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DH - Please Get Thy Head Out of Thy Butt...and Quick

NewBeginning's picture

I had my neighbor come to me this afternoon and inform me that 3 of my SS18's friends were in our backyard today smoking a joint. These kids are SS is 18. He was in our basement - which has a sliding door that goes out to the backyard - playing video games with another loser friend. My neighbor saw what they were doing and saw all 3 toke on this joint.

He came and told me about it..I went to DH immediately and he went to his son. My DH and I both were gone during this time. SS claims he saw nothing.

SS also says they 'may' have been smoking a cigarette, but my neighbor said under no uncertain terms was it NOT a cigarette. We decided these 3 people were not to be at our home anymore.

Fast forward to of these girls walks right past me and walks right into our basement like she owns it. She lives next door to us so she's close. She's the 15 year old that my 18yo grown SS hangs out with..nice.

I immediately called SS outside and asked him who she thought she was and did he not tell her she was not welcome anymore. He said "Oh..Dad said she just wasn't allowed to sit in our chairs here."

I looked at him like he was insane..she can roam free around our house and property...but she just can't sit in our lawn chairs???


So back I go to DH..he instantly swings into the "I can't seem to remember what happened" mode. I ream him over this girl being a MINOR in OUR backyard with her buddies - smoking a doobie and being seen. He then tells me he 'thought' I had said I wasn't sure if it was a cigarette or not. That this girl told SS it was a cigarette - so I guess my DH and SS were being gentlemen and giving the pothead the benefit of the doubt.

I was livid..I LOUDLY told him it was a joint..nothing was more sure in my conversation. NOTHING.

I told him that HIS son was a grown adult. WE WERE GONE while this happened..his son would be responsible for these kids getting caught if they had..did he not think of that? While he was sitting there like some lazy ass playing video games 3 minors were in our backyard smoking a joint.

Who did he think would take responsibility? Him? Me?? HIS SON is responsible for the people he brings over here..end of story.

He says..."Well I don't want to put it like that to him...uhhh..might hurt his feelings."

So..while my DH and I were gone, 3 minors were sitting in our the open..smoking a doobie. And my SS - who is a grown man - was sitting 40 foot from them playing video games and never said a word. Nor does my DH feel my SS is responsible because he SAYS he didn't know.

And now wants to say since the girl is saying it's a cigarette..then my neighbor has to be mistaken. I guess what she says is the truth. We do NOT know her..nor the 2 other kids with her.

Does anyone else see my point here or am I the crazy one??


Disneyfan's picture

Since your husband and SS are to thick headed to understand, go talk to the girls parents. Let them know what happened and that you don't want her in your home again. Also let them know your son is an adult. Most normal parents don't want their 15 year old girls hanging out with grown men.

youngmama1b1g's picture

then again if the girls smoking pot- parents may not be too involved- though the mention of an 18 yr old boy should make any parent lock their 15 yr daughter up.
If you can go to each of their parents to tell them about the weed...and even if it was a cigarette, theyre not old enough to smoke anyways!
clearly your SS is unaware of the serious trouble he can be in as the 'adult' in the situation, so I'd say no friends over while you are gone. You can even set up video cameras to monitor the doors if you dont trust him.

doll faced sm's picture

H needs a swift kick to the head, and SS needs a swift kick to the curb! If the drugs are on your and your DH's property and the police are called, it will be *your* possesions they seize. Police may claim criminal forfeiture (you don't get it back; it was used in the commission of a crime) or evidence (you get it back after the case has been tried).

hismineandours's picture

Exactly these drugs would be on YOUR property not your ss's-so i think it would be you and dh to get in trouble. I would ask the girl myself to leave. If she did not I would call the police and tell them you heard she was smoking pot on your property and you dont want her there. Hopefully, the girl will be smart and just leave quietly-tell her she is not welcome back or you will call the police.

rockermom's picture

Why, as soon as you saw the kid, did you not tell her that she had to leave? Especially with her attitude of flouncing into your home like you owned the place? Even if you DH and SS had caused a fuss, the girl most likely would have been made so uncomfortable by the fuss that she would have left of her own accord.

It is your home too, and you have just as much right to tell her to get lost as anyone else living there.

alwaysanxious's picture

I think I'd ask the neighbors to tell me next time they saw pot smoking. Then I'd call the police and have them at my house. Keeps you out of trouble.

ybarra357's picture

"one of these girls walks right past me and walks right into our basement like she owns it"

It would have been at this point where I would of stopped her and turned her right around.

One time when my DH was out of town and I was home. Well, unbeknownst to me, SS figured he could invite his pot buddies over for a night of drinking, etc. Well, around 4:00 a.m. I was awakened by noises in the front room and got up and saw a complete stranger standing in MY KITCHEN!! I proceeded to ask him who the hell he was and he indicated he was a friend of SS (who was no where to be found BTW) I told him to get the hell out of my house!

In hindsight, this approach may not have been the best. I mean, who knows what I could have encountered in a dark house at night. I should have just called the police and them deal with these losers.