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17 year old attitude

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Fri, 12/13/2013 - 9:24am

My 17 year old can't stand being around the step kids. I can't say that I blame him. It's been four years. Many time he's the target of court issues on both sides. He's sick of it. Done. Annoyed with it all. Fed up. I completely understand. DH often thinks his annoyance is not valid. DH & my son are really close, when step kids aren't here they are all about each other. Both of them. They do all the same activities, have the same interests, text each other all day about all this stuff... Then step kids get here & he's outa here. DH doesn't get it. Wants his kids to see this side of my son, but he has no interest. On the weekends they are here my rule is he has to join us for meals & if we do something away from the house (swimming, hiking, family bday, etc) he has to choose one thing to do with us. It's his choice. The entire time he's with us as a group he hates it, makes comments, is annoyed, etc. I pretty much have to give him punishments or rewards like I would an 11 year old. He's with us 100% & I get that he's 17. He's gone in six months. (Plans set in stone, traveling abroad) Is this an issue anyone else faces?

Comments

omgsaveme's picture

Submitted by omgsaveme on Fri, 12/13/2013 - 9:32am

Im not experiencing it as mine are all young, but I can totally understand wheres coming from. I've always loved the saying "if you want to be a positive person, surround yourself with positive people". If the Sk's are annoying and toxic people to be around, I wouldn't want to be around them either. Thats definitely how I feel about toxic SD.

That is fantastic he has a great relationship with DH, maybe just allow him to keep away from them? Possibly sit down and talk with him about just having a neutral attitude instead of complaining when he has to be around them would help. I feel his pain, especially if he's being dragged into court issues ? Ouch

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 12/13/2013 - 9:41am

OSS is the same way. he's 15 and all we ever hear is him bitching and whining "i haaaaate mss and yss. whhhyyyy do they have to be heeeere??? oooh my gaawwwd i haaaaate them"

on thanksgiving, dh just wanted a nice breakfast out with his immediate family. oss bitched and bitched and bitched so dh left the parking lot and we took him back home. dh was so pissed and hurt. he flat out told oss "after all the shit i do for you, i ask for one single thing and u freaking ruin it with your attitude. screw that. stay upstairs, i dont even want to see you for the rest of the day."

oss gets like that ALL. THE. TIME. its freaking annoying.

other than that attitude and his selfishness, he's a good kid. but sometimes its like Damn would you shut the hell up? we all have people we dont like that we have to deal with. suck it up, buttercup.

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Fri, 12/13/2013 - 1:57pm

Don't make him hang out with the skids- he deserves his last little bit of time at home to be happy. At 17 Perfectson24 would've laughed in my face if doing stuff with us was "mandatory"- the only thing I insisted on was Mass. "Blended families" are never the kids choice of how they would live their lives, don't force it on him. Plus, he's testing out adulthood- let him.

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Fri, 12/13/2013 - 2:22pm

my dd's 15 twins can not stand my SD17. SD17 moved to MIL in July. I think is SD17 so much as came to my house to visit her father there would be an all out revolt and from what I am hearing from you is that your son just disappears? I think there would be a beat down in my home like a physical cat fight and to be honest since I know my daughter could beat the shit out of SD17 I dont know that I would stop it. With the way she has treated my daughter and her sister and better yet me their Mother, Id be hard pressed