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H just continues to amaze me-how can anyone be so irresponsible?

bewitched's picture

Just went to the tax preparers office yesterday, to get our taxes done so I can see about financial aide for school. Ummm-BEFORE we got married, I told h he needed to get his taxes taken care of. I even helped him put together all his papers for '06 & 07 (this was last April). Ok. all done, sent it. checked off.

So I go tripping to the tax prep's office yesterday, only to find out H did not file in 2003, 04, 05! What a mess. How can this man even get away with all this crap? He had a restaurant for some of those years-I'm sure, by the time she gets those taxes finished up, he'll owe tons in employer withholding for all his waitresses and cooks! WTF!!!

I've married a nitemare. A financial nightmare is exactly what he is.

His job is really slow right now, he won't be getting OT (which made it lucrative), sits on his butt most days. So what does he do this weekend? Yep. Came home and spent $300 on a toolbox. A toolbox-when the hot water heater won't heat enough water for one bath!

Yep. Another rant about H. And how dumb I was to marry him.

Oh, but he says he now has me broken in. Yep. He sure does. I'm afraid to say anything negative to him about any of the above. What do I think about the toolbox? Can't say that. How do I feel about finding out he hasn't filed income tax returns for about 8 years? Can't say anything about that either. But he can ream me over the grocery bill. He is a total complete A@@HOLE!

I really really regret marrying him. I don't know about my future at all now...but I do know that IF I can complete school, all this pent up rage, and having the financial freedom to let it fly, is gonna come crashing down on his balding head.

Thanks-had to get that out. The stress is gonna kill me.


belleboudeuse's picture

What a horrible, horrible, horrible man. I really feel for you. Want we should all get together and teach him a lesson? }:)

sarahbernheart's picture

a rather large black frying pan AND know how to use it!!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Sia's picture

know how in the world you live with that man???? :?

imagr8tma's picture

I don't know if i could put up with that. He will have to get on some type of payment plan for IRS if he can't pay them upfront.

Those plans are not low and they usually don't work well for the people paying them cause they can be like paying another mortgage.

Damn - i would have to smack the fire out of him.

I used to work for IRS and i hated to hear of innocent spouses when their loved ones owned businesses and didnt file. It is horrible.

Sasha's picture

I wonder if you would be able to get an annulment based on the fact this man is a complete and utter fraud.

Ordinarily I would encourage you to stay in school, but these are not ordinary circumstances. Do you think you would even be able to stay with him for the next two years, the way things are now, and try to get through school? What is your gut instinct saying to you?

All of us here want only the best for you. I don't want to speak for the others, but I want you to know that whatever decision you feel is best for you, I will support you 100%!

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

It seems like every time I turn around, it's something else he didn't take care of before we married, something more to the point where I try just not to think about him & his load of garbage while I focus on my studies.

I continue to watch for jobs-don't know what else to do. There was a job open at the chemical place I worked previously, but it filled quickly. While I was debating whether to keep in class or try for the job.

Everyday, more of the same. Today, for instance, H told me how hours have been cut so WE REALLY NEED TO WATCH OUR SPENDING.

Ummm. This weekend he bought the $300 toolbox. Weekend before-he spent $400 spoiling SD17. In the last two weeks he loaned money to 4 co-workers. And all I've bought has been groceries. Buy groceries and study-that's my life. Yet since he has now spent a wad on himself & his kid, it's time to watch spending. Very nice, very convenient for him, huh?

An annulment won't work-you have to prove fraud-and not financial fraud, in this state to get annuled. Trust me, I looked into a month after we were married.

Last weekend, when he came home, I had a box of chocolates for him, and a pretty package with a couple of belts in it for a gift for him, and a lovely card. Because he wouldn't be here on Valentines day. So then he bought himself the toolbox. Guess what? I got a tuplip.

No, the answer is I can't take this for 2 more years. You're right. I'm just continuing my studies (really would like to at least finish A & P) and keeping my eyes open for a decent job. So at least I'm not just sitting here in a poor job market-at least I'm doing something productive. Maybe having completed A & P will help me get on at the medical clinic. Who knows.

Angel's picture

of this with irresponsible men (sorry guys). All of my single girlfriends own their own home, have retirement and are pretty much out of debt. The single men are a mess---- They find one of these lonely women with their act together and drag them down buying tool boxes when they need a water heater/starting a business & quitting their day job/buying an expensive pet instead of insurance/etc etc etc. I could give you examples til the cows come home----

I would dump that guy --------- you made a mistake. You can fix a mistake. He can't fix himself.


Hanny's picture

He's going to bring you down with him if you don't watch out. I don't know what state your in...but in's 50/50. How do you know he's not running up bills now that he's not paying...if you get divorced..your responsible for half in this state. I took my ex to court because I was being sued for a credit card he said he would pay and I said I would pay off one. he didn't pay, they came after me, so I took ex to court, he wasn't working and the judge said I was just as responsible as he was to pay the creditor...the creditor doesn't care about what is split up in a divorce. And since they couldn't get him to pay and they couldn't garnish his salary because there was none...I'm the next best thing. The judge said 'you can't get blood out of a turnip'. I was furious...but ended up paying it off AND the bills I had agreed to pay.

If he's been irresponsible in the past...he hasn't changed! There might be things your not aware of.

Tara12's picture

You can not continue on living a lie with this man. I know school is important to you and you should not give that up. BUT I worked 10 hours a day and went to school at night for almost 3 years to get my degree in business. This is while I had a teenage son - and I was a single parent - meaning I was getting no support money or otherwise period. I was already in my mid-30s. If I can do it and a lot of other ladies on here can do it - YOU CAN TOO! You just have to have faith in yourself and yes it is hard and you get 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night sometimes but it will be worth it in the long run. It is better than having to put up with this man who is nothing but a liar, a manipulator and a FRAUD. Do not put the blame on yourself - how the hell where you supposed to know he was going to be a lemon! Smile We all have made mistakes and you know what we do? We pick ourselves up and keep going. Good luck to you girl!