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bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:29am

So, am I a bad person?

My BF is not good with details. I looked at the Custody Arrangement and we are supposed to have his kids for Labor Day weekend (this weekend). This weekend is also my sister's wedding reception. I seriously thought that we did NOT have them for this holiday, so I told my parents they weren't coming.

I have not told BF that we made a mistake because I do not want SS13 to come to the reception. His behavior is awful. He is totally inappropriate and the last 2 parties we went to with him, he threw HUGE hissy fits and sat in the car. One time for 3 HOURS. He is rude and disrespectful and expects us to give him his way all the time. Which I NEVER do. Anyway, I do not want that kid around my family as his behavior is extremely embarrassing to me. In fact, at the last party we went to, I told the kid that was the case. Went over real well with him. At least my BF supports me on it.

Plus, my mom and sister have anxiety issues, and I don't want to make my mom FREAK. Seriously...

I feel kinda bad....

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:46am

Don't feel bad. If he can't keep track of when he has his kids, that's his problem. I just hope BM doesn't remind him!

bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:51am

BM doesn't have a clue. She "quotes" the custody arrangement when it's convenient for her. (i.e. 2 weeks ago when she said we HAD to get the kids at 7PM on a Friday because she was following the papers! The papers say 8PM, jokes on her dumbA**!) So, I doubt it will be an issue.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:56am

She "quotes" the custody arrangement when it's convenient for her.

That's what I mean, hopefully she doesn't have plans that she does not want the kids to intrude upon.

bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 11:12am

The point is that when she "quotes" it, she is wrong. She has no clue what it really says.

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:46am

You have NOTHING to feel bad for. As mentioned above HIS custody arrangement is HIS problem that HE needs to deal with and figure out. You have EVERY RIGHT to NOT want his atrocious child at YOUR Sister's wedding reception...and how fair is it to your Sister on her day to bring a rude, brat that could potentially cause issues and drama at her reception?? The kid needs to find another place to go on HER day!! Period!!!

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:58am

I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to take skids with you to these things. I'm the same way. Got stuck taking SS14 to an "after-reception" reception last weekend and it was awful. For some reason SO thought it would be OK to bring him because there would be other kids there, but he didn't bother to inform me that he was coming until we all got in the car. Of course SS didn't hang with the other kids, but stayed attached to SO's hip like a mini-wife the entire time. He injected himself into adult conversations, sat in a chair next to his father while I stood, then got pissy when HE wanted to leave forcing us to cut our visit short.

I'm guessing the reason you're feeling bad is that you realized this IS his visitation weekend, but aren't going to remind him. Is that right? If that's the case, you'd better line up a babysitter just in case. Chances are, BM knows darn well this is his weekend, and has plans of her own that don't include the kid. You're probably going to stuck with him whether your BF remembers or not. No babysitter?, then leave BF and skid home while you attend. Skid is there to visit his father, not your family.

bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 10:15am

I do feel bad that it is his time with his kids. But I want him at this reception. He couldn't come to the wedding (out of town and short notice) and we are taking family pictures and I would like one with him in it! BM loves to dump us with the kids, but she also likes to show her family that she is a "good mom" when she feels like it. I really think we are OK, and she will not have a clue.

bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 10:12am

He can't be alone! He runs away and steals things and trashes the house! It's awful! And if we leave him with the girls (11, 8, 5) he hits them and torments them. He is seriously awful. I would totally take the SDs to the reception but not him!

bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 10:17am

I know, right? Ha ha. He doesn't pull much when I am here, because I will call the cops on him. He's already on probation for stealing. But when I'm not here, he is awful.

mama_althea's picture

Submitted by mama_althea on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 3:05pm

First, I would not feel bad about doing something without SS during a visitation weekend. Sometimes weddings and other important events don't fall neatly into our schedule. I would also know that we might have to make alternate arrangements if BM is not willing/able to accomodate, which is understandable if it's not her weekend.

What I might feel bad about is not saying anything to DH. Like if a cashier gives me back too much change...I have to say someting or I feel bad. Then, once I've said something to DH...back to the part about not feeling bad about doing something without skid on the weekend.

bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 10:06pm

Update.....

I did talk to my BF and he is OK with BM keeping the skids because we had them for the holiday last year. I guess we are off on which holidays we have them. (even vs. odd years). Oh well. BM hasn't said anything....yet....