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OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki's picture

Friday is finally here. Woo hoo!!! The work day can't come to an end fast enough. I've done enough "peopling" this week to last me 'til the end of Summer. Blech.

Eff off to:

  • Insomnia. That damn hamster in my mind was on the wheel All Night Long. And he had a party. 
  • People who cannot read past the first sentence of an email.... then email me asking questions that were addressed in the email. Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! I want to reach through the computer and smack you on the back of your fat head.
  • Panicky nitwits who have to buy everything in sight because The End Is Near! You KNOW you are buying too much. You KNOW you are causing those with limited funds and limited transport to go without because you're a selfish arsehole. As for those who are buying with the intention of making a profit? May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nether regions. 
  • BioHo. DH put the kibosh on all inhabitants of the 'Ho House quarantining at our house. SS17 said he would still come (and he is welcome). 'Ho overheard the young fool on the phone with a buddy and called DH to screech that she would come in and get SS17 and drag him home "where he belongs". 'Ho was clever and called from SS17's phone, so DH answered. On speakerphone, as usual. I was awake, sitting right next to him, and heard it all. Before DH could say anything, Evil Aniki escaped her cage and said, "If you put so much as one toe across my threshold, I will b!tchslap you so hard, your shoes will be out of style when you get back." DH said, "She'll damn well do it and I'll damn well let her. F*ck off." ~click~
    Lord, I love that man.


So help me, if I run out of coffee during this reign of chaos, I'll lose my mind. 
Hope you have an enjoyable weekend. Be well and stay safe. Tarvitsen lisää kahvia...


GrabitAndGo's picture

My nightmare is no TP, no coffee, and no cigarettes.  So help me dog, if the tobacco shop runs out of my imported death sticks, I will end up as a headline.  "...Before Turning the Gun on Herself."

susanm's picture

I don't smoke but DH does.  (Actually I will have one under times of super stress or if I have more than 2 drinks so maybe 5-6 cigarettes a year. on the edge there!  LOL)  I "gently suggested" that he get a couple of cartons and maybe a box of nicotine patches because I do not want to have to reenact a scene from "Old Yeller" when he turns rabid from nicotine withdrawal.  But I will if necessary.   *wacko*

Aniki's picture

My DH is also a smoker. He typically buys enough for an entire month. I would not be at all surprised if, believing we'll be quarantined, he buys enough for TWO months. 

I smoked menthol: DH does not. I tried taking a puff of one of his.... BLECH!!!

susanm's picture

Luckily he smokes menthols as I did when I used to smoke ages ago.  So on the occasions that I stress out and want one I can just grab one of his.  It was weird.  I smoked for years, maybe a little less than a pack a day, but one day I just decided it was time to quit and I just...did.  No withdrawal or cravings or anything.  And I can have one when I am stressed and then not think about it again until I have one again months later.  I have no idea how I did not develop an addiction.  I did not think it was physically possible not to!

hereiam's picture

I never developed an addiction to cigarettes, either. Smoked when I wanted to, didn't smoke when I didn't want to. Quit altogether 15 years ago cold turkey, didn't bother me at all.

susanm's picture

Have you talked to many people with the same experience?  I have not and I actually had people accuse me of lying about it.  Not really sure why someone would lie about something like that.  It is a much bigger achievement to quit when it is hard than when it is not so I am hardly claiming to be doing something extraordinary!

hereiam's picture

I had a co-worker who was a social smoker, she smoked less than I did so it really was not hard for her to quit, either. Otherwise, I have not come across many people who could "take it or leave it" or who had an easy time quitting.

I have never once had a nicotine craving. There was that ritual thing of, "I'm drinking, I should have a cigarette," but it was never about nicotine, for me. Even during stress, it was more habit than craving.

susanm's picture

I am convinced that it is just a biological thing.  For some reason there are just some people who do not have the nicotine receptors that would facilitate an addiction.  Like you said, even when I am stressed it is more of a habit or dramatic flare kind of thing.  "Oh I am so mad.  Puff, puff, flick the ash while gesturing with appropriate emphasis!!!"  Same thing if I have had a few drinks.  Telling a dirty joke just isn't the same unless you can arch your brow while taking a drag on a cigarette.  LOL

hereiam's picture

Coffee, check. DH got that a couple weeks ago, before all of the hoopla.

Toilet paper, check. Needed some anyway and got it yesterday, before Target started running out. And I only bought as much as I normally do.

I don't smoke but we are out of wine. Hmmm. I might need some of that!

I do need some canned goods but I wanted to do an inventory this weekend of what I have, first, so I only buy what I need. The grocery store I went to last night for some other things still had plenty of everything, so we will see. I wasn't about to panic and start buying everything up just because. Some people are ignorant.

Aniki's picture

QUITE ignorant. I grocery shop weekly because I buy fresh fruit and veggies. My plan is to get up at dawn's crack and be there when the doors open on Sunday. I COULD go to Walmart ~shudder~ but that goes against my Shop Local soul.

I did NOT stop at the Shottle Bop last night, so need to stock up on some whites: strangely, my sauvignon blanc is Out of Stock at home.

susanm's picture

Agree completely on Walmart.  I lived too many places where they ran all of the local businesses into extinction.  I will go great lengths to avoid shopping there.  I can not remember the exact last time I set foot in one but I know that it was some time in the early 90's.  I did not even know that they sold groceries now until someone mentioned it in conversation a few years ago!

Aniki's picture

Grabit (I'ma call you GG!), at this point, I'm ready to start smoking again. It's been 8 years, 10 months, and 12 days since I quit.

Gimlet's picture

Oh girl, am I in a mood today.

F off to BM.  Seriously, go f*ck right off a cliff.

F off to my shitty BPD sister, with whom I've had no contact in months, trying to make my niece feel bad for having a relationship with me because she is back in the "demonizing" phase with me.

F off to BM and OSS for treating my husband like shit on their shoes for years but boy is he A-OK when they've made a mess of things and want his help. 

F off to people who have no regard for others in general.

Is it time to pound some cocktails yet? 

Aniki's picture

Can BioHo join your BM in that cliff jump? It needs to be a tall cliff as I'm sure that 'Ho would bounce...

Dontcha just luuuuuuuuuuuv it when you (or your loved ones) are handy during emergencies only? 

YES. I'ts not quite noon, but let's pretend it's Sunday brunch. Bellinis, Mimosas, Greyhounds, Bloody Marys, Salty Dogs, Screwdrivers, champagne, and a variety of selections for your coffee: Di Saronno, Kahlua, Frangelico, Bailey's (all flavors), Chambord, and, of course, Irish Coffee.

susanm's picture

Can I join you ladies for some of those "genteel afternoon cocktails?"  We can start pounding the serious sh*t as soon as it hits 5:00.  I am still in the mood that settled in after the destruction of my painting and it shows no sign of lifting as I have not gotten the final estimate for restoration back yet.  NOT a good sign.....

Gimlet, I don't know how you don't just go on a b*tch slapping spree.  ALL of these people need to pile into a convertible together and head over a cliff like Thelma and Louise.  Except without the stirring music and smiling freeze frame.  More like the Jaws theme and looks of true terror on their faces as they realize that within seconds they are about to either meet their maker and be judged or simply have their life end without having done anything good with it.  Either of which would be hellish as far as I am concerned.  F*ck 'em all!  Let's drink.....

Aniki's picture

Of course you may!

We'd need a fleet of semis for cliff-flying...

susanm's picture

Not to show my age but:  "BREAKER 1-9....this here's the Rubber Duck....looks like we've got ourselves a convoy!"

Gimlet's picture

Oh susanm, you DO know how to paint a pretty picture!

I would love, love, love some afternoon cocktails!   Aniki knows what I like to drink already......

I'm really sorry about your painting.  I would be in a dark mood about that too.

susanm's picture

Thanks, Gim.  But I do have a smile on my face now after Aniki's comment about the fleet of semis.  I have the "BREAKER 1-9..."  running through my head and that is tickling me.  I don't think I have thought about that in decades.  I remember that song playing over and over on the radio as a kid.  The late 70's were a weird time in soooo many ways! 

susanm's picture

It is a pretty long story but to condense it, I had a large oil painting that was of great sentimental value and presumed real value (it was in my first husband's family forever and they were huge antique collectors but there is no formal appraisal that I am aware of) securely wrapped and put in the corner of storage.  There was no reason to disturb it or think that it was anything of interest.  I had gotten all of my other valuables out of the house and away from the skids as they had stolen/destroyed things but this was far too big for a safe.  I am eternally grateful that they had no idea what my antique furniture was.  Everything that was at the house rather than the office they actively made fun of it as being "old and crap!"  LOL  The last time I was in storage it was there and fine.  I discovered it 2 weeks ago unwrapped and leaning against the wall with other minor framed things stacked against it.  The weight of the smaller frames pushed through the canvas and ripped through it in several places.  It is currently at an art restorer and, although I have not gotten a final estimate from them, I was warned that it would likely be thousands of dollars.  DH has yet to confirm that he will be taking care of this bill.  Things are shall I put this...tense.

GrabitAndGo's picture

Ah, shit!  I'm sorry to hear that.  If your DH refuses to pay for the restoration, PM me your address.  I have ways of convincing him to be "cooperative."  Rusty needle-nosed pliers may or may not be involved.

susanm's picture

LOL   I take it that you have seen "Marathon Man" with Dustin Hoffman?  Very instructive when viewed as "Torture for Dummies".....    *diablo*

SteppedOut's picture

Eff off to THE VIRUS.

Schools in my area have closed. Most daycares in my area have closed (including the one my son attends).

do have work from home capability and I will be....for a little bit. However, my boss's daycare has not and she has suggested I think about switching to the daycare SHE uses, which is close to the office (and her house). It is about 35 miles from my house. 

My son has been at the same daycare since he was 8mo old, now 3.5yrs. It is an at home daycare that is 6 minutes from my housr. He is one of 4 kids there (3 families including mine). She uses a daycare center, LOTS of kids. I'm not really comfortable with that, particularly now - but she thinks everything is being over exaggerated.  And, $70 more per week. Annualized that is almost $3700 more per year. I really can not bear that extra expense long term. 

So... Eff off to the virus and to my boss. 

Aniki's picture

I do NOT have WFH capabilty, not do I have enough earned time off to BE off for any length of time. 

susanm's picture

Is she going to raise your salary the extra $3,700?

thinkthrice's picture

that has put JustMakingTheBest and her DH through HELL!  Hope Friday the 13th is their lucky day; whichever way it turns out.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Your hubby is goals.


Eff off to:

  • Last minute company meetings...
  • Apparently the state isn't even testing for the corona virus.  Had a coworker go to get tested yesterday they just sent him home and siad it's "probalby nothing" He came in today, had sweats and everything...  Ended up leaving while looking like s***.  Have another coworker with a wife in the medical field... They don't actually have corona virus tests yet... So basically, we've decided ignorance is bliss.
  • No longer getting 2 paid weeks off if we're quarantined... INSTEAD we're supposed to work from home if we go under quarantine.

Aniki's picture

Ugh! I went to the bathroom, heard someone coughing like a lunger, and walked right back out. 

Justshootme's picture

Eff off to being told we need to work from home for at least the next 2 weeks, possibly up to a month. My home is my sanctuary! I leave work at work and don't want the two overlapping!!! Stop

futurobrillante99's picture

I starting working from home as of today - bosses orders.

I don't think it's necessary but I don't mind sitting here with my music playing loud while wearing my PAJAMAS!!


Siemprematahari's picture

Hola Aniki!

*Eff off to having to cancel my cruise and my girls trip that I had coming up because of this F@#$% virus!

*Eff off to trying to contact the airlines to cancel/reschedule or hopefully get a refund for my trips but they are overwhelmed with calls.

*Eff off to people who cough and don't cover their d@mn mouth  Dash 1

Good news on my end is that I get to work from home and don't have to deal with the commute in NYC Biggrin

Tenga un gran fin de semana amiga!!



Aniki's picture

Hola Siempre!

That SUCKS! So sorry you have to cancel. Hope you can get full refunds. Sad

I just walked out of the bathroom BEFORE using the facilities because a woman in there was hacking up both lungs.

Pulling out the ENVY card and wearing it on my forehead! It would be AWESOME if I had that option, but that is allowed for a select few. Dammitall.

Muchas gracias! Espero el mismo para ti!!!

advice.only2's picture

You go Aniki!! Kicking some a$$ and taking names!

My Eff off is to well being sick! BD got stomach sick last week, I got a cold, and now DH and BS have the cold. Not a good time to get sick at this point!

Aniki's picture

Advice, I'm not too proud of it. But it was late and I was tired... Sigh... 

I hope you and yours get well soon! xo

Merry's picture

I have a great group of employees, but there are a couple of drama queens stirring up trouble over CV-19. Spring break for students has been extended, and then my U is going to online classes. But no change in work situation for staff.

Eff off to grownups who moan "not fair."

STAY HOME if you are sick or if you child is sick. If you need to telecommute and your job is such that it can be done from home, let's talk about it before you start bitching, It's not my fault that you burn through your generous leave the second you earn it and now there isn't anything left, and no, I'm not going to give you basket weaving tasks because you can't manage to plan. And also no, I'm not going to make a speshul exception to university policy with a wink and a pinky swear. Just go be a grownup.


Aniki's picture

Newsflash: Life Ain't Fair!

I wonder what percentage of people believe they are above and beyond the rules. LIkely more than I think...

somethingwicked's picture

Oh, I LOVE evil Aniki! She would be so much fun to have around when you need that extra something to scare the beejeezus out of a persistent a$$hole or holes..plural...


and eff off to boneheaded  jerks who show up sick everywhere in public, at work,shopping, dripping snot and obviously sporting some kind of  fever so high you could fry an egg on their face.Just yuck.

The good news : there is plenty of booze here to supply a small army.Snacks,too.

I understand a blood alcohol level >1.0 sustained for several hours kills that  lousy virus.


Even if that is bogus info it sounds like a good idea when the world is going craycray.

Party at wicked's !~just bring your own hazemat suite.

susanm's picture

I believe that it is a proven medical fact that a high blood alcohol level prevents viral illness.  The virus has to split in order to replicate.  If there is enough alcohol in your blood stream then the virus is going to be seeing double and think that it has already split.  Hah!  Fooled you, virus!

Plague humor...probably too soon...

somethingwicked's picture

If you can get Clem to dance then you are theCat Whisperer..OR Cat Dancer..

And I would PAY to see that ..but wouldn't Special Kitty be heartbroken to see his mom dance with another kitty ?

Cray 2

Aniki's picture

I adore you, Wicked! *kiss3*

(That's a cootie-free smooch!)

If I get quarantined, I can work on some long overdue personal projects. Sigh....

somethingwicked's picture

I'll take that adoration AND raise you double that ,Ani!


Cootie-Free are the BEST smooches.I like anything I don't have to pay extra..


Air kiss

Cooooookies's picture

F off to the nurse who came into work last night and today after vacationing in a high risk Covid-19 country.   Instead of self isolating, she came in... someone who definitely knows better. 

We all now have to have our temperature taken and logged every day. 

Also guess who was called upon to clean the room said nurse was kept in for I don't know how long?   Yep, me and the other housekeeper on shift.