Holidays in Stepland: Side-Stepping the Steps
Well I suppose last year we had a break due to COVID and Bratty McBratFace (SD24) living a few hours away from us - no travelling and our holiday was spent with a small pandemic pod of close friends. This year, with our family all vaccinated, we are considering holiday plans again. Holiday plans are such a tricky minefield when dysfunction step-relationships are in the picture.
Bratty is still up in NorCal working on Post Bacc 2.0, living with Nutter GF in a communal house of 12. I have no idea how its going since I haven't heard anything, nor have I asked.
In the past, SO's brother (who also lives up north) would sometimes host a large gathering of extended family and their friends. This year I mentioned to SO that I didn't think they would be up for hosting anything (his brother and partner have both had many health challenges this past year). SO spoke to his brother and confirmed that, and we told them we'll visit them a bit later when both are ready to receive guests.
My cousin invited us both to join her and her family for Thanksgiving but they are on the east coast, and since we've done a lot of plane travel in the past couple of months, I don't want to go anywhere that requires flying. So it may be just SO and I spending Thanksgiving at home this year, which I think would be very nice.
I briefly thought about broaching to topic of an invitation to Bratty and Nutter GF to join us but quickly came to my senses after I recalled the last Thanksgiving I did this, where Bratty declared she was vegan and complained about all the food as we were pulling traditional Thanksgiving dishes out of the oven. And then wanted to go eat at Boston Market the next day. So I'm not planning to say a word. Bratty is still the same immature, entitled brat that she was before I disengaged, so inviting her would be inviting drama. No thank you, I like to keep my holidays drama-free.
Not sure if SO will bring it up later. To be honest even if we invited Bratty I don't know that she would come, or maybe is even planning to visit Nutter GF's family at Thanksgiving. We'll see how things shake out.
For Christmas we have the same dilemma. Don't want to fly anywhere (we just visited my family a month ago so no real need to go back so soon) - so I booked a ski condo at a ski resort that is a day's drive from us. It is refundable so SO and I have some time to decide. He is not into skiing (but likes to snowshoe hike) so he's not as keen on the idea as I am.
Either way, I'm hoping it will be stepkid-free holiday season for me!
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Holiday Hell
Yeah, last year with Feral Forger and her shenanigans last year. Thanksgiving was nice, then Christmas Day she was asked to clean and it ended up being her sobbing on the phone to daddy and telling sd15 to "shut the eff up eff you" in the same breath.
And DH getting mad at me during a family holiday zoom call because I told him dont leave in the middle of family call to pick her up, let her wait...she was the one who doesnt drive and decided to walk to the mall, and now just up and calls expecting her chauffer to race to her rescue.
Im feeling like booking a trip with just my girlfriends...
Right?
Why stress ourselves out with this crap when we can have a nice relaxing holiday...sometimes I think family time at holidays are way over-rated!
Step holidays
I know what you mean about the step minefields. Last year we had both holidays just the two of us, ZERO drama and we swore it would be that way forever after. I have a feeling it won't be that way this time but I'm avoiding thinking about it. Lol. Like that works.....
Last year
We spent Thanksgiving with our dear friends at their timeshare in Napa. Just 4 adults. We made a small Thanksgiving dinner and pigged out, and the rest of week enjoyed tastings in various wineries. We all remarked how relaxing that holiday was - no drama, just good food and good company.
Yeah I'm a big fan of small holidays - the pandemic gave us a great excuse last year but I suspect you're right - this year won't be the same. I hope your plans work out well!
That's one good thing about
That's one good thing about having a half-alienated skid - no worry about them coming around on holidays. SS21 isn't vaccinated, so he wouldn't be allowed to come over even if he wanted to (which he doesn't).
Same with SS25
He is vaccinated but you're right, the PAS means there is no chance of him wanting to come over!
I start dreading the holidays
I start dreading the holidays around July. Last year was SO nice.
DH gets whiny every few weeks about not having seen his kids for two years (uhm, roads and planes go both ways), and yet he does nothing about it. I am not the cruise director.
Yes!
Same with my SO. If you want to Bratty, go ahead. I don't see either of you planning or doing anything though.
I think SO loves his child but doesn't really like spending time with her. He wants to relax with a nice meal and wine and that's hard to do around Bratty. So that's why I think he drags his feet on visiting her by himself.
oh I do love our DH/me only
oh I do love our DH/me only Thanksgivings! The SDs are always at BMs for Thanksgiving and per the CO with DH for all Xmases. For Thanksg I usually cook some type of 3 course plus dessert menu; something we would never have if SDs were around. OR we travel on our own somewhere which is still in hiatus this year.
Xmas....sigh....I've just been done with it for years now. It was such a sh*tshow with the SDs. Still is. I make DH do everything. I only help put the tree up and do some very minimal decorating and make sure the housecleaner comes over the week before. I do cookie making ONLY on my own when YSD isn't here. I don't buy extra gifts or make suggestions any longer for DH. I work a LOT MORE. I cover for co-workers at work.
Then we have our NY all to ourselves again. Every year.
At least you get Thanksgiving
At least you get Thanksgiving to yourselves! We like to make a big feast too but the traditional fare.
In general I think Christmas is overrated. I guess I'm a scrooge at heart.
Thanksgiving
During the time that we had all 5 kids here, Thanksgiving was the one and only day of the year that DH and I had all to ourselves. My ex and BM were undependable parents, but both took their kids the night before. So our Thanksgiving was me and DJ in bed til noon then out to eat somewhere. Heavenly.
We have purposely never emphasized Thanksgiving to any of them since so nobody expects us to do anything. Nowadays, we love to go to the casino and let them cook. Lol.