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Recent Blog Posts
If you read one of my recent posts, you'll know I was struggling with the problem of attending my stepgranddaughter's first birthday. Also, in my last post I was lamenting about how people are so rude about sending an RSVP; well this post is a result of my SD23 (grandchild's mother) who treats me (and DH) like crap. I thought everything was going too smoothly with us, and she does not yet know I was considering not attending the party.
I have been feeling quite reflective about step parenting lately. Several recent threads have resonated with me, including one about young SKids who lie, and another about older SD’s who try to take on a pseudo mother/partner role. When I read these things I can look back on my own experiences and it’s like looking down on a maze instead of standing inside it, I can see patterns and common experiences which suddenly make sense. How I wish I had known some of this earlier on so I could have identified and addressed the problems instead of agonising about the symptoms.
That's how it was, I was my BF's SO but he was so entrenched with dysfunctional dynamics with SD, BM, and his mother and the guilt he allowed them to dole out to him. He was incapable of having an exclusive relationship with me because he was bent on pleasing these other women at any cost; the best he could give me was something akin to polygamy (ok, over-reacting but you get it).
We got SD6's first grade's first grade report yesterday.
The grading scale is as follows:
1: Does not meet standard
2: Progressing towards standards
3: Meets Standards
4: Exceeds the standards
Out of 10 evaluation statements, SD got two ones and eight twos. The #1s were on "the student plans, writes drafts, revises, edits,and publishes" <-- which is B.S.... she is 6, do they do that in 1st grade?
And the other one was in "the student demonstratesunderstanding of whole number relationships".
So last night me and my DH were out on the town having fun. When we went back to our room we had a voicemail on our home phone (the way I know is we get a text on our cell phones) so I call our house its from BM and its 12 min long! Oh shit what now is what me and my H thought! So I can hear BM and a couple of people talking so thought maybe she didn't mean to call- then I hear her say NO H name is remarried and stared talking about me and my DH. She then said yeah he put her before the girls and says its Biblical! She then says I would never put a man before my girls ever.
So, BM hasn't answered the phone in over a week. We went to BM's house several times over the past two days including at 1 am last night. No lights, no car. She just took $3000.00 from SO. SO doesn't want to call police. Her sister's phone is disconnected. He's going over there today to see if car is there. I told him to take police. (not divorced no court order) Good possibility she took them to New York where relatives are.
Any advice?
So, my H is required by court to provide health insurance for his 2 children, my SS11 and SD14. SD14 is now living with her mother and ss11 is with us. Well BM is always running up insurance bills and bouncing checks for copays...leaving my husband with the bills....(since its HIS insurance)....and he just pays them. Pisses me off to no end, but what can I do. He is very proud of his OUTSTANDING credit rating and doesnt want any issues.
BM STILL tries to text DH, after he asks not her to. This goes back and forth, she texts and he asks her to stop, so he sends her an email for documentation saying what he's already told her, that calls/texts to his cell will no longer be accepted, to either call the phone at the house or his work phone. That was two days ago. No texts so we assume she got it. Well tonight as I'm dragging my tired butt through the door after a hard day at work, what do I get but three texts in a row from BM! "DO NOT CALL/TEXT/EMAIL ME AGAIN! YOU MAY CONTROL YOUR HUSBAND BUT YOU DON'T CONTROL ME!
I am new to this forum and it has been a wonderful help to read all your posts. I have read several of you brave people speak of "detatching". I have read books about it but still seem to have a hard time deciding when do I detatch??? As I mentioned in my post a few days ago, I married a widower and I have a SD 22 and SD 19. I am child-free (I saw that on this website and think its brilliant:) Any advice would be great as I am starting to get very resentful my husband lets the girls treat me poorly due to his "guilt" of their moms passing.
Okay so this is what i thought about after everybody had blogs about the Cp and a man's responsibility.
What about this , What about a man who gets a woman intentionally pregnant after she told him she doesn't want to have children. He pokes holes in the condoms and switches her birth control with Vitamin pills.
Woman gets pregnant .
Man wants to raise the child alone.
Should woman have the child and then pay child support?
Or should woman just go and have an abortion?
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