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I just don't know how much longer I can take this

bewitched's picture

Yet another migraine today, and they are coming more and more frequently. And I know what the cause is; the constant tension. Even when H is away at work, the tension is there because of him calling 15 times a day.

If you all remember my Halloween post, about my missing son, and H's total lack of caring because he was too busy focusing on SD17's fun and pleasure to give me 15 minutes of uninterrupted time. But this weekend, which was for SD13, and SD17 calling, bawling over the bling sneakers, he sure interrupted his time with us (SD13 and myself) to listen, to calm her, to soothe the poor baby. Over shoes for crying out loud. Thinking back to my sons, they acted like that when they were 5 and 3, not at 17!

Sorry, keep going back over it in my mind...I can't come to terms with this man treating his 17 yr old daughter like a precious infant whose demands must be met immediately. And if I ever hear the word "babe" again, I think I'll scream.

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now4teens's picture

I've been dealing with migraines since I was 14-yrs-old. Really bad ones. Sensitivity to sound, light, nausea, auras, the whole nine yards. During high school I would wrap a bandana around my head, close the blinds and take massive doses of Tylenol. I don't know how I made it through classes, as I never told my parents just how bad they were.

The only time I didn't get them badly & frquently was when I was pregnant! (Still not a good enough reason to have kids Wink )

The first time I actually went to a neurologist was when I was 30. I was sure I had to have a tumor! I went through the gamut of meds, so many I can't remember all the ones I 've been put on.

When I was 31, I was diagnosed with Raynaud's Phenomenon, a blood vessel disease, which dialates the capillaries of your fingers & toes- exaserbated by stress & cold. I almost lost 2 toes because of it (which would have sucked for sandal season).
And because of that, now I'm limited as to what I can take, because a lot of the meds are contraindicated for people with blood vessel issues- like Imitrex, which works great (so I'm told).

Anyway, right now, I'm on Topamax as a maintenance and then Frova when I get one- which (because of all the stress in my life- thanks SD16, BM and DH) is like 6 a month!

My neurologist first asked me if there was anything I could do to cut down on my stress level, which would help BOTH the Raynaud's and the reduction in frequency of migraines....I said, "Gee, divorce my husband and move to Florida?"

So I hear ya, Bewitched, I can definitely "feel" your pain. Those who have never suffered through a maigraine don't know what we go through.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I've actually been taking the Imatrex for the migranes, but really need to talk to my Dr. about that. I know when I take the Imatrex, my arms go numb. My Reynaud's gets so bad this time of year; I find myself drinking huge amounts of coffee or hot water just because the cup is warm. But Imatrex is the only relief I've found for the migrane. And today it's a bad one. Really really bad.

I've been seeing alot about Boxtox treatment for migranes for those of us who shouldn't be taking the Imatrex. Along with the Reynaurds, I also have Thoracic Outlet Syndrom, which cuts some of the blood flow to one arm also.

Gonna call my doctor.

now4teens's picture

Gee, Bewitched, I didn't know there was another weirdo out there like me! Wink Every time I go to the neurologist, he gets SO annoyed. He wants to try all sorts of new meds, but then I ask, "How's that gonna affect the Raynaud's?" and he gets this frustrated look on his face.

Frova is also in the "Triptan" family, but supposedly (or so he tells me) it's ok for people with blood vessel diesase to take. I do feel colder when I take it, especially now with the temps dropping, but it does knock them out pretty quickly if I take it as soon as I feel it coming on. And then I grab my gloves!

I actually have an appointment with a Rhuemetologist in early December to see if there's any new developments in the Raynaud's front. It's been 10yrs since I last saw someone and just want to make sure. So if I find out anything, I'll let you know. This doc I'm seeing is associated with University of Pennsylvania, so they're a pretty good hospital and should have all the latest info.

I'm also on a waiting list for a migraine study at Penn. That's one of the good things about living in my area- I'm about 1 hour from all the Philly hospitals, so the health care is very good.

I don't know about the arm numbness with you- I'd be worried about that!

By the way, have you tried "Head On"? That OTC balm you rub on your temple/back of your neck? It doesnt take away the pain complteley of course, but it does feel good while you're waiting for the pain to stop.

Hang in there- I totally know what you're going through. Nothing's worse than waking up with one of those buggers! I had one on Thursday night at 4:30am and didn't get rid of it completely til Saturday afternoon.

Hugs!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

now4teens's picture

Gee, Bewitched, I didn't know there was another weirdo out there like me! Wink Every time I go to the neurologist, he gets SO annoyed. He wants to try all sorts of new meds, but then I ask, "How's that gonna affect the Raynaud's?" and he gets this frustrated look on his face.

Frova is also in the "Triptan" family, but supposedly (or so he tells me) it's ok for people with blood vessel disease to take. I do feel colder when I take it, especially now with the temps dropping, but it does knock them out pretty quickly if I take it as soon as I feel it coming on. And then I grab my gloves!

I actually have an appointment with a Rhuematologist in early December to see if there's any new developments in the Raynaud's front. It's been 10yrs since I last saw someone and just want to make sure. So if I find out anything, I'll let you know. This doc I'm seeing is associated with University of Pennsylvania, so they're a pretty good hospital and should have all the latest info.

I'm also on a waiting list for a migraine study at Penn. That's one of the good things about living in my area- I'm about 1 hour from all the Philly hospitals, so the health care is very good.

I don't know about the arm numbness with you- I'd be worried about that!

By the way, have you tried "Head On"? That OTC balm you rub on your temple/back of your neck? It doesnt take away the pain complteley of course, but it does feel good while you're waiting for the pain to stop.

Hang in there- I totally know what you're going through. Nothing's worse than waking up with one of those buggers! I had one on Thursday night at 4:30am and didn't get rid of it completely til Saturday afternoon.

Hugs!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Keep me posted. I'll be very interested in what you find out.

It's been years since I was diagnosed with the Reynards; at that time the only permanet solution was having the nerves to my hands severed. Not a good idea. I was also told to move to a warmer climate. Not gonna happen right now.

I'll be putting in a call for an appointment w/my dr. Used my last Imatrex so we'll see what he has in mind!

Sarah101's picture

I have suffered migraines for my entire life! A little less lately after my hysterectomy this summer.

I am also a statistician. This is evidence that women who suffer migraines are attracted to men who are in love with their own daughters! That's IT!

I see a PhD dissertation, a book, Oprah, a national tour--the works!!

now4teens's picture

(Spitting out mouthful of water as reading Sarah's post!)

...and we obviously ALL have a terrific sense of humor! Because if we didn't laugh at the incredible insane situation we're in, we'd probably be institutionalized at this point!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

And wouldn't it be interesting to make our H's see their relationships with their daughters aired on national TV? Sign me up! Picture the fall out....after O, Dr. Phil would certainly pick up on it, (tho it sounds more like a Jerry topic, huh?)

Endora's picture

Pictures-

My DH was so oblivious to SS's social impairments-it was only in photographs depicting such things at family get togethers as

Public thumbsucking at 14
Hanging off his Father all night
Chewing toenails in front of me instead of cutting them with clippers (want to talk about GROSS-I'll take a few "hairs in the pudding" from an earlier post) :O
Carrying a blanket and pillow around at night at 14
Taking over adult conversations, adult time and their shows etc-
Absoultely no sense of boundaries or personal space
Following me around like a lost puppy

I tried being nice
I tried talking things out
I tried house rules

Captain Oblivious just said "Yep Yep Yep Uh huh Uh huh" -you are right dear! Skipping off into the sunset holding Zippy's hand-If that was a girl with big boobs I would be dead in the water!

Same old s$&t, different day

Our families of origins were walking on eggshells -embarrassed for us with this overgrown infant-yet wanting to spare "poor helpless feel sorry for me" guilt parented Zippy-someone had to wake up and smell the coffee or I was out the door!

Finally the photos got to him-and a few well timed blow ups on my part calling a spade a spade

Things are improving and I am happy to report Zippy has changed his backward ways in most cases.

What kills me is I can see this kid a success inspite of such dysfunctional parenting-

His marks are phenominal,no drugs, no truancy, does his own laundry, makes his own lunch now and is job hunting- He will end up some kind of tall Bill Gates-and I will end up eating crow

Geez maybe the NEW way of parenting works in the end??
I shudder to think!

Hey -but then I always have those pictures }:)

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Maybe it's an age thing here, but I found the show disgusting.
One episode showed a father showing his daughter how to put a condom on using a cucumber! I haven't watched it since I saw that.

So maybe this is all so common place, so accepted, that Oprah just wouldn't be interested. Or Dr. Phil. But I do still think Jerry Springer would!

I'm so glad to hear Zippy is improving! But keep the pictures handy.

StepLightly's picture

Have any of you tried Botox for your migranes? It's AMAZING, and doesn't affect other illnesses. We do this at our clinic all the time and people are completely off of their migrane meds. Message me if you have any questions about it.

alanna's picture

I too have suffered migraines since I was 14 when I lost my mother suddenly. They always fluctuate with the amount of stress, except while pregnant, but I'm not that desperate. Since we're going through CS Mod, Cust Mod, and CPS invests BM, AGAIN, I don't know if I'm coming or going. The best thing I've found for pain is a midol-max and a hot bath, but I'm very petite. Regular yoga has made them almost completely disappear. I get up early in the morning as to not be bothered, and when I am, I pretend I'm deaf. Everyone knows that this is my time and unless someone is on fire, I will not respond. They are welcome to join, but NEVER interrupt. They actually have fun trying the advanced poses. Really, even just a few minutes can help ease the pain. All my other body aches and oddities disappear too, even PMS, and the stress seems to affect me less and less. But has anyone ever been successful in holding a full crane position when an anxiety attack hits? As far as H goes, he's the biggest baby in the family, so when I need 5 seconds of less harassment, I refuse even the smallest request until he at least hears me. He knows he'd starve if it wasn't for me, because he has. Google "yoga for (your symptoms)" and at least try it.