Chapter 10: Can Bratty Live With Us?
Shortly after Bratty McBratFace returned to college, she called SO and they had a long conversation. SO told me about it afterwards. Bratty had described an ambitious plan to become a doctor.
It would be important to note that up to this point Bratty had expressed zero interest in medicine or science in general. Her major at college was Gender Studies – not exactly hard-core STEM. In high school Bratty had not taken much math and science. When Bratty was a freshman SO encouraged Bratty to try some science courses but she seemed uninterested. Nonetheless, Bratty now insisted she wanted to be a doctor and specifically an OB-GYN to help women like herself with undiagnosed endometriosis (?!?!). I should note here that Bratty was doing very well academically, and since she came in with some AP credits was actually on track to graduate with her BA is 3 years instead of the typical 4 years.
Bratty’s major obstacle was her lack of pre-requisites for med school. Therefore Bratty’s proposal to SO was to apply to some programs (called post-bacs) that were geared toward completing all med school pre-requisites in a year. Since Bratty was finishing her BA is three years she asked if SO would pay for this program as her fourth year, and he agreed. This part actually made sense to me and I was supportive (though it was SO’s own money so it also didn’t matter to me either way).
Now I didn’t want to be a wet blanket but I asked SO if he thought Bratty was up to the challenge of plunging into a year of only math and science courses. He said he wasn’t sure because she had failed Algebra II in high school (repeated it in summer school) but that was also after the separation and the fighting with her BM. But he thought she was past that and could do well. So the plan was set in motion and Bratty began applying to various programs.
Now for the bad news. Bratty wasn’t sure she would be accepted to any of the programs she was looking at and had asked SO during their phone call if she could live with us after she graduated. SO had told her yes. I was stunned for a minute and then flipped out. I mean, I became a full-on spitting, stuttering, lunatic. If we were in a public place there is no question I would have been hauled away in a straightjacket.
I was upset that SO made that decision unilaterally without even consulting me. He looked confused and hadn’t thought it was a big deal. Dumb @ss – how is it not a big deal to invite another adult to live with us? I was fuming for days.
After I calmed down we sat to talk. He said he had thought about it and he was sorry – he realizes we should have spoken about it first. Then he asks if I would really be opposed. I said there is no way in hell I can live with his crazy adult child. Well, I didn’t use those exact words but that was the gist of it.
He was saddened and thought we had made progress towards the end of summer. I said it didn’t matter how well we all got along or not. I am a private person and I want agency over my home. I don’t want adult roommates and prefer my privacy and he damn well knew that. He said he understood and he would address it with Bratty.
In reality it turned out to be a non-issue as Bratty did get accepted to a program that was not far from her current school, so her plan was to remain near college for the summer in between. Win – Win – Bratty had her future in hand, and I didn’t have to deal with her the next summer. And the biggest win of all – SO was now crystal clear that adult Bratty was not welcome to live with us after graduating.
With Bratty graduating, and making ambitious future plans, I was hopeful that the drama would subside and we would finally see some maturity develop. Guess again…in our next Chapter, Bratty returns for a weekend visit as part of a school project and manages to stir up even more drama.