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Chapter 15, Part 1: Thanksgiving 2018 - The Beginning of the End

caninelover's picture

I do love Thanksgiving.  It is really my favorite holiday because it so food-centered.  I don’t really like messing around with modern recipes and prefer the traditional ones:  turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, etc.  I also do not skimp on using butter and cream because this is the one day of the year I want to be completely gluttonous. 

I knew Bratty preferred not to eat meat and had experimented with vegan diets before, but never stuck with them.  So I jotted down a menu – just a half turkey breast (since SO and I would likely be the only meat-eaters), and a bunch of traditional sides.  Most of the sides were vegetarian but not vegan, since most recipes called for butter and/or cream.  I showed the menu to SO and asked him what he thought.  He said it was fine, and that Bratty was not a strict vegan so the vegetarian options were enough.  We also planned to do an easy local bike ride Thanksgiving morning for some fresh air and exercise, so I got an early start on the shopping and the prep.  By Thanksgiving morning I would only have the turkey and potatoes left to deal with.

Bratty was set to fly home the Monday before Thanksgiving, and had a late flight out the day after Thanksgiving.  SO picked her up from the airport while I was still at work.  Bratty settled in for a bit and then she and SO went out for a walk together.  SO (unbeknownst to me ahead of time) brought up the topic of Bratty moving out after the end of her post-bac.  He brought it up indirectly by asking Bratty when she thought she could clear out of her room.  Bratty got a bit defensive and said she couldn’t clear out that visit.  SO said of course not but start thinking about doing so after finishing her post-bac.  Bratty was quiet.

They returned home and I had already made a veggie lasagna (with real no-vegan cheese) for dinner that just needed to be re-heated.  We all sat down and dinner was fine.  That night, SO told me about the moving out conversation with Bratty.  He thought it was fine that she was quiet and that she would confirm her plans towards the end of her program.  OK, fine with me.  SO and I had agreed that Bratty could keep her stuff and her room here for a year after her program ended before she would be required to clear completely out but of course she was welcome to take her stuff sooner if she wanted.

The next day SO and Bratty spent some more time together while I went to work, and we went out to a local restaurant for dinner.  The Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving Bratty accompanied SO to have brunch with his DS24 (22 at the time), who SO was starting to reconnect with.  Bratty was estranged from her brother but decided she wanted to see him and he didn’t object when SO texted him to ask. 

SO told me what happened later.  Bratty complained she didn’t like the options on the restaurant’s menu.  She is a picky eater and doesn’t like salads, spicy foods, or ethnic foods.  She also doesn’t eat meat so that doesn’t leave a wide range of options.  Anyway, after finally ordering eggs, Bratty proceeded to brag to her brother – she was pre-med and going to be a doctor.  She had a 20-year life plan.  She asked her brother about his life plan.  He just said nothing and stared at Bratty like she just landed from Mars.  DS24 had graduated college the year prior with a degree in theater and was trying to break into voice-over work for audiobooks and commercials so suffice it say he had no 20 year life plan.  Most kids that age wouldn’t either.  I thought it was pretty obnoxious of Bratty but didn’t say anything as it didn’t involve me (note, DS24 and I have no relationship though we’ve met a couple of times at his performances and this is fine with both of us).

Thanksgiving Day finally arrived.  The weather on Thanksgiving morning was sunny and warm – beautiful riding weather.  We all got on our bikes and headed out.  Bratty was still a little unsteady and slow and did finish the whole ride.  After we returned home, Bratty mentioned that she wanted to drive out to the beach since she missed the ocean and was wondering if she had time before dinner.  I said sure no problem, if that’s what she wanted to do.  But Bratty changed her mind and decided to take a nap instead.  She also asked me if I minded if she didn’t eat any turkey for dinner and I said of course not, the sides are all vegetarian.  She said great and then headed upstairs to rest.

Later both Bratty and SO came downstairs when dinner was almost ready.  I was pulling the sides out of the oven; the turkey was resting and almost ready for SO to carve.  Bratty starts looking at the sides and then starts complaining to SO.  ‘Does this have butter in it, it looks like it does’.  SO would respond ‘I think so’ and then Bratty would move onto the next dish.  ‘What about this one, is there butter in it’?  SO would again respond ‘Um, yes’.  Bratty then continued this butter interrogation for every dish that being placed on the table.  Finally Bratty proclaimed to SO, ‘Wow, I can’t eat any of this’.

As I was listening to this, I was getting extremely frustrated.  I worked hard to pull that meal together and I was stunned that Bratty was now deciding to vocalize that she wanted vegan food.  I finally popped off to Bratty that it was Thanksgiving and yes of course everything had butter in it.  SO then turned to me (not Bratty), raised his voice (the only time he’s ever done so to me) and said ‘That’s enough’.  Now I was completely shocked and not happy at all with SO.  Once again he didn’t manage Bratty’s behavior well at all and now he was yelling at me?  WTF!

I didn’t want to take anything further at that time since it would ruin the meal I had worked hard to make.  So I gave SO the stink eye and went ahead with setting the table.  Bratty was quite pleased and tried to chat with me at dinner.  I completely ignored her.  In fact that had to be the most awkward holiday meal I have ever sat through.  For her meal, Bratty pushed a few potatoes and cranberry sauce around on her plate but that was it. 

Once dinner was mercifully over, SO was cleaning dishes and Bratty headed upstairs to change.  She was going to take her drive to the beach.  I went upstairs because I was upset and wanted some quiet time alone.  Bratty saw SO right before she headed out and asked him if was mad at her.  SO said yes and that Bratty’s timing was off.  That was all her said to her – nothing about needing to apologize to me at all.  Bratty left and took her drive to the beach.  When I saw SO later I told him I was p*ssed and wanted some time to think so we could talk about it more after Bratty left.

The drama was not over though – in Part 2 we’ll look at the day after Thanksgiving where Bratty went to Boston Market for dinner to chow down on chicken and mac.  Yes, folks, apparently she was only vegan for Thanksgiving dinner.

Comments

CLove's picture

Wow, she must be the one and only.

Feral Forger, when I met her at 15.5 years old, was a "pescatarian", and always loved doing the "interrogations". EVERYWHERE. EVERY TIME. "yes you can eat this its fish".

She wasnt Vegan thankfully, but there were the fun comments "oh so you know eggs are chicken embryos."

This lifestyle was easy when her parents were catering meals. But once she went out into the world and was responsible for herself, it became more, ahem, difficult. And with this added difficulty, I think her diet then became more, ahem, flexible.

Im guessing this is what happened for Bratty. She likes playing games and does it for attention and then gets hungry after being "starved". She thinks that it makes her "more special" than everyone else. Her brother probs was thinking "why am I doing this to myself?"

Shes turning out to be rude and unlikeable. Like Feral Forger (who now eats meat, go figure!).

Your husband must be kicking himself by now...

caninelover's picture

But her diet is 90% peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and granola bars.  The other 10% is vegan pizza.  So not exactly a health nut but she loves to think she is 'special' for being vegan.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Thats enough...your DH said that to you? F that. I wouldve been livid.

Nothing like giving brattymcbrat more power to stir up shit .

I do not know how you controlled yourself? Dang you are better than me girl.

caninelover's picture

I found it so frustrating.  Just that one frustrated utterance to Bratty a) got me yelled at and b) to this day Bratty acts like I verbally abused her.  Go figure.

Stepdrama2020's picture

These SD's love to play the permanent victim. Its how they keep big daddio on "their side"

paul_in_utah's picture

My ex-fiancé was like this with her daughter, Detective Pikachu.  Always sticking up for DP even when she was being unreasonable.   
 

Bratty and DP both like to use what I call the "touch foul" to stay in a position of power.  They take comments that most people would consider reasonable, and then twist it around so they are mortally offended. And they use these touch fouls to make the case that they are abused.  And they never let you forget them. 

futurobrillante99's picture

I hope you handed him his ass for #1 Yelling at YOU in front of her like you were a child and #2 FAILING to yell at the a-hole he's supposed to parent: his daughter.

Oh, there would have been hell to pay for that one.

Cover1W's picture

DH has done this to me before, treating me like the bratty teenager or kid at the table rather than the ACTUAL problem kid.

I have, several times, looked at him (with the stink eye), calmly got up, dumped my plate and left the room without a word.  Later we always talk about it. He's usually upset and sees what the skid is doing/saying but takes it out on me. NOT RIGHT DH.

He even did this to me once BEFORE dinner even started. He says sternly to me, as I was going into the dining room and said something to the cat, "OK, That's ENOUGH I just want a nice dinner!"  I looked at him, and said, "Really? Before dinner has even started? What exactly is the problem here?  Do you want to start over again DH?"  I was fully prepared to leave the house at that point. But he recovered OK.

It's total projection.

caninelover's picture

Just overly defensive of Bratty.  He is sensitive to anyone criticizing her even when she deserves it.  

IDontCare3117's picture

Your SO should have been extracting that turkey breast from his rectum.

caninelover's picture

Nope.  I wanted to eat that turkey, it was yummy Smile

JRI's picture

There is something about food situations that bring opportunities for step conflict.  Back in the day, my SKs were picky eaters, complaining about everything.  Nowadays, I think they were just young kids seeing foods and preps they were unfamiliar to them.  Of course, Disney Dad's solution was to hand out fast food money.

YSS and I always had a tenuous relationship.  I vividly remember him saying, " What smells?" when I cooked something.  I  want to THINK he meant, " I smell something", not "Something stinks" but i'm still not sure.  Lol.

All this happened before I totally disengaged from considering anybody's opinion about my food.

 

caninelover's picture

To be honest if Bratty had been upfront about wanting vegan food, no problem.  If Bratty had said at the time,"thank you for this great meal.  Its a little rich for me so I'll just have a sampling"  or other numerous ways she could have handled it. 

What she did was simply mean and meant to put me down and place herself in a higher standing with SO.

caninelover's picture

She uses food, gifts, holidays etc to start drama.

advice.only2's picture

Oh I would have made myself a plate and told SO to enjoy Thanksgiving alone then gone and eaten and watched a show or something.  Bratty just likes to ruin any and every occasion that brings anybody joy.  She really is a brat.

MissK03's picture

Considering two days later she ate at Boston market... she was purposely starting drama because she is never happy. 

There are some things I can't control myself with when it comes to something sooo stupid coming for mainly my SS17 that I have to say something. 
 

This would be the case for me. You didn't eat thanksgiving but ate chicken two days later? I'm confused aren't you vegan?! 
 

My SO, myself, his friend, and his friends sister went to Europe a few years ago. While we were in Germany we ate at this awesome brewery/dining hall. His friends sister was one of those... I don't like other people cooking meat for me...........so she ate salads. But yet, at midnight when we wanted a snack had no problem going to the train station and slamming back McDonald's chicken nuggets..............She missed out on amazing dinners to say the least. Haha

I also know someone who is "vegan" and so is her 12 year old daughter. They are the worse, unhealthy "vegans" I've ever met. Fast food French fries are the main meal... that's all I'll say about that. 
 

Hypocrites haha. 

caninelover's picture

That's what I really figured out about Bratty over the next year or so.  She just really wanted to stir the pot and never had an interest in creating a cohesive blended family at all.  She likes the drama.

MissK03's picture

Yeah there is definitely a pattern. ME ME ME! SS17 has BM's brain. BM is in her 40s and has no true friends. She didn't have any when SO met her when she was 18/19. SS17 struggles with relationships just like BM.

 

Why? Because they are both ME ME ME! It's something that even the lack of exposure (of BM) and the countless talks to "get" him to see it. He doesn't. 
 

Sounds like bratty is right up there with that mindset. They calculate every scenario to see how they can benefit/stir things up. 

caninelover's picture

They try out different 'excuses' to see which one people will accept, which is usually none of them because all are ridiculous.

CajunMom's picture

Between Bratty and your SO, I'm pretty sure I'd have exploded. Or thrown cake. LOL Which really did happen once with another friend of mine dealing with two crazy SKs and a former DH who just would not parent. They were giving her all kinds of crap on her birthday. It finally exploded at the table, where she just tossed the whole damn cake across the kitchen and told them to clean it up. And they did. LOL

I

caninelover's picture

I guess that could've worked, LOL.  

Survivingstephell's picture

I had picky skids, because of that I stopped cooking on their nights.  Screw  that crap.  I will say two of my best memories of my YSS involve food.   First was in the beginning and he was 6 or 7.  I had a collie at the time and if you know herd dogs, they like to cut in front of you.  He had a PB&J on a paper plate and was walking with it.  She cut him off, he tripped and she got the sandwich.  Now if he would have eaten at the table it wouldn't have happed but it did and I still crack up over that one. Tears galore of course.  The other was he had this habit of pouring a Jethro Bodine hillbilly size bowl of cereal and then not finishing it.  I'd had enough and when DH was a work one Saturday morning I made him finish it. Unfortunately he chose shredded wheat that day.  Later that day he got a lesson from his dad on cleaning up the toilet.  Never had that problem again. Logical consequences.   

caninelover's picture

Input leads to output, LOL

SteppedOut's picture

Has your husband ever realized his daughter is a vapid b!tch? I mean honestly, he has reaized, right?!

caninelover's picture

He sees her sometimes as 'challenging' but no, he is really blind to the reality of how socially handicapped Bratty really is.

Kaylee's picture

OMG I would have ripped DH a new one if I was you. 

Raising his voice to YOU, when he should have dealt with the brat right there and then? 

NO WAY!

thinkthrice's picture

That Thanksgiving was considered a "Girhippo Clan" holiday along with Christmas and Easter.   I love cooking big gourmet meals at Thanksgiving and Easter so of would have been a disaster as the ferals lived (still do) off a diet of mcnuggets, cheese pizza, oreos, doritos, sundaes, kraft dinner.