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I see a light, but still holding on to a flashlight....

AngeLily's picture

So, I worked all weekend with the exception of a family outing I took time out of work for. (which was a disaster) I was trying to figure if I could afford child support if I told my YBS to go live with his dad if he was going to continue his drama. (no really don't want him gone, but was at a point of consideration because I was so frustrated) Had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with DH about YSS. Had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with YBS. Had a beer with dinner. (first in three years) and went to bed early so I could tackle work drama early in the morning. I need to let go of the things I have no control over. I worry excessively about EVERYTHING and am OCD about so much and it is taking its toll on me. I laid it all out with DH. Reiterated that I have no clue how I am supposed to be with YSS because of him. YSS will not act and behave the way I want even IF DH parented the same way as I do. I am perfectly content with YSS thinking I am the evil stepmother or taking some of his daddy's attention away. I am taking some of his attention. It is called sharing. And yes some of that attention will be going to our BD and my YBS because we all live in the home. I realize that it is important he knows his dad loves him and is there for him, but he is not an only child. I drafted a contract of sorts with YBS regarding his schoolwork, to which he agreed. I don't feel like I am drowning because of so much weight that I have placed on my shoulders any more, but I also am not delusional enough to believe this is the end of it all. I understand my life is filled with chaos, but I need to minimize it as much as I can.


3familiesIn1's picture

I am with you on this, 'I need to let go of the things I have no control over. '

I am trying hard to do that better, but its so damn hard when things you have no control over effect you directly - that is the part I struggle with.

Big breath - keep on moving forward.

RedWingsFan's picture

Me too. I've learned that the longer I hold onto things I can't control, the more stressed I get, in turn, making my life suck ass. I don't want my life to suck ass. I want to be happy for once!