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OT - Women Wednesday

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Happy Hump Day, STalkers! The title say Women, but Men are welcome to comment, too. Smile

As I tossed and turned last night (Insomnia came a'callin'), I was thinking about Lt. Dad's Fireside Chats and wishing I had her eloquence. But I'm more comfortable behind a bar and my gift for words is suited to writing technical documentation. So....

Pull up a bar stool to Aniki's Coffee & Cocktails Cafe. Yes, I said cocktails. Don't look at me in that tone of voice. 1) it's 12 o'clock somwhere {okay, 12:30-ish}, b) it's nightime on the other side of the world, and iii) some folks work 3rd shift and this is their cocktail hour. A variety of coffee, tea, and juice is available. Smile

I'm an advocate for trying to say things in a nicer, gentler way. For putting a positive spin on the negative. When Sally asks me if that dress makes her look fat, I don't say, "Hellz YEAH. Who is your dressmaker: Omar the Tentmaker?" Oy. How about, "It's not your best look. What about that paisley wrap dress or your leopard pantsuit? You look fabulous in both of them."

Over the years, I've said my share of crappy things and wished I could take back some of them. Not that I didn't mean what I said, but I could have been nicer and certainly didn't have to add that straw to the already-overburdened camel's back. Words have power. Sometimes that word power is a reflection on YOU and what kind of person you are. I don't want to be known as Evil Aniki (although tossing that dishwater on 'Ho was long overdue and felt pretty good...). I'd like people to think of me as someone who listens and is kind. And let's face it: it's crazy out there! Add the chaos of step life to that and you want to pull your hair out. But when the negativity gets piled on top, it can feel overwhelming.

All too often, we women tear each other down. I've never understood why that is. What's the competition?? I want to stand out for who I am and what I do on my own; not with backstabbing, brown-nosing, or destroying someone else. Aniki = an ongoing work in progress. Far from perfect, but always looking for ways to improve.

Please share something that speaks to you, moves you, uplifts you. Someone out there needs to read it.

 

Life Hacks  ~Ms Moem
Listen for the positve,
The voice that talks you down.
The one who tells you that they care;
That they like you around.
And when you're standing on the ledge,
They're waiting in the wings
Reminding you that life is full
Of hope and other things.

 

Be soft. Do not let the work make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.  ~Kurt Vonnegut

 

Sometimes life knocks you on your ass... get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them.  ~Steve Maraboli

 

Wishing you a beautiful day! <3

Comments

JRI's picture

Mental health is an ongoing dedication to reality at all costs.  (Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled).

justmakingthebest's picture

Reframe your day! 

Break your day into quarters

  • Morning
  • Midday
  • Afternoon
  • Evening

If you blow one part, reframe and start over in the new quarter. Then you only fail small. 

 

Mistakes:

Getting angry at people for mistakes doesn't teach them not to make them, it teaches them to hide them. Work on resolutions to the mistakes together. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

JMTB, that first one is similar to my approach to healthier eating: meals and a snack are the quarters. If I fail at one, start at the next quarter (meal) instead of blowing the entire day and starting again tomorrow.

Spot on about negative reactions to mistakes!

Tried out's picture

shall pass" is my mantra. It doesn't mean put up with crap from other people, at least not to me.

It means if you're stuck - for whatever reason - in a lousy job, marriage, whatever, that what is bothering you today will become less and less potent as you view through the lense of the past. You will still be able to find peace once again.

It means that if you're having chemo it will end. If your baby is in the NICU this gut wrenching anxiety you're feeling will end. It means if you lose your job you will be able to pick yourself up off the floor and deal with it - not today, but you will.

Whatever you're going through - this, too, shall pass.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

So true, Tried out. It's something I try to get someone to realize when they're "stuck". It's similar to what DH told SSthen18 when he was in boot camp (at my recommendation). That boot camp was basically a few short weeks in the scope of SS's life and it would pass and become a distant memory, with time. 

Thank you for that reminder! 

Cover1W's picture

Ugh the stuff today.  DH has been a really lazy jerk the last two weeks and let me tell you I've not been helping much and things are MESSY but I'm not a maid or a cook.  He had the amazing audacity to tell me "but I cooked dinner on Saturday." WHAAAAA?!  NO you did NOT DH.  YSD and I cooked it. You just bought the ingredients, put it all out on the counter, told YSD to start cutting some things up and then walked away.  By 7:00 I HAD to cook as YSD was the one who would suffer for this one (no matter my issues I don't take crap out on her).  WTF?  He cooked ONCE last week in entirety. Then last night again, he's out dinking around and I'm working my rear off. I literally threw stuff in a pot and called it good - "Oh, did you want me to cook tonight?"  REALLY you need me to ASK you to help around here?  I've told him I'm done asking and doing stuff.

I still firmly belive something is going on with BM and OSD and he's upset about it and isn't talking because I'll tell him my opinion straight up if he asks for it. He also tends to depression at time but he's got to let me know he needs help....I'm not a good mind reader and I resent being taken advantage of (which happens even if he's not).  The Man is Driving Me Nuts.

But on the other hand it's allowing me to let go of things.

And Ive lost almost 10 lbs in the last two months.  And found a good menopause women's supplement I suspect is actally helping with this and with my sleep. 

Keeping on keeping on.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Keeping on, indeed!

I hope that was weight you could afford to lose. :)   Would you please PM me the name of the supplemnt? My insomnia has gotten worse. 

CLove's picture

Im in a funk, and my friends are also in a funk, so call your friends - make time for your woman-tribe. Buff them out with compliments 

Biggrin

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Yes, CLove. Hopefully, everyone has 1 or 3 or 5 people who can help one another out of a funk!

GrudgingSM's picture

Something I saw here this week (can't remember who said it!):

giving up and letting go are two different things.

justmakingthebest's picture

That was advice from my blog... truly wise words. I just wish I could make my husband see it. 

Watereddown's picture

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. Socrates

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Too right, Watereddown. Fighting the old is often pointless as it changes nothing. Alter course!