Having a day!
I am tired this week and just having my fill of things all in all. As I talk to people I work with who are not step-parents or have ever tried to parent a child who was partly raised by g-parents, DH, and aunt sometimes, I realize they have no freaking clue!
I am constantly running into issues with SS, mainly really bad habits he developed from living where he did before. I think we finally are getting a control on the lying, YAY. Now it is constant talking back and arguing everything. He did this before but so much worse lately. Yes I have to catch myself a lot to not bicker back and just say stop enough. DH and I both correct it all the time, but it persists and I know where he learned it. Yes I blame my MIL and FIL for this as this is something they always did, MIL much worse. She would stoop to a kid level and argue back all the time with everyone. Anyway not really the point.
I was talking with people I work with and they are like just don't tolerate it, nip it in the but, punish him, give him a good swat on the butt. I have tried most no swatting on the butt. As they are telling me things and I am taking it in, I simply think to myself how long does it really take to undo what happened for almost 9 years. Do these people know how hard it is to keep your calm when you are coming in and trying to undo? Do they understand how hard it is to not totally flip on the child because you know deep down it is hard for him because that is what he grew up knowing for almost 9 years.
I do not deal with BM's or stuff like that I do deal with other step-parent crap of undoing all the bad habits and trying to mold a much better unspoiled child. I do not have many people around me that have raised a child that was not theirs full time. My Aunt did maybe I should talk to her she lives in another state. Oh man is it hard some days. I love him and treat him as my own. Today is one of those days where I just want to scream into a pillow to just let out the frustration.
I wish sometimes I had more people in my life that have been through a similar situation so I could get some really good guidance and lean on a little. I know people on here but it is not always the same. I knew I was taking on a lot but does not mean it does not take its toll someday. I hope that DH and I can undo all the bad habits but I wonder because we are going on two full years soon and some stuff has improved but when will the rest of it?
Sorry for the vent just need someone to listen who can actually commiserate.