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BM Petitioned for a CS Review & Other Financial News

CastleJJ's picture

Happy Holidays to us... We just received BM's petition for a child support review. Totally in BM fashion to request this right before the holidays to stress us out. And of course, right before SS comes to us for Thanksgiving after 5 months of no visits. 

DH and I are scared to see how this is going to go. While DH isn't making a boatload more than he was previously, he is making about $5000 more per year. Because BM requested it though, it does allow us to factor in DD now, which hopefully helps our case. BM was also stupid enough to send DH an email this week stating that she no longer needs childcare, which would be another reduction. Plus, we were able to indicate that BM is working for Door Dash and doing private practice therapy on top of her job at the hospital, so the courts will have that information now too. Thank you SS for that tidbit of useful information. I really hope for once in our lives, our CS actually goes down. 

In other news, BM sent DH a medical bill for a visit to SS' pediatrician when he was sick last month. BM's insurance must suck because it was $87 out-of-pocket after insurance. When I take DD to the pediatrician when she is sick (which I have had to do so many times in the past few weeks), it is a $20 copay. BM has made it clear to DH that she does not trust him, so in typical distrusting BM fashion, she blacked out the account number on the bill. This account number doesn't pertain to BM's personal or financial information at all, it is just the account number associated with SS' account at the pediatrician's office. Like c'mon BM, way to be petty. BM has told DH pointblank that she doesn't trust him and she has done petty stuff like this over and over again to reiterate that, yet she trusted him enough to get pregnant. Like what is it with these women? So dumb. 

Anyway, please say a prayer or send good vibes for a favorable outcome on our CS review! As much as we would love to believe we will get a reduction, we have learned that child support reviews rarely go in our favor. 


NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

but I can share one of the very best days of my life was child support modification day in court against North Korea.  North Korea, for reasons unknown to me or anyone else in the world, waited until the eldest SD aged out and then petitioned court for a child support review.  He would have just kept paying her $1000 a month plus half of everything out of fear of her but she's greedy and stupid.  Our DD had been born at that point.  So child support was knocked in half and she disagreed so off we went to court and not only was it knocked it half but they retro'd the credit from when she filed and it took six months to get to court.  Younger SD turned 18 in May of year and court was like in March.  So basically she didn't get an increase, Her child supported ended right then and there and she had to pay him.  The courts said here in Florida, a new baby won't make your child support go down, but it is factored in increases.  She argued with the judge and was shut down.  I had the biggest smile on my face.  And she went to court in sweat pants with some word stamped on the back like JUICY.  


So don't lose hope!  

SteppedOut's picture

Does the billing show that insurance has been filed already? That seems like the charge before insurance or copay were paid?

At least the bills from my ped show:


- copay

- insurance payment

= due

CastleJJ's picture

Yes, the bill shows the total amount of the visit which was $250, then what insurance covered/deductibles/copays paid, and then the remaining balance. The remaining balance is $87. That just baffles me that it is that much, but given all of the medical expenses SS has accrued this year and all the bills we have seen, it is obvious by the out-of-pocket expenses that BM's insurance just isn't that good. 

thinkthrice's picture

It hasn't been (pardon the pun) doctored?  I say this because StepDaddyBigBucks used pdf editing software to reverse numbers on the Girhippo's W2 (from $52K a year, her actual salary, to $25K a year).

Copays are typically even numbers such as $20, 30, 50.  

CastleJJ's picture

All the math adds up. The copays are a whole number, then whatever insurance applied, leaving the balance of $87. The statement date and the date it is postmarked for was the same date so I can't imagine BM took the time to photoshop it. 

ESMOD's picture

She probably has a high deductible plan.  I do.. and for us it works out fairly well since we normally don't have a lot of issues.  in her case.. it is likely attractive because the premium she pays monthly is likely lowest.. and even with his many visits.. since your DH is picking up out of pocket cost... (half or full?).. she doesn't have much incentive to go for a plan with more coverage.. (my company I can choose different plans.. some cover more.. but cost more high deduct has an HSA acct.. company funds 1K in it annually plus my contributions are pretax.. and the money rolls over year to year.. so a decent way to manage my costs).

dragonfly878's picture

When we had DD3 we filed for a modification- helped a ton!

We met with a financial advisor to review the forms- best decision we ever made. The advisor made us really think- now we had family insurance with DD, daycare expenses, what my DH was currently paying for SS's insurance, the cost of groceries increases due to formula, our mortgage, etc. 

CastleJJ's picture

In our state, the birth of a new baby does not warrant a child support review, in the sense that DH could not petition for a decrease. But because BM petitioned for an increase, DD's existence will now be a factor in their calculation. I told DH he needs to call the FOC and determine if DD's daycare expenses will be factored since we pay $700 per month for part time daycare. 

dragonfly878's picture

Absolutely they should!!! I'd honestly suggest meeting with a financial advisor... have them review your bills/expenses and then plug in the numbers to the form. It's a huge help!! The cost of your insurance increased, groceries, daycare is a bill... one thing i learned is every little thing counts.

CastleJJ's picture

Our CS review forms don't calculate based on expenses. It only looks at both parties' gross income, the number of overnights per parent, and any additional children aside from the children involved in the case.

dragonfly878's picture

It doesn't consider medical/insurance? God forbid someone had a costly medical condition... that's awful.

CastleJJ's picture

It considers who is covered under DH's insurance plan and his premiums. My DH's insurance plan isn't as good as mine though so I cover DD and myself under my work's plan so it doesn't help us there with CS. SS is covered under BM's insurance. 

dragonfly878's picture

Got it. I wonder what would be cheaper in the long run? Having everyone on your policy or his? Perhaps yours is better but if you end up paying more in CS it could be a wash? 

Where DH works also takes the cost of daycare out of his pay- it's some kind of childcare credit so he lowers his income that way, too

thinkthrice's picture

With CS reviews. 

1.  She  failed to report the OSS emancipation  In hopes that she would keep collecting CS until he turned 21.

2.   When we caught her red handed she was embarrassed and actually admitted a few years later that SD had emancipated, after the fact, of course.

3.   Most recently she tried to get YSS emancipated even though he had not moved out nor had obtained a full time job.   The reason for this became apparent when that year would have meant extra $$$$ in stimulus checks.   Although she had agreed to not claim him the last year that he could be claimed i.e. tax year of 2021,  she went ahead and did it anyway and claimed him as the last FU to us.

 We filed a couple of downward modifications especially when she was no longer using child care.    In the past she had tried to pump up the CS order by claiming her mother was a day care that charged exorbitant amounts and also  successfully sticking Chef with the orthodonture be exact, TWICE  the amount it  actually cost.

The magistrate always tried to reduce it the least amount possible.

Rags's picture

Unless your CO specifically stipulates that DH pay all of Skid medical costs not covered by insurance...  most COs that have been discussed on STalk put half of that on the NCP and half on the CP

That was the case with our CO.  All kid related medical costs after insurance pay out were split between the CP and the NCP. Though the SpermClan never paid a penny of their half.  So, we bill them twice a year with penalties and interest from the IRS payment tables.  They don't pay, theh whine and complain that they are made to feel guilty for being the POS shallow and polluted gene pool that they are.  WHen they reach out to SS to ask him to SS to try to get him to have us stop billing them for what they owe 12 years after he aged out from under the CO, he asks if they owe it. They whine and then hang up.

Get your data ready, pay what DH owes directly to the Doc and not to BM, then peal BM's skin off to bare her ass one very painful fact at a time .... in court.  As the NCP side, you are at a distinct disadvantage, that does not mean you don't use every fact and tool at your disposal to protect yourselves from BM. 

Take care of your family.  Bare BM's ass. In court. You may not win,  but rubbing BM's nose in the stench she generates chould happen. Win or not.

IMHO of course.




CastleJJ's picture

The remaining out of pocket was $87. DH owes 42% of that so he cut BM a check for $37 or whatever it calculated out to. No, DH is not responsible for paying the full amount, only his 42% that the CS order calculated. Our CO requires us to do medical reimbursements. BM pays the bill, she submits the bill to the FOC, the FOC sends a notice to DH with his portion to pay directly to BM. We are not allowed to pay the medical providers directly based on our CO and how the FOC collects payment. 

We are not taking BM back to court. We will see how the CS review pans out and if it is bad, we will consider appealing it. If it is reduced, I'm sure BM will appeal it and we will end up in court anyway. We are not taking BM back to court for anything related to decision making, legal custody, or visitation. We got our asses handed to us due to a BM favoring judge. Been there, done that, cost us $30k to get absolutely nowhere, dont plan on doing that again. 

Rags's picture

Pay the medical practice directly and let BM work out how to either pay her half or get her money back from the medical practice if she has already payed the full amount.

This removes DH from at lease the medical stuff in regards to interfacing with BM.  She can send the statement, DH can pay the Doc.

Keep it simple.

ndc's picture

Her insurance is better than mine! We pay $125 of a $250 bill until we reach our out of pocket maximum (around $8500/person). We couldn't afford a Marketplace plan with only a $20 copay, nor could we begin to afford the premiums for the family plan through DH's work. Health insurance can be a real nightmare.

Good luck with the CS review!

CastleJJ's picture

See that is crazy! I am very very fortunate to have great insurance through my job. My deductible is $500 and my out-of-pocket maximum is $3500. Office visits have a $20 copay and specialists have a $40 copay. I only pay $50 per paycheck for health insurance premiums for DD and I. I am very blessed to work for the company that I do. 

Rags's picture

We always take the low dedictible/low co-pay plan. My maintenance meds would be $3.5K to $5K per month if we had to pay out of pocket. So we do clear any deductibles very quickly each year.

I blame my parents. I inherrited all of the family chronic diseases.   The deal I have with the diety up stairs is that I will deal with all of the family medical issues as long as everyone else does not have to.

So far, that has been the case. Mom and dad are good, my brother and his kids are good (my SIL has had breast cancer though), and my bride and our kid are good. So far.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

And don't understand why these junk insurance policies are allowed to exist. What's the point of having health insurance if you can't afford to use it?

Rags's picture

DW filed for a CS ammendment.  The Spermidiot ignored summons, refused delivery of multiple notifications by the DA's office, and ultimately physically ran from the County Constable who was serving him in person.

So, the DA asked my DW for as much information on the Spermidiot as she could provide, she went CPA on his ass including his older tax returns from when they were together, his employers information, the Spermidiot's plumbers license information, the county plumber's wage infrormation, his arrest records, a recommended imputed income at the mid range of the licensed plumbers wage tables for that county., and a request for the DA to invoke direct payroll withholding of CS.

A month of so later after the DA's new CS amount of $785/mo resulted in the Spermidiot getting a $0.00 biweekly pay check due to CS he came crying into court with only his latest two pay checks. The Judge ruled that his CS would be reduced from the $785/mo to $385/mo after two years of $785/mo were paid.  

In an attempt to get his CS reduced immediately, the Spermidiot finally took health insurance for all 4 of his out of wedlock spawn by 3 different baby mamas. He had been COd to provide medical insurance coverage for my SS (his eldest of 4) 10 yeaers earlier and never did. So, his CS amount was raised by half of the cost for  DW and I to provide med coverage for SS.  The Judge ruled that the insurance he finally provided was insufficient and required the Spermidiot to provide that insurance and continue to pay for half of the premium for us to provide SS's.  The judge then reset the 2yr moratorium on the NCP to file for a CS review.  

That was the last we heard from the SpermClan other than  crying about the CO and having to do what we told them to do.   Until they immediately filed to end CS on SS the day after his 18th B-day.  SS could have kept them on the hook for 3 more years of CS while he was in college. He chose to let them off.

This whole thing is a dance.  Unfortunately the CP holds the play list on just about all of it.  Even if the NCP is the quility side of the blended famiy equation.  My DW was the CP though the NCP was a POS and not a person of any redeeming characteristics.  Had he been, and had the SpermClan not been manipulative and toxic.... my DW would likely have never filed for the CS review.

Defend yourselves.  Make it as hard as you can on BM.

MissK03's picture

Hoping something goes in your favor!! My guess.. it has to do with DD. Anything to suck the life out of you guys (especially during holidays) being a happy family because she is miserable in her everyday existence. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Personally, for my and my ex, his CS dropped like $400/month when child care stopped (I was paying $1200/mo). He has also gone up in rank making more money at that point. His other children only made like a $12/mo difference. 

It sounds like there should be a drop between no childcare and her increased income. 

Hopefully this will turn out to be a good thing for you guys!