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BM seems to be getting on SD nerves...hahaha

bonusmom's picture

Submitted by bonusmom on Sat, 06/16/2007 - 10:30am

Ok so sd is visting for 2 weeks she has been here a week today...I have kept her pretty busy everyday because she doesn't come often and when she does its only for a couple of days, so we have been doing lots of stuff with the kids..so needless to say her mom is the last thing on her mind for no other reason than she is a kid and she is having fun...but I don't think BM is dealing well...she has called every day sometimes 2 or 3 times a day which to me is odd because when we lived closer and sd would come with us BM never called to check on her...I understand that we live 4 hours away but come on distance really doesn't make a difference in our parenting skills does it??? So the other day BM called right b4 dinner and sd didn't seem too excited to talk to her I wasn't really paying attention to what sd was saying but I did hear her say "NO YOUR NOT GETTING ON MY NERVES" in a real nasty tone...then hubby said that when sd got off the phone he asked sd if her mom was driving her nuts and she said "YOU HAVE NO IDEA" I think this is kinda funny just because like 2 days before sd came to visit hubby spoke to BM and she said to hubby "YOU DON'T REALLY THINK SD IS GOING TO STAY 2 WEEKS DO YOU??" Well I asked SD yesterday if she was getting home sick at all and she said "NO" and she is already planning the next trip...
My question is, Is it wrong of me to get irratated that BM calls so much.....

Comments

Persephone's picture

Submitted by Persephone on Sat, 06/16/2007 - 4:28pm

We have 50/50 and live about 1.5 miles from BM. When the skids are with BM we do not hear from the kids unless they want something. When the skids are with us, they call BM several times a day and she the same. It really irks me when they call her when they do not like a rule or something. Thankfully BM (because of her BF)is starting to say work it out.

I think that it should be an automatic law that the other parent can't call everyday when at the other parents house. I think it interferes with the quality time that the skids should be spending with each parent. The exception would be when the skids are really young 0-6, not 15 or 16.

Mocha2001's picture

Submitted by Mocha2001 on Sat, 06/16/2007 - 10:29pm

I agree with both statements, but we only have SS every other weekend, so for my DH to go 12 days without talking to his son is a bit much. But I agree, when you only have them for a short period of time, like our weekend time, it irritates me when BM calls. Now, week on week off ... probably okay to call once or twice per week, set days and set times (that's the GAL talking in me).

As for your specific situation, yes calling multiple times per day is irritating and uncalled for. Ask SD what she wants. You don't have to answer the phone every time she calls. Unplug the phone when you are eating dinner or having quality family time. Or have DH say she is interfering with the time, and he will certainly let DD call when she wants to talk to her mom, but once or twice per week is fine, not every day, several times per day. DH needs to step up and tell BM how it's going to be. But I'd ask DD how often she wnats to her mom to call.

~ Katrina

Cruella's picture

Submitted by Cruella (not verified) on Sat, 06/16/2007 - 11:16pm

BM does not buy her children one gift for Christmas or Birthday gift and hasn't for years. DH & I have scrape what little bit of money we have every year to get these children gifts. Yet BM has the audacity to want to call on Christmas morning and listen to the children open up the gifts WE bought them. I thought this took a lot of nerve. She didn't pay for the gifts. She didn't spend her time shopping and picking out the perfect gift just for them. My DH said sorry this is our party and she is NOT invited. They can talk to their Mom on Christmas AFTER we have our family time. If she wanted to spend a Christmas with them she can buy a plane ticket and come see her children and give them gifts herself. This is the kind of things we have to deal with.

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Sun, 06/17/2007 - 9:45am

And I wish we were so lucky as to have BM call "2 or 3" times a day. When SS is here (which he is this weekend) BM calls an average of about 20 times a day. Our answering machine is FULL of messages from HER saying "SS's cellphone BETTER be turned back on. You have no right to turn it off and I have the right to unimpeded contact with him blah blah blah". SS is so sick of his mom. Last night when we got home, BF played the 8 or 9 messages she'd left yesterday. SS looked at me and said "Do you want to talk to her? She'll talk to you all day and all night and all day and all night and ruin all your fun." I asked him if he wanted to call her, and he said "NoooOOOOOOooooo...if I do she'll keep me on the phone for HOURS asking me all these stupid questions about you and Dad and where we went and who was with us and if we went out of town and if we went out of the state and try to tell me I didn't have fun and nagnagnagnagnagnag!"

She thinks that just because she bought SS a cell phone that that gives her the right to call whenever she wants and keep him on the phone for as long as she wants. What she doesn't understand is that he doesn't want to talk to her, and we do NOT have to force him to! We're not the ones that turns off his cellphone, sister, that's YOUR SON!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Cruella's picture

Submitted by Cruella (not verified) on Sun, 06/17/2007 - 9:57am

BM sounds like she is turning her own son against her. That is a shame she can't just leave him alone.

Sebbie's picture

Submitted by Sebbie on Sun, 06/17/2007 - 10:39am

De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
I have been with dh for a little over 3 years now. Our first year together we saw ss occassionally for visitation( when bm decided dh could) but have not seen ss since Christmas of 2005. We are currently in the process of taking bm back to court for modifications in divorce decree(due to her constant interference with dh and ss visitations). Our Lawyer is very positive about the future outcome of this, and that is what scares me. Though it has hurt me to watch bm play games with dh over ss,I am scared about ss coming back into our home which has honestly been quite peaceful for over a year now. The fear comes into play because I know that when ss comes back into our home, bm is going to follow him in(so to speak). The non stop phone calls will start agian, the e-mails, the text messages, the threats, the accusations ect. Besides the fact that bm has had over a year and half now to play games with ss head in regards to dh, me and my biokids, and I am not sure how ss is going to even behave in our home now. I know all the peace we have had as a family is going to end, as bm was a nonstop pain in the butt before..thankgoodness for all of you, this will be my only place of peace and sanity when it all begins agian.I know I sound negative, but honestly I am just being realistic. Let the boundary setting begin agian.

Catch22's picture

Submitted by Catch22 on Sun, 06/17/2007 - 7:57pm

We too have not had SS here for 4 months and it has been peaceful. Not because we haven't seen SS, because we have not had BM degrading DH day after day. SS said the other day he might come for half the coming school holidays and I am scared...until S.Graham said that I couldn't put my finger on it, but yes, it's that SS comes and BM follows him in!!

About the phone calls...SS never gets a call from BM, if he stayed longer than 2 days, we would encourage him to ring her and say hi. One time he hurt himself quite badly on his bike and we told him to call and tell her what had happened, so if it got really bad and he had to go to the doctor, she would have been informed...4 messages and 2 days later, still no call from BM!! One extreme to another isn't it??

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*