So far so good.aside from the swollen eyes and red face
I'm still alive.that's all i can say for how i feel.thankfully i have not heard from sd and bm has decided it is wise to leave me alone.my mil did call though.she was surprisingly supportive.she told me that she too believes by the details DAH(thx to whomever provided that great nickname)gave her that sd most certainly did this on purpose.But of course she had to defend sd in the same breath and said it sounds like bm is influencing her and it really isn't her fault.she asked if there was anything she could do to help and she told me she doesn't want DAH and me to split up.i told her i appreciate her support but i don't want to discuss it with her because it's none of her business.i told her I've spent too many years being emotionally abused by her and her pal BM along with SD so forgive me if i'm not all candycakes and roses.Then I hung up.It was a shitty thing to do but I felt good doing it.I felt really damn good doing it.DAH told me sd wants to come over and get her stuff from her room.I told him she can go screw herself if she thinks i'm letting her in this house.Besides,i purchases EVERYTHING that is currently in her bedroom.clothes,furniture,books,blankets,jewelry,you name it and i have a receipt for it from my credit card.Technically after what she did to me i should be inviting several close friends over to have a bonfire in my back yard.Eye for an eye right?But I'm not going to do that.I told DAH I will pack her stuff and put it in the garage for him to pick up along with the other things of hers that we already organized and put in boxes a while back.I told him he can have the furniture in her room to put in whatever place he gets and it can stay here until he's ready to take it.The conversation was easier than i expected.DAH commented that i was speaking in such a monotone voice it was scaring him.I apologized for being scary then hung up.The worst feeling i have right now is that i'm doing the right thing.I feel hollow but i also feel like someone pulled the blinders off my eyes and took the elephant off my shoulders.It's the best feeling and the worst feeling.
Thanks to everyone who supported me yesterday.Thanks to everyone who gave their opinion as well.Just because I'm not ready to hear critical comments doesn't mean I won't consider your words and warnings once I'm ready.Right now all i'm capable of handling is support.
- Asher10's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
It is good to hear from you
It is good to hear from you Asher. (((Hugs to you))). I wish I had some good advise for you, but I can imagine how you are feeling. I hope that you get to feeling better about this whole thing (not towards SD or course). I love your respose to MIL, sounds like she deserved a good tounge lashing }:) .
(((MORE HUGS TO YOU FRIEND))) I really hope you get to feeling better soon.
While it sucks that you are
While it sucks that you are going through this, I can definately see a shift here. You are not going to be the nice guy anymore... nice guys finish last. You are standing up and putting your foot down and while you feel hollow now, it won't be long before you feel empowered. You are taking your life back from these blood sucking leeches, ... there is a light at the end of the tunnel here.
As much as I hated to hear it when I was going through my divorce with my ExH.... everything happens for a reason, and let me tell you I was a wreck at first, stopped eating, lost a ton of weight, had people stopping at my house almost constantly, fearful for me. But when I came out of that darkness, I felt like a new person, I felt strong for the first time in my life.
I think it's almost a good thing that SD did what she did, it forced you to stand up and say ENOUGH of this crap! How many people here would like to do that?? Stay strong dear, I know it's hard, but I think you're a good person with a good head on your shoulders and you'll get through this.
no he's not telling people
no he's not telling people she did it on purpose.he's telling everyone it was an accident.but mil feels based on the details that it was done on purpose.she thinks dah is in denial about it.
Asher, stay strong! I
Asher, stay strong! I wouldn't give ANYTHING back to that creep but SELL IT on craigslist as restitution and then tell DAH that you will do so promptly.
Stepaside, you've made
Stepaside, you've made tremendous strides and have put your foot down in a remarkable way!! I remember when you first came on this board and had quite the "doormat" mentality.
I think we all did but we knew deep inside that this was NOT RIGHT!!
Then we gradually stood up for ourselves. And gauging our SO/DH/BF's reaction gave us the answer we needed!!
I have to say this line is
I have to say this line is what did it for me:
The worst feeling i have right now is that i'm doing the right thing
Its because its scary. But you have taken your life back from these douchebags. In a way I am not surprised your MIL sides always with your BM. She is probably a lot like her..its no secret that men often find women like their mothers to live and mate with. They probably have a lot in common.
By doing the things you have you have just asscerted that you are not the doormat they expected you to be. Whether your DH, SD, BM or MIL actually takes lesson from this, or whether they just turn around and use it all against you and rewrite what happens (if this is a full and final split) it doesnt matter. You have taken YOU back. Fuck them.
Like I always say to toxic people:
THIS IS A HUMAN RACE AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? YOU FUCKING LOST.
woooo.....you really
woooo.....you really left....and I remember the time I kicked my ex husband out....I felt just like you...the pain of realising your doing the right thing was amazing...
I learnt from that relationship that kids need to see their parents as supporting each other....and not the mother saying one thing and the father saying something different...cos that screws them up....weather it be the biological ones or the step ones
when adults are in love they support each other - just like teenagers support teenagers
I hope you get better....glass of wine or brandy might help....? or chocolate and icecream.... maybe a sleeping pill to crash out for the afternoon ???
Sorry you are going through
Sorry you are going through this. I wish I had an ounce of your courage. Stay strong and stick to your guns. It's all about you now. Good luck. {HUGS}
Asher I have never met you
Asher I have never met you but you are the strongest person ever!! I cant imagine how hard this is I really cant but I think your doing what is best for you and that takes real guts and courage. I hope karma comes around for you and you make the best sculptures and have the best life because you endured to much negative. Good luck to you
Asher, I am PROUD of you!
Asher, I am PROUD of you! Stick to your guns, DH is starting to realize his "ride" is over. At some point SD WILL feel guilty about this (YEARS from now!). There are so many good things in store for you!
Hugs & Sympathies
Hugs & Sympathies
Hugs to you Asher. You've
Hugs to you Asher. You've been in my thoughts.
You said, "The worst feeling i have right now is that i'm doing the right thing.I feel hollow but i also feel like someone pulled the blinders off my eyes and took the elephant off my shoulders.It's the best feeling and the worst feeling. I understand this feeling. I remember it very clearly & I remember that for me, it was a scary feeling because I wasn't sure what to do with it.
When you consider the fact that years of your life have been filled with emotional turmoil & hurt & anger, it's understandable why you're left feeling hollow. The turmoil, the hurt, the anger...you've rid yourself of so much of it just by removing a couple of people from your life. Rest assured, sweetie, knowing that it won't take long for that hollow to fill with happiness. You are starting a brand new journey for yourself! You can fill that empty space with anything that makes you feel good & it won't be long before you're feeling whole again.