Incessant chatter
The SS(6.5) chatters incessantly. Most of the time it's a monologue of everything and nothing, repeating stories and all he really wants is to hear the sound of his own voice. If we are having a conversation, he interrupts. If mum is on the phone, he interrupts. He keeps talking over us and i've gotten to a stage where sometimes I just don't want to talk to my partner anymore because he interrupts and makes it about him.
The recent two days has gotten me extremely exasperated. I am now sick of the sound of his voice. It grates on my nerves and annoys me. It's the weekend and he barges into our room when we're trying to have a lie in. Today he was better at timing, 6.50am. Usually on weekends it's closer to 6am. I hate the barging in. I've told him CONSTANTLY to knock. He makes up a million excuses as to why he didn't knock but just opened the door 'quietly'. Bullsh*t quiet. Our door doesn't do quiet. It catches so it always does a big noise. Every single time. Once I was getting dressed and had just finished putting my clothes on when he barged in. I reminded him again for the millionth time to knock and that lucky I was dressed. He doesn't give a shit. I hate the barging in!!!!!
I'm very close to losing it. His voice is a constant in the house. It's like he doesn't need to breathe at all. Nobody understands unless they've heard him. It is literally NON-STOP. Even when he's eating. How the heck does he chew AND talk AT THE SAME TIME???? Don't we only have one tongue that needs to assist with chewing?!
I only get a rest from his voice when he's watching tv or on his iPad. Then it's the sound of videos and not even quiet. He zones out and gets zombie-fied.
gosh I'm really hating on him at the moment!
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LOL, oh boy do I remember
LOL, oh boy do I remember those days. That said, he's very young- at this age they need guidance, discipline and teaching him what is ok and not. If you start NOW, you can earn his trust and respect. Correct him if he speaks w/mouth full- or barges in-or talks incessantly. Tell him it's rude to interrupt, to wait his turn. Or ask him to please go read quietly for a bit, or that you simply need a break from his talking. They are very moldable/teachable at this age actually. The thing is-it's about repetition, you will have to remind a bazillion times each time -it's the downside of parenting ha!
I wish I could tell you it gets better, though sometimes it does, it's very dependent on personality and how much parenting the actual parents do as well. My SD was this way when I met her (she was 8 I believe)- she is now almost 21 and STILL talks w/out a breath, has an extremely loud/yelling voice and talks 190 words per second lol. It IS annoying. When she was younger it was really tough because visits would just wear you OUT- now we don't see her often so when she does come by, I can tolerate the constant chatter for a couple hours :) I can picture exactly what your SS is doing because of my SD-so you have my sympathy girl!
I've done the whole reminder
I've done the whole reminder thing. I keep reinforcing the 'knock' issue and 'don't interrupt, mum's on the phone'.
I even try to model it and when he's interrupted by others (myself guilty at times), I will talk to him and apologize and say 'how did it feel when you were interrupted?' I do the whole emotional coaching thing plus modeling stuff with him. Not sure what's wrong but it doesn't seem to be sticking.
he stops talking for a few minutes when his mum finally explodes and yells. Then we get a minute or two of peace. And then it starts again...... he talks to himself at that point for a bit to show that he's 'not' talking to us.
I swear.. I used to think
I swear.. I used to think that my YSD sounded like a whole classroom of kids.. haha. She could make more noise by herself than anyone I knew.. and LOVED to talk.
I think your partner really needs to be doing a better job of reminding the boy about manners and knocking... maybe even put a sign on the outside of the door as a reminder??? And.. interrupting, that is also something that kids need to learn and it will take some time. It's important as adults to model that same behavior. and not let others interrupt conversations that are being had with him too.
Where is dad in all this?
Is Dad working with him, too? That's who should be addressing this.
No dad. Donor sperm so no
No dad. Donor sperm so no custody or other issues with ex spouse etc (thank goodness!)
Part of parenting is curbing
Part of parenting is curbing annoying behavior, but divorced parents are sometimes too insecure to do it, or they are just so happy to see their kid if they don't get much time that it doesn't annoy them. Plus, kids are less annoying to their own parents than they are to anyone else.
Chances are that others are annoyed by the chatter too, and then he will be "that annoying kid" at school. Someone, preferably his parent, should tell him not to interrupt. Also, i think it's ok to tell him sometimes that you need some peace and quiet, as long as he still gets to talk sometimes.
And lock the bedroom door.
Love that lock bedroom door
Love that lock bedroom door advice. I want to do that but for some bizarre reason, partner hates it. Doesn't even close it properly most nights.
The likely worry is that if
The likely worry is that if it is an emergency.. the child wouldn't be able to get in... or maybe worried about getting out of the house quickly.
The reality is that mom needs to reinforce the violations ever single time. You didn't knock.. go back out and do it correctly.
If he stops getting immediate gratification from mom.. he may decide it is more hassle to not knock.. and will start doing it right.
But.. the visual reminder of maybe a red stop sign? and of course if you are in there alone.. lock it.
I guess maybe if both bio and
I guess maybe if both bio and stepparent are sleeping, there could possibly be an emergency and the child wouldn't be able to wake them up by loudly knocking. Maybe unlock it while sleeping but if doing something that needs privacy, or, just wanting peace, lock it when awake. Or, enforce the knock rule if bioparent is willing.
We with OSD who did not get
We with OSD who did not get the knock knock first, get permission, then enter rule (YSD picked it up quickly)... I had to enforce it because DH floundered.
One night I had it and literally sat up it bed, pointed at the door and loud talked to "Knock first then wait..." She went out, knocked and walked right in again. "NO, again, you wait until permission!" Finally ok. She didn't do it again but once when I was totally naked. Her fault and I let her know.
Put down the rules firmly even if your DH doesn't. There are some privacy lessons kids need to learn.
As for the overtalk, I either walked away from the Convo (with DH) or told her enough (my friends and family). She learned.
I wish it was that simple. I
I wish it was that simple. I tried to reinforce the knock rule. We are never doing anything private so he wouldn't be barging in on anything except me getting dressed when I wake up before I go out. The annoying part is I know it becomes a barging in habit. The bathroom lock is broken and the door doesn't even close, so it is constantly ajar. He has almost walked in on me a few times but I screamed 'ahhhh!!!' so loudly in shock and pushes the door shut saying 'you didn't knock!!!' (and I'm not a screamer) that somehow he barges into bathroom less. The bedroom one is just annoyed.
night emergencies and us not hearing him with a locked door is moot because I'm a very light sleeper.
the reward of barging in is to get to snuggle up in bed with mum and get hugs and kisses, so that 'go out and knock again' doesn't exist. It's just a reward. I've told my partner so many times about getting him to knock but she's not consistent with it. Sometimes she asks him to go out and knock, most times she lets him into bed and starts kissing and cuddling him.
Its so hard to do this reinforcement thing on my own..... now I'm the evil stepmother who holds him to account for everything while mum can make empty threats and no follow through on what she's said. Gets away with everything with mum. Not me the evil step. Gosh he'll start hating me!
My SS14 is like that too. It
My SS14 is like that too. It drives me insane. He never shuts up and always talks nonsense like it's fact and his opinions are trash. He interrupts me and everyone else constantly despite being called on it all the time. Ugh! Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.