to be a long week.....

Comments

CBCharlotte's picture

I should clarify that after the told her how pissed he was about her not responding, he hasn't answered a single text from her

gigiboo's picture

Perfect. I was wondering why he just doesn't give her back exactly what she gives to him. Silence. He can just be busy when she calls to talk to the kids, right?

CBCharlotte's picture

Yup that's what we've been doing! We've been spending time playing and reading books. Mommy hasn't crossed their lips once!

gigiboo's picture

omg. We are in a very similar situation. I've got two Bms in my life and two teenage daughters that are given WAY too much information. I'm totally hiding in my room today after LOSING it with SO last night (I went to take some tylenol for a headache and threw the bottle across the bedroom when he said something that was just too much for me to handle). I'm so embarrassed and it is NOT how I usually react but it's a real sign of me having used all of my resources to handle this situation.

UGH. I don't want to come out of my room today, or tomorrow.

kathc's picture

She's 14, not 4. I think he did do the right thing in handing her the phone and letting her read the text convo. It's not like he said, "Hey, here, see what an asshole your former SM really is!" Your SD was snooping anyway so he just LET her see what she was trying to read. Good. Maybe now she'll stop being "team former SM"!

CBCharlotte's picture

^LOL

Anon2009's picture

"I flew to TX alone for the first to fly them back and BM2 was PISSED."

I think it's nice you went, but recommend not repeating that in the future. It's sos job to handle bm. Could the kids be accompanied by a flight attendant in the future?

Your SO needs to get a parenting plan or court order to deal with bm.