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Chapter 9, Part 6: The Many Ailments of Bratty McBratFace

caninelover's picture

Hypochondria (as defined by The Mayo Clinic):  Obsession with the idea of having a serious but undiagnosed medical condition.  Symptoms include a long-term and intense fear of having a serious condition and worry that minor symptoms indicate something serious. A person may frequently visit or switch doctors.

Bratty McBratFace has always been convinced that she has endometriosis like her mother.  She complained of painful cramps and periods but never had an official diagnosis.  As we recall, Bratty had some issues during her study abroad program which she used to gain ‘special accommodations’ including extra time to turn in assignments.

After arriving back home, Bratty remained steadfast in her conviction of her self-proclaimed diagnosis and thought she required surgery.  She was suffering!  Our living room sofa has a lovely chaise-end seat, and I’ve set up a lamp, table and bookshelf there for a quiet reading nook.  Bratty took over the space and made it her personal infirmary:  a heating pad to help her pain, a blanket (in the middle of summer) and a giant bottle of Advil next to her at all times for everyone to see. 

One day I asked Bratty if she wanted to join me on a hike.  It was a 2-3 hour hike and involved a good uphill climb.  A nice little weekend workout.  Bratty surprisingly said yes.  It was a warm day so I recommended Bratty bring extra water.  She brought one tiny half-liter bottle of water that she carried in one hand, and in the other hand was the giant bottle of Advil.  Now I figured Bratty was doing this for attention because how many Advil can one person take on a 3 hour hike?  So I completely ignored it and pretended it wasn’t there. 

Halfway through the hike Bratty was getting tired of carrying the Advil and she hadn’t brought a backpack of any kind.  I had a backpack but I deliberately didn’t offer to take it.  Finally Bratty asks if I mind carrying it and I said sure, but for future reference you wouldn’t need an entire bottle on a hike.  Just put a couple in your pocket next time.  Bratty said nothing.  When I got home I also told SO that Bratty’s make-shift in our living room hospital bed needed to be cleared out.  It was in the way and if Bratty was really that ill she should stay in her room.  The stuff was gone by the end of that day.

Bratty made an appointment to ‘confirm’ her self-diagnosis.  The doctor explained to her that the only real way to affirmatively diagnose endometriosis was by surgery, but it didn’t change the course of treatment which was to regulate the monthly cycle with hormones (which is why Bratty had an IUD implanted prior to leaving for Amsterdam).  Bratty was unconvinced and said she needed surgery, now.  The doctor said that surgery was not advised at her young age and carried risks.  The doctor also said that no respectable doctor would have a contrary opinion.  Bratty left in a huff and immediately made another appointment with a different doctor.  That doctor gave her the same opinion as the first doctor.

Bratty came home defeated and had a meltdown when SO asked her how it went.  I did not catch the first part of the conversation because it started at a normal voice level and I was in another room.  But it ended up with Bratty in tears screaming at SO that no one would believe her or help her.  SO calmed her down and told her to try a different doctor, but Bratty never did.  Eventually Bratty’s self-diagnosis changed from endometriosis to chronic pain, which poor Bratty still claims she suffers from today. 

Now, my observations of Bratty’s chronic pain is one of cause and effect. 

For example:

  • Cause:  Wake up early for work = Effect:  Bratty has chronic pain and can’t get out of bed.
  • Cause:  A paper is due for school =  Effect:  Bratty has chronic pain and can’t get out of bed.
  • Cause:  Packing for a flight back to school = Effect:  Bratty has chronic pain and can’t get out of bed.
  • Cause:  Clean the bathroom = Effect:  Bratty has chronic pain and can’t get out of bed.
  • Cause:  Clean anything = Effect:  Bratty has chronic pain and can’t get out of bed.
  • Cause:  None, Bratty slept in.  =  Effect:  Bratty made excuses in the afternoon when she finally woke up about how bad her pain was the night before.

It is important to note that Bratty’s chronic pain syndrome is temporarily and miraculously cured in certain circumstances, such as:

  • Cause:  Free tickets to Disneyland (scored by yours truly) = Effect:  No pain.  Can we leave earlier and stay longer?
  • Cause:  There is free food at a festival =  Effect:  No pain.  Get the hell out of my way.
  • Cause:  There is a free T-shirt offered at an event =  Effect:  No pain.  Get the hell out of my way AND they better have my size.

Poor, brave Bratty McBratFace.  It was her personal triumph to prevail over such challenges and Bratty made certain to share this with everyone on her social media accounts. 

I can tell you poor Bratty did manage to survive the summer.  And through her summer drama, I had found and was seeing a therapist.  Now we’ll get to what the good doctor said, and we’ll see how the Summer of Terror 2.0 finally ended with Bratty’s departure back to school for the fall semester.


BPDHell's picture

Oh man this is turning into a long summer. Scratch one-s head And I am only reading about it! Bahahaha

Side note, my SKs would never hike with me, they wouldn't even consider That's actually how we get away from them sometimes, we escape to the woods! Hahahaha

caninelover's picture

I think she found it too hard.  Or just preferred being lazy at home!


CLove's picture

Munchkin used to go on walks. Hiking isnt her thing. So Ive got my tribesters that hike with me.

caninelover's picture

But that was the only time she went with me alone, though I offered other times.  She didn't want to get up early (summers are hot here so I hike reasonably early (8 am) to beat the heat  - but that is waaayyyy to early for Bratty!)

CLove's picture

And Bratty McBratface could be BFF's.

She used to do the EXACT same thing. Endometriosis, where she swore she could "feel the polyps popping inside her". She ended up in the ER, and that was back when I first was friends with DH and he waited in the hospital, and the diagnosis was "gas". LOL. But she "had intense pain in her abdomen, it HAD to be something more". And of course Toxic Troll also has endo. And irregular heartbeat syndrom called Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome (WPW) Just like FF.

And of course allergies, and Asthma. And GERD (heartburn). She would camp out on the couch and have her nose tissues, and juice glass, and plates, and bowls and breathing thing and aspirins all laid out on the coffeed table in front of her, like decorations. I told DH that she needed to "camp out" in her room if shes that sick, and eating is strickly in the kitchen at the dining table. No eating in the living room.

One day, sick of it, DH had her mow the lawn in the heat of summer. Nothing. No allergies.

Now of course, shes on 6 different medications, for anxiety, and psychopathic tendencies.

caninelover's picture

It is part of that with Bratty.  She wants people to say 'oh you poor thing' and then give/do things for her.  It is really pathetic.

Yeah Bratty tried exactly one time to take a bowl of cereal up to her room (casually, without even asking).  I said no way, eat at the table and then go upstairs.  As messy as she was we'd have mice, rats, etc going after her crusty leftover plates.

thinkthrice's picture

barely sipped on gigantic open containers of gatoraid with about a litre of beverage being enjoyed by ants in the HousesHitter's room.

caninelover's picture

Yep - that's why we had an "only water anywhere other than the table" rule for Bratty (which we followed to but only while she was here.  SO and I will have snacks in our upstairs offices during the workday now).

CLove's picture

Comes from the two different aspects that I detested about her the most. Her dirtiness and Feralness, and her stealing/brazen dishonesty.

Mice did actually chew through the carpet and her room door to get at the moldy scraps she left behind when she graduated high school and ghosted us.  Thats why I cleaned out her room 7 months later and re-constructed it into my little sanctuary. Shes still mad about it 4 years later...

caninelover's picture

SO was onboard with the water-only rule from the start, thank goodness.  He knew Bratty was a slob.

CLove's picture

Feral Forger, in all her Feral Glory, would traipse around the house at 3 am, and sneak food and whatever into her room. She still does that at Toxic Trolls apartment. Thats how she got the checks to cash from her mothers wallet.

Cover1W's picture

Oh, you were able to prevent this?  DH underminded me with the food rules. There are a lot of rats in the area where we live, lots of water and low vegetation. In our rental house we had a rat infestation (a major cause of our moving out). One BIG rule with vermin is no food ever left out, no crumbs, nothing. OSD constantly took food to her room, and ate it in a nook, leaving uneaten food on plates/in bowls to rot. DH would never, ever tell her no or make her clean it up. It was infuriating with rats in the WALLS. I mean, Crazy. I told him I was moving out of that house with or without him.

So we bought a house. Two rules:  No food in bedrooms and SDs must learn to take care of their own bathroom. Yeah, nope.

OSD would walk past me with a bowl full of food, or a bag of chips, give me a smirk and keep going. If I told her no, get back here, DH would say, "oh, it's ok. You'll bring it up when done, right OSD?"  Never ever. I found empty or semi-empty chip bags on the floor, in the closet under the bed, etc. Chips in the bed, on the floor, dirty dishes/utensils were stashed in her dresser, moldy food was in her closet in her lunch containers for months, moldy coffee mugs partially filled with old cocoa, I found moldy doughnuts underneath her bookcase (in a container luckily). And DH wondered why her room smelled?!  That was really only part of the smell.I made it clear to DH that if we ever, ever had vermin in the house (would likely start in her room) he was 100% responsible for all arrangements and costs.

caninelover's picture

Once he even caught Bratty eating a granola bar in her room after he told her this rule and he made her throw it out.  So yeah we were on the same page with that.  

CLove's picture

DH is totally on board with this rule. And never goes back on it. And was good about enforcing it.

Feral Forger would get up at 3 am and sneak food in her room. But no one would go inside to check on her, and the funk was STRONG.

And when she left to live somewhere else, I found all kinds of what you describe. Including an empty bottle of whiskey, a girlie toy (try explaining that to an 11-year old!) and a little glass bong.

thinkthrice's picture

Chef would always vascillate on any rules re: the ferals.

Stepdrama2020's picture

I get exhausted, but entertained, as I read your chapters.

Dang brattymcchronicpain is something else.

Isnt it funny how there is no chronic pain if its entertainment she likes. What an annoying lil brat.

Hats off to you for dealing with this shite.

caninelover's picture

I kinda find it amazing that I didn't open a can of whoop @ss on her during that summer for sure...

advice.only2's picture

Endometriosis and chronic pain must be part of the starter pack of spoiled self serving SDs, because Sapwn has diagnosed herself with the same thing. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

OSD has similar issues except hers is depression.

Cause: homework is not turned in because SD was up til 4am in social media instead. It wasn't done because of her depression.

Cause: asked to clean her room, she can't because if her depression.

Cause: SD is about to get a consequence for breaking a rule. It's not her fault she did it, it was her depression. 

When does her depression not effect her, when she wants to go out somewhere, Stay up all night talking to boys she met online. Runaway and party with people she doesn't even know. 

All the adults in her life are the cause of her depression unless she wants something from them. Then she likes you at that moment.

Kaylee's picture

I'm loving this blog about Bratty, and seeing how much alike she and ex SD are. Actually many of the SD's on here are so similar!

Ex SD could only work part time (4 hours a day 4 days a week) because of her "fatigue, anxiety, and chronic abdominal pain"

"It's too hard being on my feet for any length of time".

Yet it's not too hard to be on her feet when she's down at a bar getting trashed. Or when she's at her gym, flaunting in skin tight gymwear. 

She told a pain management team that she can only wear loose clothing because her abdominal pain is so bad.

That's a straight out lie. She always wears SUPER SKIN TIGHT clothing...

Honestly, it's laughable!!

caninelover's picture

It is strange how many of these SDs have similar issues!  


Olivia2020's picture

DaughterWife/exSD23 at the time, would tell Daddeeee that she couldn't work because her knees hurt...oh my goodness, I had to hold my tongue for what I WANTED TO SAY about the little hoe's sore knees...exH/Narc and I lived three hour drive apart so I"m so thankful the times he told me about his 'baby girls knees' that I was doubled over and silently laughing on the other end of the phone line. She would have a large bump and bruise on the top front of her forehead, then it 'moved' to the back of her head, then it 'moved to the forhead again...Dadddeeee believed this 'mystery of the traveling bump' even after I told him it's likely from rough sex with her college boys or falling down drunk and high at the music fests she would sneak off to while failling more classes. I was startled when I saw the large bump and bruise on her forehead and a couple months later when it 'moved' to the back of her head...I never saw the third bump. Dadddeeee bought the lies of the traveling bump and accompanying bruising as they 'just popped up out of nowwhere.' Then when she worked a desk job at large hotel chain, she took pictures of the AC vent in the area where she sat all shift claiming that her allergies were 'too severe to work' from the 'mold' coming out of the vent. This is coming from the 'adult' that leaves her toilet to turn black ALL OVER the inside, refuses to clean it, until Dadddeeee cleans it for her. Gross

Oh, the excuses! 


caninelover's picture

Grasp at anything to justify their entitlement.  Sometimes they 'try out' excuses to see how they go over, and change to something else if the first one falls flat.  Bratty does this often.  Its ridiculous for sure.

Olivia2020's picture

Oh, the energy they must expend to think of these ridiculous things to complain about...lame excuses to get Dadddeeee to say, "baby girl, it's ok, you can just quit" while he's asking me when I'll be filling my work scheudle, I never planned to work full-time again, my finances are in order and his were not at all.

Sore knees...ha!

Harry's picture

To take care of all her needs

Move her into a nursing home,  or better to Mickey's D.  Better food there.  
actually move her anywhere other then your home.   She will do much better there 

caninelover's picture

Right now she isn't particularly welcome to visit either.  She can be someone else's problem.

simifan's picture

I have endometriosis. I was diagnosed 20 years ago during fertility treatment. Cramps and pain are managed quite effectively with a Magnesium supplement. 


Cover1W's picture

Endometriosis runs in DH's mother's side of the family, his sister has it. I have a friend who has it and it is no trifling matter. She may indeed have painful periods - OSD did as well. I introduced Pamprin to OSD and that made a huge difference, but I also told her sitting around in bed all day every day likely made it worse. Moving actually helps. Eating well helps. None of this she would do so I stopped discussing it. She did get onto birth control for the periods which apparently worked (worked for me as a teen too).

caninelover's picture

I know it is a real thing.  They first tried regular birth control but Bratty would forget to take them so not effective.  Bratty then had the IUD and her periods stopped which is why she now just claims chronic pain. 

And same, she would laze about all day sitting on a heating pad so that likely didn't alleviate anything.  She ate 3 square meal a day while she was living with us but only because I cooked.  On her own she eats sporadically and mostly processed food.

JRI's picture

Based on my exlerience with SD59, as Bratty ages, you can expect: headaches, anxiety, depression, GERD, back problems, weakness, insomnia, gastro issues and anything else that isn't visible.  As a guide, look to any ailment in the news or suffered by one of the Kardashians.

caninelover's picture

The Kardashians LOL...

She has already started with various mental health issues that we'll see later on...

She says she has weakness and insomnia but that is due to her 'chronic pain syndrome'.

I suppose you're right, we'll see the other in her later years...