This is an excerpt from my blog. It's style is very different than the venting I do on here...
Ok… marriage… check.

Let’s go down the check list of things…

Husband…

kids…

dogs…

house…

car…

We went to dinner for my son's college graduation this past Friday! SS13 refused the invitation to join us for dinner. I didn't feel like making him go!

We got home around 9pm and SS13 said he had eaten already. There was no mess in the kitchen so dead give away to me. He told me he went to Mc D's with a friend who bought him food. I mentioned to DH and he thought it was unusual right away and got up and looked in his drawer where he keeps cash. Sure enough $50 was gone. He asked his son how he paid for it and this time the kid said he used his debit card.

SO,
This is what I have been feeling and unable to express to you for fear of how you would react. Yes, I knew you had kids and a wicked ex when we got together. However, this does not mean I knew what I was getting into, not at all.

Honestly, my situation isn't bad. We only have SD7 on holidays and during summer break because BM moved her away. It sucks, but at the same time, it got BM far away from us..

But you know those days where you just drive yourself mad with thoughts of BM?! I think it is especially bad when you don't have children of your own. I want so badly to be a mom, so it's hurtful when the only somewhat child I have, I am not a mother too. So you have times where you just dwell on them and it and the whole situation.

It's enough to make a girl mad.

Our son called Sunday afternoon. He sounded great. Apparently the change in TIs was a good thing for their flight. So far they have had no once recycled. The kid is in contention to be an honors graduate which gives him some extra privileges during graduation week.

He commented again that knowing how to march has been a big asset and now that they have been issued their dress blues and have to shine shoes he is getting a lot of mileage out of the Rags' patented spit shine method that I trained him on when he was in Military school.

I'm ready to disengage its been a long time coming really, ss14 has pushed me too far. How is this supposed to work when I have the skids every other week all summer? Dh isn't crazy about it but I told him I've had enough, if my kids treated him the way his son treats me i would completly back him up. I'm just so sick and tired of the attitude over every little thing no matter what i ask him to do or not do. Dh acts like i'm giving up, I'm not I'm trying to save my sanity.

What a mixed weekend. For one it seems that recently my bf and I this last week or so have been in a bonding frenzy. We are both being extremely affectionate, loving and intimate very frequently. It's one of the "ups" I guess you could say where we are both feeling incredibly connected and can't get enough of eachother. It feels fantastic. This was our "kids free" wknd.

So weekend started off rocky with BM being her usually greedy mean self. MIL also being her usualy rude snotty self. However, DH and I had a wonderful weekend despite them and feel closer than ever.

SD 4 has said lots of things I've found odd. Let me get your opions.
Oh newest info SKids are told BM new DH is daddy and call him papa. Or how ever you'd spell how kids say dad in German!
I want to be at my real house.
My daddy is a bad bad man and does bad things.
I don't want to be with you daddy you broke my mommys hurt and I love her and she loves me more.
My sister is adopted.
My I love my mommy and papa! He's my dad!

So after Easter, when she threw her hands up at me and stared me down I'd have enough. Then the following wkend which was our turn with her children she has the nerve to ask an hour before we pick them up can you get them an hour early. FDH responds with no but you can drop them off befor I'm suppose to get them. Well FDH was in the shower when BM pulled up. SD4 was crying as usual to not come she wants to be at her real house blah blah blah....BM turns around gives me a dirty look won't give the youngest to me and tells SD4 go find daddy. Really WTF is that about? So I sent BM a txt.