Hi,

I have two stepdaughters. I've been in their lives for the past 5 years. The oldest and worst is 14 and a freshman in highschool and the younger one is 11 years old. Their mom is not in the picture at all. She was into drugs and the judge ordered her to complete rehab and submit to regular drug testing so she took off about 8 years ago. Both girls have been through counseling, especially the older one. I've tried everything that I know to get the girls to understand that there are consequences to their actions and they have to accept responsibility for their actions, but they don't think any of the above applies to them. At the age of 10 the oldest one stole money from a neighbor by pretending to play hide and seek with his little girl. She went up to their bedroom and stole money from their closet. She was caught in the act and lied about it. She came home and continued to lie to me. We found out what actually happened through our neighbors who are the nicest people in the world. I felt terrible about it and we made her give back the money she hadn't already spent and then made her earn money and give that to our neighbor and of course go back to them and apologize for her actions. She was mad because we made her pay them back and we made her apologize. She didn't learn anything. That same year she submitted an application for a reward at her school. She lied on the form and stated that she was doing voluntary work at a hospital reading books to children, volunteered at the animal shelter, raked people's lawns for free, etc. She did none of the above and would never volunteer a day in her life. She received this award. When I found out about the award ceremony (only one award issued per school in the state) I was angry about her lies. I talked to my husband and he said just let her accept the award. I felt that was just supporting her devious behavior and rewarding her deceit. He became angry with me and took her shopping for a new dress and then took her to the award ceremony to accept an award based on total lies! I decided to call her out on her lies anyway and told her that she essentially took that award from another child that actually did deserve it. she just looked at me like I was crazy and it didn't matter how she got the award as long as she got it. Fast forward to now and we've had nothing but lies, stealing money from us and constantly stealing my things. We had to put a key lock on our bedroom door and keep it locked so she doesn't continue to steal my things. She has taken my clothes, sold my things out of our garage for money, sneak out at night an roam the neighborhood with other punks, and all along my husband continues to accept it. He gets mad at her but doesn't want to expend the energy to do anything about it. The younger one is now starting to lie constantly about trivial things and she has also started stealing small things, usually from me. I can't stand coming home except to see my dog. These girls also eat like two year olds. I can't believe the way they hold their hand in their plate and will not use utensils--only as an afterthought. I get after them for stuffing their mouths so full that food is coming out as they are eating, food smeared all over their faces while they eat, all over their hands, it's disgusting. I have a very hard time disguising my feelings anymore. I've told them exactly what I think of their behavior, told them they act like they are two years old, lecture them on right and wrong and my husband just takes them shopping. They go out to eat every single night, Monday through Friday. I come home and they're gone. Although I like coming home and not seeing them as soon as I walk through the door; I'm dissappointed that he takes them out to dinner every night. They won't even eat dinner at home anymore. They expect to be taken out to dinner. Sorry for venting so much--it's my first time on this site and I have so much more to say, but I'm tired. I'm tire of feeling resentful, angry and bitchy. I used to be so happy and carefree--why did I get married into this???