You are here

If one of your loved ones died, how would you want skids to show you sympathy?

Anon2009's picture

Would you want them to come to their funeral, send a card, or just call you? What would your DH do if they didn't do anything? What would you do if they didn't do anything?

I know my skids would come to their funerals, but they like my family and my family likes them. My stepmother isn't the greatest, but I sent her a card when her parents died and called her. I just think it's the right thing to do.

Comments

hangingin's picture

Well, when my sister died (skids having known her 13 years)SD called looking for HD, she said oh, by the way, sorry about your sis! And this is a girl (23) who will go with her BM to any and everyone's funeral on BM's side of the family even though they have only known them by name only. Probably hoping they will get money out of them! SD does go to her step father's family's funeral's (she WILL NOT GO AGAINST BM)But apparently it paid off for them recently since stepdad's aunt died and left him a chunk of money!!!
(Small Town here, we hear all about things quickly)
If anything happens over the weekend, you can bet I will be greeted at the door at work come Monday morning, being asked did you hear what happened to ????
hangingin

CyndiLE's picture

I really wouldn't want SD to do anything at all, because it would just feel "fake". Definitely her being there in person would just make things worse. She has been part of the family (sort of) for 23 yrs though, so it would be proper for her to show her respect. She came to my dad's funeral 12 yrs ago, and it really just added to my stress, plus she still had to do stuff to get attention on herself. DH wouldn't like her not doing anything, he gets mad if she doesn't send me a card on birthday or mother's day, but i really don't want anything from her, anyway.

BMJen's picture

I would fully expect my SD 15 to call immediatley, be there for me at the funeral, etc. I would need her. I love her and depend on her alot.........I consider her my daughter and I would completley want her there. I know she would be though.

SD 21 however, she wouldn't call, be there, etc. I wouldn't mind.

DH wouldn't say anything to either of them for anything!

christsluv2u's picture

My SD 2b doesn't know my family very well so I wouldn't expect more than an "I'm sorry to hear about ---" and that is it. That is completely fine with me. I would probably do the same for her & her family, plus a card or something.

If she didn't do anything, oh well. I wouldn't complain to her dad about it. Some people handle death better than others and maybe she just doesn't handle it well. No biggie. I've got my family to lean on.

buttercup123's picture

Interesting question. If my skids knew I was really sad they woul dcomfort me with hugs and snuggles. I wouldn't want them to come to the funeral though because they are young still and it wouldn't be necessary.

belleboudeuse's picture

My mom died two years ago. My OSD (15 at the time) had met her exactly once. To my surprise, she actually requested to go to the funeral. I was absolutely touched to the point of tears. It meant so much to me that she cared enough about my feelings to want to go to my mom's memorial service.

BB

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin