You are here

Do you think my H is bi-polar? I actually felt normal last nite and this morning

bewitched's picture

or should I say H acted like a normal husband-for 2 whole days now. Like the apology I received over the phone yesterday morning.
Then last nite (H is back-is is working to 2 days 30 miles from here). There was no picking at me, critizing me, and he called this morning to thank me and tell me how lucky he is to have me.

This has me really confused-not about my goals, I am maintaining my quest for financial freedom. But I'm thrown, totally. Last nite, I had a hot meal fixed for when he got home-normal. And washed his work clothes for him-normal. He thanked me for supper and sat in the easy chair to watch TV-normal. He called this morning to thank me for taking care of him last nite-normal. All this normal behavior from H is messing with my mind. Its so out of character for him.

But I can't stress to you all how unusual this is. Generally, when H comes home for the weekend, he's nice thru supper. Then he finds something, anything, that is not perfect to critize me over. And the following day, there's always something I've done wrong.

Is this signs of bi-polar to you who have followed my threads and are familiar of maniac-depression? I can tell you that the only times his behavior towards me falls with the "realm of normalcy" is when I go to visit him at the apartment. Then life is anything but normal as all meals are eaten out, we run here, run there-all recreational. But aleast he doesn't act as tho he hates me when I'm there.

Comments

happywmh's picture

He's acting like this I doubt he's bipolar. I wonder if he is finally starting to appreciate you? Keep an eye on it - I wonder how long it will last! Wink

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

on Thanksgiving. Thank God my son will be here. No H-SD17 tag team. Won't happen with my son around-or, as he (son) has said, "Mom, if he treats you like this when I'm around, I'll kick his a$$ out".

I don't think it's that he's starting to appreciate me-there's more to it than that.

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I think he's up to something-just don't know what it is. Last Sunday (the day I cleaned the roofs) we had a big blowout. Big.

When we went to visit his mother in the nursing home, I was very quiet. H said "You look sad". H's mother looked at me and said "yes, you do look so sad". I said nothing. H wanted to go out to eat (of course he did SD17 was with us) before leaving for home. On the way into the restaurant he leans towards me and says "This isn't going to work. We're not going to make it". And then expected me to go into the restaurant with his kids and play happy families. Of course, I didn't. I sat down in the booth. He pretended all was fine. I called my son. Told him-right in front of skids-what was going on. This, of course, pi$$ed H off. I got up and left-went to sit in the Jeep until they were done eating. H follows shortly after. Comes into the Jeep. Please come in and eat with us...I attempt to explain that you do not tell someone your marriage is over and then expect them to calmly sit down and eat a meal with you. So he's all please,please, beg, beg, love you. Sorry, blah blah blah.

The point? The point is I let his kids see what was going on-his secret little whispers to me about splitting up were out. Remember, this is the roof weekend, the weekend he threw trash on the floor for his slave to clean up.

So, my guess is-I'm quite certain he talked to SD17 on the phone after he left that day. I'd bet everything on it. What transpired in the conversation, I have no idea. BUT h mentioned this week on the phone that skids love and respect me. Hmmm. I'm not getting that from SD17 at all. But I know she loves having this escape from her mom's here. I know she loves coming here and being pampered by her father.

I smell a rat.

KittyKat's picture

that when someone is being NORMAL to you, you have to QUESTION
whether or not they are bipolar???

I'm willing to bet it's TRUE that, no matter how SD treats you,
she really DOES like you and would hate to see you go. For all
the trouble my SDs have given me, I know they appreciate A LOT
of the "classy" things I've done for them (buying them china for
their showers, etc.) that no one has ever done for them. They
know that when I get them a GIFT, it will be NICE and they
appreciate it.

That's where I hold much POWER here. They (my SDs) know that
their dad would be DEVASTATED should we ever split up. All and
all, we are happy. It's just when the "CRAZY PEOPLE" show up
that we really are at odds.

Maybe now that your H knows you "doormat" days are over, he's
finally going to take notice. Who knows. But BW has to worry
about BW, to hell with them for now!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

Sarah101's picture

How truly bipolar can he be if he is able to control his behavior this well?

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

That's true. And the games continue...

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I now know why H is being nice-he just informed me that his d's are going to spend both Thanksgiving nite and Fri. nite here. That was their (the 3 of thems) decision. Again, I was not asked.

H knows my son will be here-he see's his brats every weekend-I see my son occastionally. They live only 30 miles from here-wow, that's a long drive home, isn't it? My son lives 5 hours from here.

Guess what girls? I'm going to ask my son which bedroom he wants first-it will be his choice.

F'em all. Why the he11 would he do this knowing my son will be here-why, when it's only 30 minutes for his precious darlings to drive?

I knew I smelled a rat!

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I AM SO MAD! H worked 30 miles from here today-and he's known that it's my mothers birthday for quite some time. This afternoon, my sister is coming, we'll have cake, her gift...what's H doing? Playing poker with his buddies. Say's he'll stop in & say hi to my mother later!

I really don't want H around Mom anyway-it's the principal. On mothers day (which was my birthday this year) what'd we do? Go to his sisters for a celebration for H's mom. Took my folks a hamburger (fast food) and spent about 20 minutes with them, after spending ALL day at his sisters. His mother's birthday was a couple of months ago. By golly, we all had to go spend the whole day at his sister for H's mother. I am so steamed.

My folks own this house, my folks ask for no rent, the only thing H has done to help my folks out since we married 6 months ago is holding the damned ladder while I cleaned the roof. I've had it. That psycho S.O.B. Well, SD13's birthday is exactly one month from now-think I'll have a girls nite out that evening. What's good for the goose, after all, is good for the gander.

SerendipitySM's picture

Bewitched - I think he is being so nice to you because he and his daughters enjoy the luxury of living in your home. He is realizing that if the 2 of you split up, he will back on his kids with his kids and they will ahve to find an apartment and start from stratch - I most definitely smell a rat!! This guy is a master manipulator - stand your ground hun!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin