DH just called and the first thing out of his mouth was "Listen to this BullS*it" I was thinking either BM is pulling some shit again or something happened at work. He said that SDs teacher just called him and asked if him AND bm could do the student led teacher conference TOGETHER! DH politely told the teacher that he and ms. "dipshit" do not get along, they have not been able to go to a conference together since SD was in preschool. SD is now in 3rd grade.

I must be taking crazy pills because aparently DH thought our discussion regarding Christmas didn't apply to his kid...So Dh and I have been trying to put away every little bit that we can to save up towards getting a house. We live in an apartment right now and we have long ago outgrown it. We rarely go out, I clip coupons like a madwoman, We hold off on things unless we absoloutely need them, and pretty much for the most part get by on the bare minimum to try to save up.

So my last post was about the positive outcome of DS's parent/ teacher conference this week. That all by itself made me happy and proud of him, and glad that things are going well. But....I have some odd feelings that I can't quite let go of. Maybe getting them out here will vanish them. because I do know they are mostly irrational, based on my own insecurities and more a result of the built up resentment that is our blended family. You know, the kinds of things we SMs are supposted to sweep under the rug, smile, nod and move on.

dh and i have been in a downward spiral the past couple of months. august/september was full of threats of divorce and the realization that neither of us are the same person anymore, and not in a good way. we talked about therapy, i found a few therapists, but scheduling/arguing/life kept getting in the way. i was trying to make a last ditch effort.....and realized its *always* me trying to make the changes. frustrating. i decided that one more time, i would try, and that was it. otherwise, i would have to focus on myself and make plans for my own future.