do you say things just to get to the ex?
I have noticed more and more that I find myself saying things (seemingly nice things) to BM just to rub it in her face that I am with FDH (and we have a happy life together) or I am doing things with/for sKids that she does not because I want to and it's not 'work' to care for them. 
I do it because she makes a big freaking deal about having to do this or that for the kids. And being a mom is so HARD, keeping in mind that both Skids were PLANNED! BM was a stay at home mom for a short time but went back to work because the kids were too much for her and they needed more money.
And when we started dating she flat out told me that she hoped FDH treats me better than he treated her. Recently she told me that FDH and I make it look 'easy' because we are more compatible than they were. Plus I think it's funny that when they were together they never had any money - grant it FDH makes a little more now, but BM still doesn't have money (even though she makes more now too) because she spend money stupidly.
Examples (please feel free to proved you own)
The other day I took SS7 to his Therapy appointment and BM txt'ed me to offer me gas money and thank me for my time so I responded with. "I would do anything for SS7 and I don't need gas money, I haven't put gas in my car in months, FDH does it for me."
I was supposed to take SS7 to the Therapy last week but when I went to pick him up from the sitter she told me BM had already picked him up. BM txt'ed me and said she didn't think I was available. I told her that "I am a house wife and always available to help out with the children" then added if she needed anything to let me know. (and I am within reason).
When we went to look at the 4 wheeler that BM is selling I told her that "We would have to think about it, we are torn between this or a caboose (passenger cart) to pull behind the snowmobile" (she doesn't do anything with the kids - just ask SS7)
In an e-mail were BM talked about us 'being friendly' After going on and on about how hard it must be for me. I told her that "I love my life just the way it is, the challenges keep things interesting, the only thing I could do without is the pushy ex-wife."
I emailed her yesterday 10 pictures of SKids on the first day of school - she asked for 'some' but was worried that SS5 wouldn't have 'issues' but he didn't, he was excited to go and I showed her that i can handle him (better than she can - she claims that he throws fits when she tries to leave him at school)
I am sure there are more but that I all I can think of for now. And see they are (for the most part) nice comments. But I admit that I say then because I can.
- SisterNeko's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I didn't talk to her for a
I didn't talk to her for a long time, until I got her 'lets be friends' email were i basically told when hell freezers over, but I agreed to be nice/civil to her.
Not until last month. Last
Not until last month.
Last month - BM pulled a stunt that I refuse to let go.
So, BM is terrified of me, she refuses to speak to me, she refuses to even be civil.
So this is what I do, I go to every single pickup and drop off and I wave and smile. I wave and smile at her - she is such a bitch that she will pin her arms down to her sides and even though the skids are waving, she will refuse to wave. So I do it each and every time and I will continue to do it EACH AND EVERY TIME.
Smile and wave.
I hope she bitches to DH's joint friends about how horrible I am for SMILING and WAVING at her - gee how horrible is that??? It will just continue to dig her hole of bitter crazy bitch.
oh nice, I do that too. You
oh nice, I do that too. You are just so horrible lol.
Haa haaa! I like this. I
Haa haaa! I like this. I wish I had done this all these years.
Good for you!
I do it all of the time. I
I do it all of the time. I call it payback for the first 4 years of mine and DH's relationship that she tormented me
Things I do to intentionally get under her skin:
ALWAYS refer to our house as "home" i.e.- Please have SS bring his **whatever** home with him tomorrow. (She tried to teach him that "dad's house is a slumber party and HER house is HOME", I reversed that one real quick)
Every conversation is in terms of "WE". I never make a comment or send a text as though it is just coming from ME or just something that DH said, it's always "WE feel, or WE prefer". We are a team.
I had our check printed to say Mr and Mrs DH First then last name. She and DH never had joint bank accounts. DH wouldn't have it. We don't pay her child support anymore, but when we did, it drove her nuts to see that.
I make comments about her and her BF "only being together for a year". She really tried to compare my marriage with DH to her relationship with her BF. DH and I have been together for 8 years. There is no comparison.
I listed her BF as an "emergency contact" on SS's school paperwork, and listed myself as a step parent. After all... that is what it is, he is just a BF.
When she mentions her and her BF getting married I very OBVIOUSLY push for it and told her to give me my last name, she didn't earn it. I actually say those words.
When her BF is around (which isn't very often) I am sure to refer to DH as DAD. Every possible chance I get. Her BF has annoying bratty kids, SS is a good kid and fun to actually hang out with. BF really wishes SS was his kid. But he isn't. He has a dad, and I like to remind him of that.
Seems like several of my ex's
Seems like several of my ex's girlfriends or current wife at the time wanted to be friends or dropped snide remarks about things like you've mentioned. Honestly, I could care less and just ignored them which in some cases just fueled the friendly thing. Im nice and cordial to them, but I really could care less what goes on in their relationship.
Save yourself the trouble.
My SO is currently going
My SO is currently going through a divorce and has been for quite some time now. I have no contact with BM. Spoke to her sternly ONE time but have never even met her. My SO has so far gotten her to agree to pretty much everything he has asked for in the divorce just by merely mentioning my name to be placed as a pick up person for the kids.
We do use that to our advantage, her pure hatred for me. She will claim that she cannot come pick up the kids but as soon as I threaten to drive 1hr one way to her house with them. She is all "NO NO I WILL COME GET THEM" From what I hear she doesn't want to know what I look like. Her and SO were separated for years before I came into the picture and I am 10 years younger than both of them. So I am sure that kills her.
I can understand all of this.
I can understand all of this.
The difference between the things that I do/ say to BM and her putting on the MOTY act, is that the things I do/ say are TRUE. When she is playing MOTY, it is an act.
BM used to call our house and ask to speak to "her husband". So yeah, I retaliated by having our checks printed with Mr & Mrs on them... I am human, it happens.