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What is the most tactless thing BM has said/done to you?

Anon2009's picture

For me, it was making fun of me when I miscarried.

For my friend I told you about a few days ago, the most tactless thing she (BM) did was to post on her myspace about this party she was going to throw because, in her words, "ding dong the bitch is dead! Which old bitch? The wicked bitch is dead!" Her profile isn't set to private. She invited her family and friends, and told them she ordered a huge cake with candles. After the party, she posted pics of it on her myspace, stating that she will throw a party on every anniversary of SM's death. She posted all of this in public where my friend, her sibs and their kids (all of whom loved the SM) could see this. My friend's dad and SM would regularly check out BM's profile for amusement. A few weeks after SM died, BFF's dad checked out BM's myspace. He needed a good laugh. Then he reads and sees all this and is infuriated. I know he shouldn't have been looking at BM's page but for her to post that in public, where she knows that anyone, including her ex (who doesn't have a myspace page) could see that is evil. Even worse, she subjected her kids & grandkids to it. I don't object to her throwing a party. Heck, DH would throw a party when SDs aren't around if BM died. But I have a huge problem with her posting such information in a place where people who knew & loved SM could see it (BFF, her sibs, her kids, nieces & nephews are friends with her on myspace).

What's the most tactless thing BM has said/done to you?


LizzieA's picture

That BM just revealed what a cruel and heartless person she is. Her punishment is that she has to be her. I am sure many many people were disgusted with her. She is revolting. And so is yours! Special place in hell for them...

Fortunately my BM hasn't said much to me. She's too afraid of DH's wrath.

Anon2009's picture

A lot of people called out BFF's BM on myspace, including BFF & her sibs, their older kids, and many others. They also called out the people who attended, telling them that they have this stain on their souls too.

Karma is great, though. BFF & her entire family have ceased contact with BM.

Happyhippos242's picture

BM constantly harassed me on Myspace reminding me how she was there before me (duh - hence the child) and she will be there after me and I will always be jealous of her because she has a child with my FDH. (Yes, jealous of the woman with 3 kids by 3 guys and no job living off welfare, cs, food stamps, with no car, etc...)over the course of about a year I would get random messages from her every time she got pissed off. Telling me how I need to grow up and be a real woman and stop expecting her ex to take care of me (she assumed he had to take care of me because SHE needs to be taken care of). I eventually had to block her from messaging me so she used her boyfriends profile. When I blocked him she used her 17 yr old HS friend to message me (FH, BM and I are all 34)doing the whole "Hi, you don't know me but you should know that your man is cheating on you" routine. All of her children have behavior issues, she gets fired from every job she gets for stealing, and rather than use her time to spend with the kids or getting a job she harrassed me until I canceled my myspace page.

Happyhippos242's picture

Cool, thanks for telling me that! I thought with FB you can see everything and message anyone, etc...I was under the impression they didn't have much privacy. I didn't really check into it too hard because I just didn't want to open that "window" for the BM to know anything about me. Anyway, Thanks for the info!

Happyhippos242's picture

She's to dumb to be a hacker so I'm not too worried :). I probably should have inquired about this sooner but thanks again - kinda made my night! Smile

Happyhippos242's picture

LMAO - um, as much as I would like to think things will get better I have realized she is the kind of crazy only meds will help and I am not a glutton for punishment. Besides, she hates me with a passion and I have to say the feeling is totally mutual! Me and her friends? Gives me the chills and makes me a little nauseous - and I'd like it if FH didn't have a heart attack just yet! Wink

StepMadre's picture

Yeah, if you block BM fully, she won't even be able to find you in the search box on FB. I've had to block three people and it has worked great!

zenjetset's picture

i would have to say that everything. She has NO FILTER at all whatsoever!!! she is tactless, spineless, and a complete narcissist. She is one of the worst women I have met in my life time. She is 46 and acts like she just graduated high school. She has no life experience at all whatsoever.

She told me the other day - I have a passport but no stamps on it because we don't check in when we go to the bahamas with bf boat.

I said....well, I have two passports and they are both completely full. You just reminded me, I need to get another one. (it's the truth!)

tactless....i wish I could put a tact between her freakin eyes tonight!!

iwishyouwould's picture

well, the most idiotic thing bm has ever said to me was that "i wouldnt understand because i dont have kids". I am a custodial stepmom, and bm saw kiddo 10 times, literally a grand total of 72 hours, last year.
She called dh once when she had an early miscarriage and proceded to sob. dh told her to leave him alone and she sobbed that the father of that "kid" just wouldnt only understand, only dh.
she told dh that his dick is bigger than her current boyfriends was, she called on a day she was supposed to arrange a visitation to tell dh that she was pregnant she just thought he should know - she was out to dinner with the babydaddy and baby daddy was laughing in background - she refused to talk to kiddo and didnt see him for three months after that, that dh was jealous of her current boyfriend because he had what dh wanted bleh*, that she wanted to attend our wedding so that she could object, that if anyone else in the entire family - mine, dh's, or hers - wanted to see kiddo that we had to call her so that she could call them and tell them that she was going to get him during that time because she is his "mom", asked us what was the name of kiddos preschool a year and a half into him attending the same school, asks us every six months what size clothes he wears, that i am an evil biatch, that i am jealous of her, began sobbing and screaming why when told that we got married, tried to stop us from taking kiddo to disney land for no reason other than that she wanted to try, when dh told her that kiddo goes to a counselor and has issues from her abducting him she yelled dont tell me that dont tell me that and refused to talk about it....i could go on and on.

StepMadre's picture

Okay, this woman sounds about as white trash as you can get! I'm glad your DH is good about setting boundaries with her. My BM pulled that kind of crap initially too and when H and I had just gotten married, she used to try to pull him away from me by having "crises" and calling sobbing with her problems. H didn't react at all at first, but didn't set good boundaries and with a completely delusional, enraged and jealous ex, it was a disaster. Her behavior was revolting and extremely inappropriate sexually and she also did her pathetic best to try to upset me by talking about sex with H. At one of my worst episodes with BM, when I was trying to come to some sort of truce, she was acting completely crazy and was getting frustrated because nothing she said upset me and she finally launched into a spiel about sex with H and how I would never be as close to him as she was, blah, blah, blah...and instead of getting upset like she wanted, I laughed at her and told her that she should reminisce about H all she wanted because she wasn't ever going to touch him again and her memories will be all she'll ever have. She got even more bitchy and started repeating the same stuff, but was on the verge of tears and totally losing it and I finally told her a direct quote from H, when he told me that sex with BM was "like throwing sausage down a hall way" and that if she didn't want to hear about the nasty things we say about her and what we really think of her, she should refrain from bringing up her sexual past with H. She was trying her best to hurt and upset me, but didn't expect the verbal bitch slap I gave her and when I left, she was bright red, sweaty and shaking because I upset her so much. That's what happens to bad BMs that try to mess with me! Biggrin She also used to call him and then say she forgot why she called and then tried to drag him into personal conversations. She acted like he loved her and was at her beck and call and ignored the fact that he had dumped her and married another woman and obviously didn't want to have anything to do with her! We both finally reached our limit and H told her that he would not discuss any topic other than those directly relating to the skids and he stuck to it. She freaked out at first, then came extreme anger and jealousy towards me (who she saw as instigator of all conflict between her and H) and finally she gave up and rarely tries to bring up personal topics with H. When she does, he is silent and refuses to respond and asks her if she has anything important about the kids to discuss and if not, he hangs up on her.
It isn't a problem anymore, for the most part, but I do know that if H and I hadn't set extremely clear boundaries with her and made it clear what behavior we would not tolerate, she would still be completely out of control and God knows what stupid crap she would be trying! When we are all at the same events, she still seems incredibly jealous and exudes bitter, hateful depression. She is already a revolting person, but her face is actually becoming set in a permanent, bitter sneer/frown. In just two years, she has aged about ten years and has tons of wrinkles around her lips and lines on her face from her constant miserable and sour facial expressions. Her ugly, crooked toothed smile is even starting to turn down at the corners and she just looks completely miserable and bitter and she's at the age where your personality and life choices start showing up in your face. H, on the other hand, is getting adorable crows feet around his eyes because he laughs and smiles so much. If things are going well in BMs life she gets more bitchy and has this paper thin false confidence and then when things inevitably go wrong, she gets extremely bitter and seems terrified and depressed. H thinks that it's finally hitting her that her life is miserable because of HER, not us, and the choices she keeps making. We only interact with her in regards to the skids and we stay completely out of her personal life and don't let her in ours at all either. Since we literally are not at all involved in her personal problems, she can't blame us, unless she is trying to somehow link her problems with H leaving her, which she has tried with no success. She had a stalking problem with me earlier and actually had her friends stalk me for her, and still pumps the skids for info about our life and tells them things she specifically wants the skids to say to us (such as when she has a new boyfriend). We have had to block her out completely and constantly work to maintain privacy and keep as separate as possible. With even the smallest amount of neutrality or small encouragement, she would go into stalker mode or try to get H to come back to her. I can't even imagine how bad it would be if she felt like she had any leverage or way to worm her way into our life.

iwishyouwould's picture

yep.. "everything is everyone elses fault but mine and this particular incident is directly linked to *you* getting me pregnant (even though at 17 i already had one kid, still didnt insist on protection, and refused abortion and adoption), *you* leaving me alone while i was pregnant (because you were working 60+ hours a week, because i refused to work because i was pregnant, after you decided to take responsibility for me after i decided that i should run away from home and move into a dump in the hood), *you* moving on (after i kicked you out of the apartment with kiddo who was 4 months old), *you* getting sole custody (after i abducted kiddo for five months and subsequently abandoned him), *you* getting married (to that "evil bitch" who feeds, clothes, educates and raises my child), and *you* not being my friend and getting along for kiddo (after i have acted intirely innappropriately,screamed, cried, cursed, talked about my new sex life, compared penises, told you you were jealous, demanded to know where my CS was after kiddo had been living with you for six months and i refused to sign termination papers and been impossible to deal with and dissappeared multiple times for months on end with no explanation)...Yes... this is all *your* fault". Its never that articulate or rational though. more like a 13 year old on crack trying to explain the natural rights of man.

StepMadre's picture

Wow! I am blown away and it's hard to surprise me when it comes to horrible BMs. I can't even imagine what kind of nasty, evil psycho would be capable of making fun of someone who lost their baby! I hope she rots in Hell.

Other than her usual crap, the worst thing she has said to me was that she wished I had died of my cancer when I was a kid because then I wouldn't have been alive to ruin her life and "steal" her family. Who says things like that? She's a total bitch and I think that, at the time, she was scrambling for something nasty to say and that was the meanest thing she could think of. I am secure about that aspect of my life and the only reaction a comment like that gets from me is increased contempt for someone who would sink low enough to say that they wished a child had died of cancer!

mammabird's picture

My favorite was she did not let sd come over one weekend because she was mad at my dh and she told my sd that the police told her that she was not allowed to send sd to our house because bm tried to talk to me earlier that day and I punched her and was spending the weekend in jail.
hahahahaha! When sd told dh he about died! We had a good laugh at it after telling sd the truth. I even called a police officer from town (thank God for good friends) and he told sd that I have never been in jail.

Timetogiveup's picture

The one I deal with...Her Royal Bipolarness....Maditlia the Hun....or just the stupid Bitch. Pushed me out of the way to get into to the house, when I followed her into the kitchen she threw one of my coffee mugs at me.

Another time she came into my house, my young dog was jumping on her, she grabbed his collar and twisted it, picked the dog up off the ground with one hand and when to punh the dog in the face with her other. I freaked out....that was MY baby....I became "mama bear" some how I grabbed and stuck her head into the stink that was filled with dirty dishes. I was holding her face in the sink and I was whispering in her ear that I would hurt her so bad if she ever did that again that she would regret the day she was born. She told me that she was goning to press charges against me..I reminded her that she was in MY house and there weren't any witnesses...DH and SS were out side....I also reminded her that she was in the looney bin more than once and no one believes a looney. That was the last time she came into this house. She sits out side in her car and calls. My only regrets are I wish I did this sooner and I wish I stuck her her in the toilet bowl and flushed!

Timetogiveup's picture

She frigging DESERVED it.....I should have pounded the crap out of that bitch!!! FIRST of all...the day I "met" Megabitch....she was driving on the sidewalk in her SUV, pretty fast, right towards me!!!! She waltzed into MY house....sometimes with her idiot low-life AZ Meth-head dirtbag friends and either show them what I did to "her" house or take stuff she wanted! The one time she was in her throwing a fit because I had a Total gym and there was a trend mill. Mind you, the Total Gym came into this house with ME...the trend mill has his. She thought she overlooked something in the divorce and insisted the Total Gym was HERS! DH was like just give to her and we'll get a new one. F that!!!! We fought over that for weeks. In fact we had to change the locks on the house again because SS "lost" his key again and I doubted that because she said she was coming to take what belongs to her!

Before the sink episode, every freaking time that creature came into the house....she either hit or kicked one of the dogs!! We had 4 uptil recently. TWO of the dogs were HERS.....when they got the divorced she didn't want them anymore. She belted and kicked them too. When I say she belted and kicked the was so hard you could hear the impact and the rattle!! When the dogs saw her coming to the front door....they all started snarling and puffing out....these are big breed dogs they wanted to rip this bitch apart! She just pissed me off, I was afraid that one of the dogs would nail her and then we would have a really big problem. SO I did what I had to do...I was telling DH I was gona hurt her and she made do it. She had NO right to do that to my dog....the poor guy was gasping for breath she was choking him. Dumbass bitch. Too bad I could stick her ugly face in the food grinder thingy and turn it on!!! I totally lost it when I saw what she was doing to my dog...he was only about 5 1/2 months old!! Like really...what is wrong with this bitch???? So the kid said she was smacking him around.....I don't believe much of what comes out of the kid's mouth.....but I believe she does smack the kid around.

I keep pepper spray by the front door and she has threatened to KILL me more than once. When she was in the looney bin she was threatening to kill me...she threatened to kill me when we took her to court. She almost ran me over once, she waited for me other times.....I wasn't able to come home. I got a CCW and carry because of her.

So I seized the moment when I had the chance and basically told her I ain't f*cking with you I WILL hurt you. DH takes it really seriously when I say I am going to hurt that woman.

iwishyouwould's picture


quippers01's picture

I think I'm in the minority here. I haven't had any communication with BM ever. All the BM troubles I've had I blame on H. All he had to do was put his foot down and set boundaries but he played into her demands out of fear. I was hurt and disappointed in exchange for keeping this woman happy multiple times. By the time H grew the balls to do it there was already so much damage to our relationship. We are still repairing things. Like a glass, it takes much longer to glue the pieces back together than it takes to break it.

Also, other than being freshly hurt, bitter, and over emotional during that time, I think my BM is a mostly sane rational person so that helps a lot too. Time will tell.

I truely feel for you ladies that have crazy BM's to deal with. I doubt I'd be able to handle it with as much grace and dignity as you all do. Especially if it had something to do with losing a is wrong with those women?

pastepmomof3's picture

I guess I have it twice as bad because I have 2 XW/BM's to deal with.

So far, the most tactless thing XW/BM#1 did was tell my DH I was a c*nt. No reason - just that I was. What she didn't realize was that I was sitting in the car right beside him when he was talking to her on the phone, so he repeated it right to me and I said, loud enough for her to hear of course, "bring it on." Since that day, she has not step foot out of her house, or hides behind the door so I guess I can't see her or she can't see me :? when we come to pick SD15 up or she won't get out of her car when she picks up or drops off. Talk about spineless.

And XW/BM#2 - well, we were standing on the curb outside our house when she was picking up SS8 and we were talking about something else and she asked me about the church we were going to, so I told her. She then tells me "well, I think he really needs to go - he meaning DH" and I tried to play it off with "well, i think we all need to go - church won't hurt anyone" and she says "well, he really needs to go. he's a wife beater and child abuser and if you don't believe me, I'll have OBS come out here and show you the bruise he left on him." I blasted back "Number one - DH and I have been together for (at the time) almost 4 years and he never laid a hand on me or his children. Number two, he has not been around OBS in like 7 years so I'm sure the bruise he had was long gone. And Number three - maybe you should consider going to church to learn about what happens to people when they tell lies and make up shit." She then claimed that DH had a Protection From Abuse (PFA) order and that she would prove it. Whatever. Keep in mind that DH was not present for this accusation but as soon as he started coming back towards us, she hurried up and got in her car and left. I was rehashing the conversation with DH, particularly about the PFA, and he told me that she had one too because her XH took one out on both of them because her OBD ran into a tree with her sled and XH claimed they had beaten her.

Stupid biatches!

Moon Child Step Mom's picture

Wow… just wow.
My heart bleeds for all of you who have lived through such a life trauma just to have a jealous bitch stick a knife in your back about it after. These women are just hateful and are going to be very sorry sacks when Karma has it’s way with them… how can people be so awful..?

Lord… after reading through all of this anything I had to say about Mother Russia seems so small and petty I can’t even contribute. She’s actually not as bad to me as she is to DH (he has many more buttons for her to push!!!) and compared to these other women she’s actually not that bad at all (considering the circumstances).

I’m just so mad at what I’ve read I want to track down all these other women and give em a firm kick in the shin then stick my tong out and go
*Pffffffffffffffft!* Viva-La-Step-Talk!!!

Timetogiveup's picture

Mother Russia....that is a good one!

I always wonder what they say about "us" after an attack?

tofurkey's picture

Like others on here, I really can't believe that these women would poke fun at having a's absoloutely disgusting.

Quipper, I have a similar issue like you with DH not putting his foot down when it comes to BM. I as well have been hurt many times so her fealings can be spared. Although he walks on eggshells with her because he has a very real fear of being drug back to court if he pisses her off, it still doesn't make it any easier on me when he does it AND while sometimes I can understand where he is coming from, in some situations I don't at all.

My BM is such a snotty, nasty , inconsiderate Diva. She has said/done too much for me to even remember or post on here but actually two things stick in my head:

- the court papers she had drawn up and waiting for us while we were on our honeymoon, that were in the mailbox when we got home, because DH didn't suck her ass while we were away.

- telling the Law Guardian that I am the reason that her and DH don't have a good relationship and that I caused the breakdown in communication and I'm not fit to be around her daughter (Damn right there is a breakdown in inappropriate communication, sorry honey I don't tolerate little pitty or love texts or phone calls. Only communication in regards to the child - what a novel idea!)

Ugh...would make things a lot easier if she were a normal human being.

JustAnotherSM's picture

When I first started dating DH, BM would call right after SS returned from visitation. She would scream into the phone and call me every name in the book (slut, whore, bitch, whatever) and accuse me of having sex with DH in front of SS. Then she would hang up on me. At this point, I wasn't even around while DH had visitation with SS because we wanted to take things slowly. This went on for several weeks and I finally told DH that I'd had enough. So I went with DH to bring SS back to BM's after the next visitation. I got out of the car and knocked on her door. I told her if she had anything to say about me to come out and say it to my face. She refused to open the door. We had to leave SS sitting on the porch because she wouldn't let him in the house until we left the driveway.

(((Hugs))) to all the women who have suffered the loss of a child and had BM's rub salt in your wounds. There is a special place set aside in hell for those BM's.

purpledaisies's picture

There are so many but I think the one that was the worst was when she said that she is better looking than me on her worst compared to my best day. now this woman is almost 6' and weighs close to 300lbs. I'm not joking. We went to drop the boys off one time and she wasn't wearing a bra and a little tiny white tank top and her boobs hung almost past the bottom of her shirt. EWWWWWW. Then right after that she called dh and told him that my dd is so pretty and went on and on about it then wanted to see a pic. of her dad b/c she looks nothing like me. (side note here, my dd is a spiting image of me and always has been, strangers will even comment on how much we look alike along with thinking she is my sis and not my dd.) So any way dh told her that she can;t as her dad is dead and has been for about 8 years. This woman is just so heartless.

Oh I forgot the best one was when she said she had pics of us having sex in front of the kids and she even took dh to court on it. She didn't win the judge was so disgusted with her and laughed her out.

hismineandours's picture

Wow-some of you really have it bad. I havent experienced anything like that-bm and I have even had truces at various points. Mostly she just says really stupid things about me or to me. She did tell dh that she felt she had to protect ss from me. This was while dh was in Iraq-she turned around a few weeks later and asked me to watch him for a week over spring break. She told ss that I was a monster when he was about 4. She told ss that I could kiss her ass when he was about 5. Just ignorant stuff. A couple of months ago, she told me I was treating ss like a dog because he was outside waiting for her when she picked him up. I try to not communicate with her at all.