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So far...

Becky's picture

Submitted by Becky on Wed, 02/14/2007 - 6:56pm

I'm probably speaking too soon but so far there has only been one interruption from bm this week (and the phone went to voice mail and, better yet, no message). What a change from last week (we were interrupted daily with her drama). I'm sure I haven't seen the end of the interruptions but at least dh has started taking charge. He made an appointment with the dentist for the oldest ss to get a referral for braces (this was done the last time ss went to the dentist but bm failed to follow through). I was very surprised to see that dh did this. He is usually the one to let her do it (where has that gotten them so far????). I think he might realize that bm just doesn't do things for her youngest two children (dh's boys). She is fully capable of making appointments, keeping things straight and all when it comes to what she is interested in and if it benefits her (she'd be at a special ed meeting in a heartbeat-and even set it up-if it meant she could collect more SSI). We'll see if dh says anything to her about the appointment. I'd be surprised if he didn't tell her. We have conferences tomorrow night for the oldest ss. Those will go fine. Last night we had conferences for the youngest ss. We saw the list of parents and she wasn't on it for either night. Not surprising but very disappointing. She knows better. She knows she should be going (she has gone in the years before and even in the fall but she now has too much of a social life to go).
Only 4 more days she can interrupt....we'll see. This might be a record week for fewest interruptions... Smile

Comments

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Wed, 02/14/2007 - 8:53pm

I know exactly how you feel, counting down the days, dreading her next call, wondering what drama she's going to stir up next... Here's hoping for a peaceful and uninterrupted week for you and yours Smile

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Becky's picture

Submitted by Becky on Thu, 02/15/2007 - 5:43pm

That is just it! Counting down...only 3 more she can intrude upon. We have conferences for older ss tonight and I can just see her showing up as a "surprise" just because. Thanks for your support! I may need it! Wink

Becky's picture

Submitted by Becky on Thu, 02/15/2007 - 7:05am

If she showed that she cared about the children, a missed appointment wouldn't matter. Even if I didn't have to deal with her on a personal level her motives for not wanting to do things for her boys would still be there. She has been a mother for 21 years (child at 16) and is tired of being a mother. The braces, for ss, are very important. He has a speech problem and part of it is due to the way his teeth are in his mouth. They are very important to get because once corrected, he'll be able to pronounce words better and people will be able to understand him (it takes effort to understand him and he gets frustrated a lot because he has to repeat things). I realize life gets busy for everyone (and no, I've never missed an appointment) but I just need to vent about the well-being of skids. Isn't that what this website is for, venting?

Little Jo's picture

Submitted by Little Jo on Thu, 02/15/2007 - 11:43am

Gosh, we have so many battles coming up.
The braces thing is going to be interesting and we will broach this one in the next week or so.
I understand completely where Becky is coming from.
The 9 year old has a train wreck in her mouth. The first time I met her I knew she needed braces yesterday. But last month while she was here she said a tooth was bothering her. I looked in her mouth and nearly shit my-self. She has a bunch of holes in her teeth!
So yeah, I'm pissed at this BM. How could you spend money on bullshit things when this kid needs help bad?
In the year I've have been with BF, 9 y.o. hasn't been to the dentist once. BM is passed missing an appointment, she's missing the POINT.
I went to schedule the appointment with the orthodontist the other day, but they said they need an up-dated Denist record. We have to ask BM what insurance she has on these girls. It will be interesting to see BM's reaction to us taking control of the situation.

Jo

Becky's picture

Submitted by Becky on Thu, 02/15/2007 - 4:05pm

Last week we had to ask BM the same thing about insurance. She hasn't had it on the skids since last MAY! We could have added skids to our insurances via open enrollment but when we tried to get them in after it closed (you can add/take away for various things that happen throughout the year) we found out that skids would have had to lose their insurance within 30 days of adding him during the year. They have to wait until next open enrollment for us to add them. BM NEVER SAID A WORD about it. All she said was, I'm taking care of it. Like she was taking care of the 10 year old's education (he was failing the 4th grade and she didn't bother to tell us--the school didn't write down dh's address this year and apparently can't keep the records from year to year [I totally don't understand this because our district sure keeps things but he said he has to go in every year and add himself to the emergency enrollment card and put himself back in their computer system]). If she takes care of the insurance thing like she took care of the 4th grade failure, we're doomed. She constantly says she's handling things or doing this and that and dh believes her. She ISN"T doing things and hasn't done s**t to help those boys. Okay, the insurance thing that you mentioned is a sore spot.

stamina's picture

Submitted by stamina on Thu, 02/15/2007 - 6:25pm

Do you think that if for some strange reason, biomom somehow dropped off the face of the earth, your step family problems would be over? Or just beginning? So is the biomom really your biggest problem? Or if you were in the parental driver's seat and could raise those rotten little sks, would their future be much more certain, their bad influence would be gone and the sun would shine forever after?

I have a friend who found herself in this situation and had to take over full time parenting of her sks after the biomom dropped dead. Believe me, it wasn't long before she was wishing that she could turn back the hands of time and biomom's presence seemed a hell of a lot more appealing. All of a sudden, the hubbie sided with the sks and the biomom became a saint forever in the eyes of many. That relationship didn't last forever...believe me and all that she was fighting against was the sks and a ghost!

The grass sometimes always seems greener on the other side and the person that you love to hate always seems like the biggest foe. Some times be careful for what you ask for, you just might get it!