Family photos with BioHo
I KNEW that we'd end up going to the family photo shoot arranged by BioHo. <insert swears in multiple languages>
SS21 called DH last night and told DH he'd talked to 'Ho and basically begged her to let him and the future Mrs be part of the photo shoot. SS said that since he will be gone a year (or longer) in a dangerous area, he knows there is a possibility he might not make it back alive. While it makes me sick to even think about that, he's right. There IS a chance that will happen. God forbid.
So this lovely young man whom I've come to love very much, sucked up his pride, called that twunt, and said he was sorry for how things have been between them. Dammit.
Aaaaaaaaaand cue the texts from BioHo. Because, of course, we are now going to this farking photo shoot and have to be up before dawn's crack to shower, dress, primp, and drive there. Yippee.
Text #1: Directions to the photo shoot and instructions from the photographer.
Text #2: A link to a polo shirt my DH MUST WEAR.
Text #3: A link to a shirt Aniki MUST WEAR.
Let's take these out of order.
Text #2: 'Ho wants aaaaaaall of the men to wear an orange polo. And it's the brightest, orangiest orange there is. DH took one look at that shirt and said, "I'm not wearing that f*cking sh!t. That CU Next Tuesday can f*ck right off with that noise." (DH loathes orange unless he's eating one or I'm wearing it. The color; not the fruit!)
Text #3: 'Ho wants aaaaaaall of the women to wear a yellow babydoll sleeveless shirt. Yes, BABYDOLL. And it's the brightest, lemoniest yellow you can find. I took one look at that shirt and said, "F*ck. That. One: I do not wear yellow unless I want to look sick." (I don't own so much as a yellow scrunchie.) "Two: No way in hell I'm wearing that style of shirt. Makes me look like I have fat rolls when I don't." (And it's more likely that 'Ho wants that style of shirt to hide HER fat rolls...MEOW)
So DH and I are in agreement that we are NOT going to a) buy those fugly shirts, or b) bother to try color-coordinating. And the gem of the texts...
Text #1: The instructions from the photographer. Guess what they say? (The words in CAP/bold came that way.)
- NO polo shirts and NO logos (no idea why not...)
- NO bright colors! Cool colors, earth tones, or pastels are highly recommended.
- DO NOT COPY! No two people should wear the same thing. Showing your individuality makes for better pictures! (These are family photos; not wedding photos. Obviously, plenty of wedding photos have duplicate outfits.)
And the kicker...
Text #4: Wht cock tails u guy wnt (Evil Aniki is wondering why cocktails is two separate words...)
DH's response: We'll bring what we're drinking (coffee!).
I am so NOT looking forward to this - I'll want to stress eat carbs!