My SD and DH had a falling out 7 months ago and SD moved out. On her way out she said some really nasty things about her dad, threatened to call the police (for items she left behind and wanted) and stuck us with a car payment once she procured a new vehicle. She refused to speak to DH for 6 months. During that time her and her BM posted disparaging memes on FB about DH and she posted pictures with DH 2nd wife's kids (who she supposedly hated and had bragged she broke DH and wife #2 up). On her 21st bday I encourged DH to post a "happy birthday" message to her. After that they reconnected for lunch and made amends.
The problem is now she's CONSTANTLY around, calling or texting. She went 6 months on her own and now if she can't find her health insurance card she's blowing up DH's phone, she asks his opinion about everything and can't seem to make a decision without him. At first SD was at our house everyday, just popping in and eating our food, then off again. Its so disruptive and our quiet life had become her chaotic playground. Then it stopped and she recently began inviting him places without extending an invitation to me. I really haven't wanted to go (that's their time) but I did think it was rude she seemed to be purposely excluding me. Of course, I've encouraged him to go everytime. The last excursion was fathers day.
I'm not sure what was said but DH came back irritated. When I asked how things went, he got angry and accused me of being jealous of SD. Then he said I was a "dictator" and he could have whomever he wanted at our house with or without my approval. To be clear, I never said SD couldn't come over.... she did for awhile, then she just stopped...... but I had expressed to DH that she was spending ALOT of time over. DH said SD felt "uncomfortable" around me and that it was obvious to her that I didn't like her. (It's not that I don't like her - I don't trust her or her intentions. I can't just get over the nastiness she caused 7 months ago and open my arms to her as DH has done.) Regardless, I've been kind and polite to her everytime she's been around the last month. Anything I said was exclusively to DH.
DH just left again with SD to go on their 3rd fathers day event. I'm cringing to think how she will manipulate him this time and what absurdity I will have to defend when he gets back. I guess I should have never pushed him to say happy brithday....... No good deed goes unpunished. Hopefully, she isn't trying to break us up.