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Greener Grass: A Failure of a Marriage but a win in life!

Gia's picture

Hello everybody,

As I was scrolling through my old email account looking for an unrelated email, I found an email from Steptalk and the memories poured in. Most of them had been deleted from my mind.

Lord, it has been a very long time. I doubt there will be anybody here who will remotely remember me but that's okay, if you go check my last pot, you will see a major contrast between that one and now.

I was in a very bad place, my marriage was horrible not because of stepchildren but (mainly) because of an abusive man.

I ended up applying to graduate school in Toronto (from Florida) got accepted, was in court to finalize my divorce December 2nd, 2014 and I was on a plane exiting the country December 3rd! (We have not gone back to US yet.)

I moved in with my sister, went to school, graduated and now have a good job in an amazing city!

My son is now 9 and doing great, he does hockey, swimming and guitar, super sweet and smart young boy who aspires to be a surgeon.

I am now 28 years old and Oh, how I love being independent and doing my own thing. I had a baby at 18 and got married at 19, so you can imagine how I never really experienced this phase. I love being ME without the stress of answering to anybody or dealing with bullshit. I have not had much luck finding "love" but I am perfectly okay with it as I am dedicated to enjoy singlehood and I am in no rush. In the meantime, I'll keep trying to climb the corporate ladder, going to the boxing gym, festivals, bars, cultural events, concerts, whatever the city has to offer! Possibilities are endless and I am now living in a type of freedom that I had only dreamed of before.

I talk to my stepdaughter (now 12) every now and then and do miss her. This past weekend I bought her Christmas presents while taking advantage of some black friday deals. I have not seen her again but I always send her presents for Christmas and birthdays. She has grown beautifully and one day I will probably pay for her ticket so she can visit me and fall in love with this amazing city!

What I learned from my crazy experience is that when something is broken, its broken.
Quite seldom are the things in our life that get fixed after being intrinsically broken.
and of those that can be fixed, know this: You will NEVER be fixed by the person who broke YOU.

Lastly, I am incredibly biased but I will never say "Hang in there". You know what? Don't. Do NOT just "Hang in there" life is too short to take such a passive stance in your own desires and destiny. Don't just wait for something to happen or someone to change. Don't hope, don't wish, just do and BE the change you want in your life.

At some point, I truly did find some sort of support system through this website and a few of you reached out to me even through personal messages to make sure I was okay.

Thank you.

All the best! Smile

cajunstepdad25's picture

That is wonderfully inspiring!!! I needed to read that. Thank you, congratulations, and good luck!!!

PS, if you ever get the chance, go visit Ottawa. Great city!

CANYOUHELP's picture

Your made me smile too. This forum has become both my counselor and friend. I have met so many wiser than me people who know how to function in the face of adversity.

When things are broken, gluing it back is just a bandaid; unfortunately, even with a vase---it is never the same.

it sounds like you do too! Good for you!

Rags's picture

Gia,

I remember you well. Congratulations of taking control of your life and on the success you have driven for yourself and your son.

Stay in touch.

Regards,
Rags