OT - Woman Wednesday
Yes, men are welcome, too!
I don't know how things are going for the rest of you, but this week is officially the sixth month I've been working from home. Ugh. The commute is GREAT! Other things? Not so much. Countless, overly long zooms; a single monitor when my workstation has two; no ability to print; working longer to compensate for connection lags... I've even been spending my commute time WORKING.
Add to that the feeling of failure as I have accomplished absolutely NOTHING extra during this time. No new language, no new skill (knitting or crocheting was on my list), no closet reorganization, no house upgrades (the kitchen remains unpainted)...
Yesterday, we learned that we will be WFH the rest of the year. The.Year. Three more months. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! I actually felt panicky that things will get WORSE at home. Pretty darn silly since I haven't stopped doing the usual stuff and the house is in just as good shape as it was 6 months ago. But 3 more months of these multiple-times-a-day bloody zooms.
I've been downright cranky with a touch of psycho. And... I've been talking shite to me for months now - calling myself useless, a failure - I've been ruthless and brutal. Which is ridiculous. The fact of the matter is that this has been a crap 6 months. The yo-yoing of opening up/closing back down; concern about loved ones getting sick; fires, hurricanes, rioting, violence... Holy crap on a cracker! We're going through a trying time and not everyone has the ability of turning a pandemic into something fun or productive.
Well then. Last night I made the decision that I need to stop beating myself up and be nicer to myself.
I made myself a lovely meal and served it up on an actual plate - not paper. I used real silverware. I poured wine into one of my rarely used, fancy wineglasses. I put on some classical music, grabbed a book, and sat at the table to eat - not my recliner with a tray. It was one of the nicest meals I've had in months and I actually felt RELAXED instead of tense. For the first time in forever, I was asleep when DH came home. What a refreshing change!
We tell people who are going through a difficult time, "Be gentle with yourself." I forgot that means me, too.
So use the good china. Open that bottle of wine you've been saving. Burn that special scented candle. Eat that piece of cake. Spray on the $$$ perfume you've been saving. Be Gentle With Yourself.
Please share something positive. An inspirational quote; an uplifting poem; an upbeat song... Something nice you've done for someone who is down - especially if that someone is yourself.
Peace and self-love, STalkers! *give_rose*