UPDATE: DH takes care of ex wifes stepdaughter. Mom is on heroin

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Hello everyone, I am back with an update.

The grandmother called my Husband asking him for gaurdianship over his baby girl because thr ex wife is trying to have all of her children move in with her and her felon boyfriend. He told her no and said he would be filing an EPO out on his ex wife for his daughter, since her situation isn't stable and she is actively doing heroin.

My husband proceeded to file the paper work and he submitted it but the judge denied it because we filed the wrong paper work. (We can't go up there since we have work so we tried finsing the paper work online)

Since then the grandmother has been trying to persuade my husband to let his daughter live with her. She said she was on board at first but now her feelings have changed (I knew they would because she doesn't have the girls best interest at heart). He confided in her and told her his EXACT moves and everything he planned on doing.

The grandmother told her drug addicted daughter my husbands plan on taking his daughter, filing the EPO, he read the statement to her and she told her daughter as well. (He trusted her and thought she was on his side when she obviously was NOT.

Now the ex wife is texting my husband NONE stop about how "her system is clean" but she is "going to the clinic to make it look good for in the court" and how she's "going to get "Help". She actually put quotation marks around "Help". Smh she is calling him all types of names the B word and F U etc.

Now his confidence is low because he doesn't think he has a chance at winning the case because they had a nasty divorce and everything was granted in her favor.

Oh and the woman from the Cabinet for health and family services basically told us she would not accept our case because his daughter isn't living with the mom and because he doesn't know her address. (How are we supposed to know the ex wifes address if she moves around a lot?) Smh.

Today we are filing the correct paperwork and submitting that. We are also printing out text messages that the ex wife has been sending us plus her facebook posts where she admitted to being a heroin addict and where she calls her self "Asylum crazy" and how she "uses valium to calm her nerves" and how she been telling people "she needed to be put on mental medication" etc etc.

Do you guys think we have a shot? Now the ex wife knows our moves and the grandmother FINALLY showed my husband her true colors.

Any legal advice you guys can offer us?

My husband is so depressed now because of everything. His ex wife is the definition of the Tasmanian devil. We go friday to pick up the girls from the grandmothr and hopefully the ex wife doesn't try to come and fight him or me. (We shall see I guess)

Correction

Not gaurdianship. She called to have him give up his parental rights. Sorry for the mistake.

I was typing so fast I forgot

I was typing so fast I forgot to add that the grandmother told him to take her name out of the paperwork because she didn't want to have to fight with her daughter (ex wife) to get guardianship over the ex wifes other daughter. Then she went back and told her daughter everything he planned on doing to get his biological daughter to live with us.

Weird right? That just makes me think she doesn't care. I always had a weird feeling about that woman like her vibe was off and now I know why. It's because she's not a good person.

Yes, I do think you have a

Yes, I do think you have a shot! Keep this up: “Today we are filing the correct paperwork and submitting that. We are also printing out text messages that the ex-wife has been sending us plus her facebook posts where she admitted to being a heroin addict and where she calls herself "Asylum crazy" and how she "uses valium to calm her nerves" and how she been telling people "she needed to be put on mental medication" etc. etc.”

Never let these types of F’d-up people, if I may be so bold, win through intimidation. That’s all they have is intimidation. Anyone with a ½ brain should be able to see that your DH is clearly the better fit. You have ‘doing the right thing’ clearly on your side. However, having said that, I admit that the so-called justice system is very blinded by BMs and blood-relatives. A lot of people are (as you found out the hard way with “grandma”).

Yet, keep doing what you’ve been doing, because you know in your hearts you are right!! If in the end the court system fails her, then that is on them, completely.

Thank you so much! I

Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words. I hope the system doesn't fail us, but if they do we won't hesitate to try again.

1. Your husband needs to get

1. Your husband needs to get a lawyer of his own so that the process is followed correctly. You are losing precious time and may be making errors that will hurt his chances by trying to do it on your own without legal advice.

2. I can't imagine that a court would not be inclined to award custody (primary) to a stable biological parent that can provide a stable home. Unless you or your DH have a documented criminal history that would cause concern.. or have drug use issues yourselves.. and are able to provide a stable environment that is safe and loving.. it would seem he should have an excellent chance of custody.

3. What may go against him somewhat is that the grandmother has been a constant and stable part of her life too.. sometimes the court is not inclined to shake up a child's base of relationships.. but HE is the biological parent.. not the grandmother... if he can show he has tried for custody all along.. but the mom was the one that dropped the ball? the child is certainly young enough to adapt to living with him... though they may want her to have some time with grandma for continuity.

4. I cannot believe he shared his whole gameplan with grandma... from your earlier posts.. it was clear that grandma feels that SHE should be the primary caregiver for the child and is NOT inclined to want to give up time with her at all.. so I don't know why he thought she would not fight him if he tried to get more time with his child.

But.. in the end.. it really doesn't matter that he told her because it's really unlikely that mom can magically make herself heroin free.. even if she really wants to. If he has any communications from grandma on her attempt to take custody FROM him.. parental rights waiving etc.. he needs to have THAT brought up in court because that could be an indication that she is trying to alienate him as the girl's parent.. and take that from him.. which should not be allowed unless there is a valid reason why HE.. (or your household) is something she needs protection from.

Thank you for your advice! I

Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it.

1.) We don't have the funds to get a lawyer which is why we are trying to do it ourselves unfortunately.

2.) That's awesome. We don't have any issues what so ever. So I think everything should go smoothly. I have hope.

3.) Yes I agree. I think she should continue to see the grandma as well. He even told her he will still get the other little girl also, just alternating weekends. He was going to send his daughter with the grandma one weekend and have the other little girl come to our house one weekend.

4.) Yes! I couldn't believe it either. He knows how I feel about her so I had NO idea he told that woman his whole game plan. I only found out because the ex wife started texting his phone repeatedly. Smh he wants to see the good in everyone which is nice but right now is not the time for it.

I hope so. He believes EVERYTHING that she is telling him. She supposedly admitted herself into the clinic lastnight to get "help". She said "I got you watch this". She is intimidating him. He fears that woman for whatever reason. At this point she's a junky. She lost like 50% of the body weight she previously had. Her breasts look like deflated grocery bags (Her mother told us). She looks so sickly now, I don't think she actually went to the clinic because she is too far gone.

I think he does have communications actually, I will check with him. I know that they communicate over the phone a lot but also through texting as well.

That is very smart I didn't think to get text messages from the grandmother. After all that is who he has been communicating with since the mother became absent.

She's trying ti make him feel bad anout what he is doing. She called him on facetime yesterday and was fake bawling her eyes out saying "She can't stand to see the girls separated" and "Her new husband is upset about the girls being split up." "She trying to hold it together and not cry in front od them." No one actually cares that her daughter is a drug addict and she is constantly coming in and out of the childrens lives. I just don't understand.

This is not something you can

This is not something you can do yourself. DH cannot afford to get this wrong. You need an exparte hearing. Make the funds available, borrow, take a loan out, etc.

That is very true. I told him

That is very true. I told him I'd give him my whole paycheck for however long to go to a lawyer for him plus the little extra he has after paying bills. I just spoke with him and told him what you ladies have been telling me and he says he wants to file the paper work and turn that in and if it gets denied then he wants to get a lawyer.

He says the lawyer is $100.00+/hr and if they have paperwork to do then the rate is still the same. That sounds pretty expensive. We aren't wealthy what so ever, just comfortable. He also told me that lawyers have retainer fees that can be $1,200.00-3,000.00.

I feel like if his ex wife is representing herself like she does everytime then he can win because he has the evidence and proof. She has nothing but her word.

TMI is a thing and "loose

TMI is a thing and "loose lips sink ships". DH needs to keep his mouth shut regarding his plans and actions while milking his XMIL for information to further his case.

We never gave the SpermClan any information prior to a court case other than what was specifically mandated by the courts. They got financial information but that was about it. Everything else we just smacked them with in real time in front of the Judge. There is nothing like egging them into tantrums and hissy fits for the enjoyment of the courts while aggressively defending the best interests of the Skid..

Oh yeah, I agree with you. He

Oh yeah, I agree with you. He Definitely regrets telling her anything now smh. Yes he has been trying to milk her but also while giving out information which defeats the purpose lol smh.

That's exactly what I wanted to do. Keep everything quiet until it was time for them to meet in court but it's too late for that now.

3.) Yes I agree. I think she

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NOT A GOOD IDEA...Granny is BM's mother, correct? Please, unless Granny has told you, dh and the court she will NOT allow her herion addicted daughter time the baby until she is clean and sober 1 to 2 years. DO NOT DO NOT fall for Grannys bs.

I have been down this road and the road is not a good road.

Think about it, Granny and Grannys daughter still had ties UP and in till the child was removed correct? There you have it.

Granny has enabled her daughter.

DO not think for one second when BM case is resolved she will not fight to get the child back. Usually they win.

IF Granny has custody---child support will continue full force.

Next do NOT be so quick to agree in writing or otherwise for visitation with granny and kid. "I WILL think about it"...may work or have your lawyer figure out a way to say NO. Grannys like this play nice, and act like loving, sweet innocent. But she will be the first to drag a minor kid into jail to visit a drug addict who still has the shakes from detox.

It is ok to say no visitation at this time, focus is on child ONLYYYYYYYY.

Hey, I agree with you 100%.

Hey, I agree with you 100%. He just feels bad about separating the girls so he's thinking with his emotions.

The only reason I say his little girl should continue to see the grandma is because that's basically who she has been with since my husband divorced his ex wife. Ex wife went home to mama like she ALWAYS does and dropped her kids off and never looked back. SD is used to her grandmother and her other sister. We don't want things to be too traumatic for her but I definitely understand where you're coming from.

I hate the fact that the grandmother lets her daughter around the girls whenever she wants to come and play mommy for a week, I think that's mentally exhausting for both of them.

You are absolutely right

You are absolutely right about the crap that a toxic GrandHag can perpetrate against kids and new families. They far too often have some commitment to a failed family that no longer exists and have what can be a rabid need to control their GKids and an X of their own toxic child. Even if their child does not give a shit about their own children and even if their own child is a POS with zero redeeming qualities at all.

SpermGrandHag was our particular toxic blended family opposition cross to bear even though the Spermidiot (SpermGrandHag's POS serial statutory rapist gang banger wannabe dipshitiot of a son) had zero interest in having a relationship with any of his four all out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas. SpermGrandHag made it her idiot calling to continue to drown all four of her Spermidiot son's spawned GKs in the shallow and polluted end of their gene pools.

Now that they are all adults, the eldest two detest the Spermidiot. Those being my son and his sister. While my son can't stand the Spermidiot, his sister viscerally detests the Spermidiot to the point that she addresses him as "asshole", continually lambasts and ridicules him, etc... Oddly, she and the SpermGrandHag are extremely close. The youngest two are hell bent on being successful as gangbanger criminals where their Spermidiot failed. They have an advantage at that goal that the Opie Cunningham looking Spermidiot does not have in his quest to be a Crip or a Blood. The two youngest are biracial. The Spermidot has lived his gangbanger dreams tragically and vicariously through his two youngest children.

The police in SpermLand are well versed in the Spermidiot's criminal goals and his fostering his two youngest to be successful where he was just a pathetic poser as a criminal gangbanger.

In toxic blended family situations, be very, very wary of GrandHags.

In my experience they can be extremely toxic and dangerous to the COD population and toxic and disruptive to a blended family and the blended family marriage.

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UPDATE: DH takes care of ex wifes stepdaughter. Mom is on heroin