Control Freak!!!!!
OMG now we cant even take the kids to see the family doctor without BM being present. Oldest SK has a sore throat and feels like his chest is tight so being a paramedic I listened to his chest and there is a wheeze present. Phoned my mother in law to get her to take him to the walk-in for me instead of me having to take all 6 kids with. While waiting for grandma to show up the oldest SK phones BM and she in turn give SO shit.... What the hell? when she has them we find out after the fact when she's taken the kids to the doctor and we only find out if there's a change in the SK medications that we will have to buy for them to have at our place. Oh and she needs to know where the kids are everyday we have them. they were at their grandparents for three days visiting and she rip strip SO for her not being able to contact them on their bedroom landline.... I'm at my witts end with this lady and situation.
- flintstonegarden's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Ugh I feel for you! We had a
Ugh I feel for you! We had a similar ordeal over summer school only it became I'm not in control, SD6 isn't going because I can't get her there, I'm not required to a court won't hold it against me. Don't like it, take me to court.
MIL is her MIL too and is
MIL is her MIL too and is always telling MIL "I have no issue with you. you can see the kids when ever you want." and asks MIL to babysit often and has even gotten MIL to take the kids to the doctor for her in the past. Bur now that we have 50/50 custody her rules are changing.
She should be more concerned
She should be more concerned that her child is sick than throwing a fit about who is taking him to the er. It's not like you stuck him in a taxi alone!
It wasn't even a trip to the
It wasn't even a trip to the ER. It was a regular visit to get his prescription for inhalers refilled.
Aw wtf even worse that she's
Aw wtf even worse that she's got an issue with it then. Control freak much? Ugh
Sometimes when you lose 50%
Sometimes when you lose 50% of custody, you try to make up for it with 50% more assertiveness.
I often see BP & SP fighting to establish "territory". It's hard for BP's to allow anyone else to have any "say so" in their child's lives. SP's often forget that as the need to establish their own "authority" is ever so present.
Being on both sides of the issue, it's often best to give into the BP's requests (demands) if you hope to have a long term cooperative relationship. Once they see that you are not trying to usurp their role as parent, they may relax. If not, at least you had some time without conflict. I realize that "swallowing your pride" is not all that easy. Is trying to prove you have the authority causing you less grief?
I feel your frustration, but as you can do nothing to change her, the only thing you can do is change how you react to it.
Good luck.
I am practicing the "kill
I am practicing the "kill her with kindness" technique for now. We have given in to all her so many time but at what cost or what gain? She one of those "give her an inch and she'll take a mile" types. I have kids of my own and I know her controlling habits are affecting them too. I must be different as a BM/female because I never did this stuff to my ex and his SO.
Court order only says we have
Court order only says we have to give reasonable notice if taking the SK anywhere outside the 100KM radius of the city. To take the SK out of the province or country we need her permission (we already know she wont give permission, that we will have to take her to court again for this).
And if we make her take the kids to appointments we are pretty sure she wont bring them back to us.
Yup. DH and BM have complete
Yup. DH and BM have complete joint custody. DH bitches but he only once ever took one of the skids to a doctor he set up himself and probably only because he had the encouragement and backing of teachers. And that waned. He complains and I remind him he has as much authority as BM to take a skid in but he never does. Not sure what she'd do if he took a kid in. Probably explode the first time.
She can bluster and bellow
She can bluster and bellow all she wants but she has no authority to dictate what happens with the skid on your DH's time. She can be upset all she wants but unless there is a ROFR in the CO, she doesn't have a leg to stand on.
She will only control you if you allow it.
In my two cents worth, the
In my two cents worth, the stepparents should just leave it to the parents. The parents should stop expecting/asking their new partners to do what is the parent's responsibility. When there is a HC nut to deal with, why do these parents who can't get their sh*t together, put their new partners (SM/SF) smack in the middle of dealing with what should be directly their own issues and hang-ups?
If it's not appreciated of your efforts to see that their son gets the meds/care he needs, they'd rather fight over it and do the 'I will do it', 'no, I can and will do it'...pfft. Fine, one or the other fricken stand up and do it and leave the innocent stepparent the heck out of it. Why should the stepparent have to put up with and/or deal with anyone's ex with an axe to grind or an insecurity complex?
With all respect SO was
With all respect SO was working out in the bush where theirs limited call services, coming in to take the kid himself want really an option and MIL is list as an emergency contact for all the kids with everyone including with the walk-in clinic. I'm not listed as an emergency contact for the SK because of BM. If she could I'd have no contact with the kids what so ever.
I can't get past the fact
I can't get past the fact that the walk in clinic will treat the SK without the parent being present. Locally we'd need notarized authorization for MIL to bring him for treatment and they would have to make a phone call to a parent to confirm.
We have a shortage of family
We have a shortage of family physicians here so the walk-in clinic serves as a family practice for many patients. MIL is listed on their charts....