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O/T I'm About to get all jerry springer!!

AliceP's picture

Backround: I have a neighbor, she's weird, she really helped me out when I had my first child I was unprepared for as sort of a surrogate grandma (my mom is very child like and I pretty much counted her out on this whole family thing) But this lady is maternal and intrusive in a ....intrusive way. lol. But I noticed she's a chameleon she changes who she is based on who she is around. She smokes cigarettes behind her husbands back. She started out sneaking smokes in our back yard with DH. She started doing it longer and longer more and more and I told her I don't like it I don't want him smoking at all!!! She started sneaking DH her debit card to buy them both packs of cigarettes. She started telling her husband that I was doing odd jobs for her and she was giving me $20 bucks here and there as a cover for the cost of the cigs. I have helped her in the past with dishes and vacuuming etc....but I never asked for money!!!! What this guy must think of me! So I flipped the fuck out on her and now she slinks off to another neighbor. Dh got on the patch august 5. DH and I were out for a walk and she is walking her dog alone and runs up to him and lights two cigarettes at once and hands him one. He's been dying for one for whatever stress of the day he chooses so we are all standing there I don't smoke so I leave. This woman reminds DH of his mother and cant stand her but he says he thought he was appeasing me because she was supporting his nicotine habit. LOL omg. I told him I have a plan and not to feel threatened. But her big complaint about her husband (9 years younger) is that he plays video games all the time. I am going to walk right in their house, plant my ass next to her husband and start being a gamer and see how she likes it. This guy will freak out but I don't think he'll be rude so I will just cozy up to him and talk geek. I want to make my point to this woman... she didn't take a hint, she didn't take an all out "Seriously NOT HERE please don't smoke with my husband, it's weird." It's not that I feel threatened I just think it is very innappropriate. hrumph

Comments

oneoffour's picture

I would have taken that cigarette she offered your DH and told her "No. You know he is trying to quit." and squished it under my shoe.

The problem is we (as women) are faced with situations that are crying out for going all banshee-crazy but because we have good manners and back off.

I don't know if I would become all friendly with her husband. She may see it as a green light to swap out spouses for 'play dates'. Ewww. I would let her DH know that she hasn't ever paid you for cleaning their house because it goes against your ethics to help neighbours in need without payment and you have no idea why she would say this...

Block her and be truthful at every turn. She is deceitful and not to be trusted.

AliceP's picture

I wanted to, but the quitting smoking thing has to be his doing for himself otherwise it won't work. He quit for two years for me. But this time he made the decision on his own because he's been having a lot of ear and sinus problems. So fingers crossed he'll be able to do it.

herewegoagain's picture

I have always noticed that the women who are the most "friendly" with other women's husbands are usually the most jealous as well...so, I say...GO FOR IT! lol

Believe me I have had a few friends be a bit too friendly, which I am not and have never been a jealous person, but they are extremely jealous about their own boyfriend/husbands...lol

oldone's picture

It's called projection. They know that they are looking for a "little extra" on the side and assume other women are too.

Starla's picture

Women like that neighbor lady of yours make us look bad, sorry just saying. I don't blame you one bit for wanting revenge {gaming with her DH} but ask your self if she is really worth it. It can backfire and surely give the wrong messages too.

I agree about taking that cigarette and smashing it as you tell her "you know he is trying to quit!" and walk away with your DH giving her no further attention. After you leave that scene...then tell your DH "look if you are not ready to quit that is one thing but this lady's behavior and her approach is inappropriate, I won't be putting up with that."

Please keep in mind that the less attention you give her {including her DH} the sooner she will move on from you.

AliceP's picture

I didn't do the thing with her husband because it would have made him real uncomfortable and he's oblivious. She's the type that blabs about her bad sex life so I know too much about this guy. She totally disrespects her husband and marrigae and I guess doesn't want to be alone in it.