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DH going out of town again, even though he's laid off and we can't afford it

amackeral's picture

Don't remember if I wrote about it back then but in November DH went to Phoenix, for Nascar, with his sister. He was already laid off (seasonal job), and so figured it would cure his boredom. He had been going every year before this year, but I told him I just didn't see how we could afford it this year. He wanted me to go too but I would have had to take unpaid time off work (currently working a temporary contract job, no vacation pay). Then in October I had to have carpal tunnel surgery and was out of work (paid, worker's comp from my previous job) for a month. When I came back to my current temporary job, they said no to me going to Phoenix, needed me at work for a big software roll out. DH still went, even though I told him it wasn't in the budget. He said he would spend minimal amount of money, YEAH RIGHT. He overspent by $200-300...beer ya know!

Earlier this week, DH's brother asked DH to go down to Phoenix with him, to an auto auction. DH asks me my thoughts, I tell him no, we can't afford it. DH says "good, I didn't really want to go anyway, don't want to spend 3-4 days with BIL". YEAH RIGHT. BIL calls again, DH supposedly says "Amackeral says no". Last night I get home from work, DH is on the phone with FIL, hangs up saying "BIL wants you to go with us at least one day, see you Sunday night". So I make a snide comment about I thought he didn't want to go. DH's excuse: BIL bought entry passes and told DH he was going. I'd tell BIL he wasted his money, can't go...but apparently DH can't hurt BIL's little fee fees. DH says BIL will pay for everything, except food. YEAH RIGHT I say again!

I tell DH that it's f'ed up that I manage our finances and pay the bills, and he pretends to ask my opinion about spending money but my opinion means nothing apparently, every time! Reminded him that he wants to go to a big motorcycle rally this summer, and we can't afford to reserve camping spot because the money he's going to spend eating out in Phoenix could go to camping spot instead. He can kiss rally goodbye. He says fine, we don't have to go to the motorcycle rally. YEAH RIGHT, when he gets back from Phoenix, he'll want to put the camping fees at the rally on one of the credit cards.

He must have a money tree I don't know about!

He was in Phoenix last time for 6 days, 4 days this time. Told him I get a 10 day vacation, me and DD12 only, this summer. He can stay home and house-sit/dog-sit!

Comments

moeilijk's picture

Take his credit and debit cards, put his spending money in cash in his wallet.

Oh, that's ridiculous I know. I don't know how anyone this irresponsible and immature can sustain a relationship.

Evil stepmonster's picture

It alway boggles my mind how there's enough spending money until the wives want a treat. Yay us

amackeral's picture

Yes, he is an ass, and I...am a doormat. I've thought "separate finances" so many times but...when it comes to bills when he's laid off, I couldn't just NOT pay a bill when his unemployment check isn't enough. He's usually laid off November-February, can't get that behind on bills.

Get a different job, I've suggested that. "But all he knows is trucking, what else would he do?" Cure boredom by taking the dog for a walk. "It's too cold outside".
Cure boredom by volunteering somewhere while you're laid off then. "I don't know where I could volunteer at". There's always an excuse for everything I suggest. But if it's even remotely above freezing and no snow on the ground, he can go for a motorcycle ride, and waste gas (money).

He's used to having an endless amount of money, he made really good money when he was driving truck over the road. Maybe I need to turn all the bills over to him, so he can see we're not making the money he did before...

amackeral's picture

He gets unemployment but it's not as much as he usually makes, its $200 less per week...so $800 less per month. And he had to re-file a new case on December 28, so he had a new wait week so that means no check at all for this past week. Down another $350.